Reflection #21 Shedding Identity
Reflection #21 Shedding Identity
“We may speak of love and humility as the true flowers of spiritual growth; and they give off a wonderful scent, which benefits all those who come near.” –Teresa of Avila
A couple of weeks ago I found myself sitting with two younger colleagues whom I admire. Both presently hold powerful positions… the type of positions that I’d once held within the organization. In our conversation I wanted them to know that I understood their role as well as the challenges and stresses it entailed. So, I shared a bit of what I’d done in years past. Others at the table who “knew me when” chimed in, sharing how my work continued to be beneficial to the organization. I appreciated the mention of my earlier accomplishments.
On one hand, I’ve committed myself that I will let people know who I am and expect to be treated accordingly. On the other hand, I ask myself… why did I need to speak of my accomplishments when I simply want to be present in my own life, and my gifts of experience, and let that be enough. They didn’t need to know my credentials or previous successes, and more importantly, I didn’t need to let them know.
Letting go of our professional or job-focused identity and claiming a new one is a huge step. Especially if we worked for an organization that had a wide influence. Our power and prestige were represented by an organization or company that gave validity to our individual efforts. This too might hamper our release of the past. Departing may make us feel like a “nobody”.
Shedding the identity of our former work and position means stepping out into uncertainty. Release is never as simple as it sounds. To leave a job or professional position, where we were comfortable and had familiar patterns, is not easy because it means releasing our title, role, salary, and (sometimes) perks that were part of the position.
But just perhaps…
…the risk of naming who we are without the job title or professional degree means that we are finally doing the slow inner work of release. My hope is that we arrive at a new identity as the persons we have become. We no longer want to be known as “the former (fill in the blank)”. It means claiming our wisdom and authority. We want to be known for who we are now: one who gives off the wonderful scent of love and humility.
Now it’s your turn
Take time to reflect and if in a group, share as you feel able.
Sometimes I feel:
a.) like a “nobody”.
b.) I want others to know of my credentials and previous successes.
c.) I want people to know who I am and expect to be treated accordingly.
d.) I am doing the slow inner work of release.