Reflection #15 An Outlook on Aging
The Gap Year: Navigating Life
Reflection #15 An Outlook on Aging
“Let us remember that within us there is a palace of immense magnificence.” –Teresa of Avila
Our outlook on aging has a powerful effect on our health and well-being. We want to feel young rather than older, a sense of well-being rather than unhealthy. This is why I find myself steering far away from discouraging stereotypes about aging. Instead of slowly slipping into decline I’ve been looking for inspiring older active individuals who are truly amazing.
Of course, physical pain, as much as we hope to avoid it, forces us to remember that we are indelibly connected to our bodies. It also helps us to have compassion for another’s suffering. To awaken to our bodies with all their limits, we again realize we are not separate from other people and that we need to care for one another in times of need. Our calling is not to tell others, who suffer physical affliction to cheer up. Instead, we find ourselves offering gentle compassionate companionship.
When I turned sixty the immunization specialists and my local pharmacist considered me “old” meaning I was at an increased risk for severe illness and death. This was driven home when I and my spouse were considered first in line to get the COVID-19 vaccine and its boosters. We also received a ‘senior’ strength flu shot, and the shingle vaccines that hurt like someone sucker punched our arms. I’m not complaining and am glad the medical system cares enough to keep us healthy.
I’m of the mind that the more we define ourselves by our frailties and illnesses, the more we allow them to become us. I may have scoliosis, but I am not my scoliosis. As much as the numerous surgeries have left an imprint on me, I will not let them define me. Meet me for the first time and I hope you’ll learn a lot of other things before you hear about my numerous aches and pains– or scare from breast cancer, broken ear drum, Lime Disease, or facial cancer. Yep, I’ve also had these.
When a friend gets a frightening diagnosis, I listen and offer support. I count on others to do the same for me. But please, let’s make a strong correlation between the severity of the disease and the amount of time talking about it --to know the difference between run-of-the-mill ailment and serious illness, and to know our audience. I promise to not talk about my meds over dinner or announce at a party my mammogram is due. I am more than the sum of my ailments and organs. I want to know the joys of your good health news too and to share mine. The challenge is to find the line between too much and not enough.
I have scars. At one time I tried to keep them hidden, covering them with long pants and full blouses. When I wore the Milwaukee Brace as a teen, people tended to draw conclusions and make assumptions about my intelligence and capabilities based on what they saw. Today my scars have become a talisman of sorts, a visual and lasting connection to my own history. I look at it this way; I can be in a lot of pain, have trouble with balance, and be miserable or I can be in pain, walk more slowly, and be happy. I choose to be happy.
Now it’s your turn
Take time to reflect and if in a group, share as you feel able.
My outlook on aging is:
a) one that gives me a sense of well-being.
a) making me more compassionate toward others.
b) filled with worries, fears, and disappointments.
c) uncomplaining and making the choice to be happy.