Reflection #35 Things and Stuff
The Gap Year: Navigating Life in Transition
by Patricia D. Brown
Do not let the false delights of a deceptive world deceive you. –Clare of Assisi
Some years ago, in preparation for leading a retreat, I invited attendees to bring an item from home that held meaning. It would serve as a helpful way to introduce themselves. Some objects were more obvious in their meaning: a wedding ring, a star-shaped broach inherited from a beloved aunt. One woman brought a chipped coffee mug. Each woman shared a story that held deep meaning. The keepsake represented her identity.
So too, in preparation for our last move, I placed each item in either the take or give box, and I contemplated its importance. I snapped photos of some belongings before placing them in the give-box. Others I tenderly carried to our new home. The porcelain cup and saucer were given to me by my girlfriend. Still, other items were carefully wrapped to store for now, like holiday decor, and decided upon later. All in all, I’m glad I did this task before life demanded it must be done.
This was about getting rid of stuff—basically a form of decluttering. I’d watched the documentary films of the minimalists Joshua and Ryan who remind us to “Love people. Use things: Because the opposite never works.”I streamed the series of the “tidying up” guru, Marie Kondo who told me to keep only what “sparks joy”. The message I heard was that things just aren’t that important. It seemed hard to disagree.
The truth is that there are a few items I wish now that I’d kept. Not many, but a few. And they are gone forever. The lesson I learned was, to be careful what you purge. Give yourself time to consider. Don’t rush the process. A shell box, plastic necklace, Chatty Cathy doll –items I chose to keep-- some things are cherished for the people and times they represent. These just can’t ever be replaced.
Now it’s your turn
Take time to reflect and if in a group, share as you feel able.
When I take inventory of my things and stuff I:
a) feel the need to do a serious purge.
b) think I have items I could pass on to others now.
c) am thoughtful about the new items I purchase.
d) have keepsakes I can’t part with and will keep.