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August 22, 2024

Reflection #37 Holding the Field

The Gap Year: Reflection #37 Holding the Field

Patricia D. Brown

“Let the love you have in your hearts be shown outwardly in your deeds.” --Clare of Assisi

In thinking about President Biden’s recent decision, I’ve decided to skip ahead in my “Gap Year Reflections” and share this one with you— Holding the Field. Let me know your thoughts. —Tricia

Dear Reader, Yesterday was another birthday and I’m realizing that I can no longer operate as I did before. Instead, I see myself as “holding the field”. That is, I am changing my orientation from a predominately “doing” mode to a more “empowering” way of engagement. I know intuitively that my present role is to offer myself as a member of the community; one who creates a safe space where others can find their purpose.

For example, for years I’ve planned a local Winter Solstice event. This entailed recruiting volunteers, leading meetings, purchasing supplies, writing the service, and many numerous details. On the day of the event, I led the laborious physical setting-up and tear-down. This year, as I take on the role of enabler, I am now discovering that by pulling back and encouraging younger workers and volunteers in the work-- simply by being present-- produces the space for community building. Others can do what I did, and often better.

Of course, deciding to embrace this new identity has not been easy; to release control. It’s required me to leave behind old habits, old fears, and even old colleagues as I made passage to a new way of operating. This change has been percolating slowly and is now taking shape. It is time to claim the new.

You, like me, may not know where you are going, but we are not lost. We are the authors of this next chapter of our lives. We hope to become the person we should have always been. Now as we stand in this present moment, we may have no idea what the next twenty years will look like. We only know that they can’t—won’t—look like the past twenty years.

Now it’s your turn.

Take time to reflect and if in a group, share as you feel able.

As the author of this next chapter of my life, I wish to:

a)    change my orientation from a “doing” mode to a more “empowering” way.

a)    release control and embrace a new identity.

b)    leave behind old habits, old fears, and even some old colleagues.

c)    remember that I may not know where I am going, but I’m not lost.

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