Reflection #1 What's Next?
The Gap Year: Navigating Life After Retirement Patricia D. Brown
Reflection #1 What’s Next?
“All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well.” --Julian of Norwich
I climbed out of bed at my normal go-to-work time. This was my first day after retirement. Pouring a cup of coffee, I listened to the news, walked the dog. Then, as I washed my face in the bathroom mirror, I said to myself, “What’s now?” What’s next? When I worked, I had a highly structured life. Now I am living a free-floating structure and I find myself fighting an anxiety that says, “What do I do next?” “What is good about what I do?” “What do I truly enjoy?” “Is there something I’ve always wanted to do?” “What should my week look like?” This time --retiring and leaving my final paid employment-- the process of identity replacement isn’t automatic. In these days and weeks, I tried to picture this new chapter of my life. Then I had an ah-ha moment. I needed a break. High school graduates often take a gap year, an educational interlude, prior to a career or postsecondary education in order to better understand and sort out next steps. If they could do this, then why couldn’t I? I too could designate this time as my “gap year”. A “gap year” is one I define as the time between one’s previous life and what happens next. It’s the opportunity to make a new and improved life. All in all, it is a time of transition. A time to review and harvest our life’s story, develop reflective inner strengthening skills, put affairs in order, and choose a direction for future growth. Already I can tell this will not be an easy go. But whatever transition you are in the midst of --perhaps not exactly retirement but another major life change-- I invite you to go along with me. To assist you, at the end of each reading you’ll find “Now It’s Your Turn”. These multiple-choice questions invite you to reflect on your own life story, inner strengths, and dreams for the future.
This “gap year” is not a “one size fits all.” I’ve checked in with others in the same boat. Some have launched a new or second career. Others volunteer in their communities. Still, others became social and political activists. Then some sit back and do nothing, waiting for life to happen. Part of my own hours are dedicated to being present to my grown children, their spouses, and my grandchildren. Each path is good.
The Gap Year says “Now it’s your turn”. It is to take time to reflect on your life, your personal experiences, and your unique way of navigating. Perhaps you don’t know what kind of life work you should be doing or life you should be living. If you think everyone else has it figured out, relax --they don’t.
In some ways, I am growing to love the quiet and stability of my current life. Yet I still yearn for the excitement of new experiences. I look forward to moving from the places where I’ve grown comfortable into the realm of the unknown. I want to feel comfortable enough to be patient with my own life. What a wonderful adventure awaits me and you, a window of opportunity. So, say “to life!”; to all the possible possibilities. Let’s keep living in wonder. These are the wonder years.
Now it’s your turn Take time to reflect and if in a group, share as you feel able.
In this Gap Year I: a) take time to reflect on my life, personal experiences, and unique way of navigating. b) relax, knowing that everyone else doesn’t have it figured out. c) look forward to moving from the places of comfort into the realm of the unknown. d) Enter new adventures and say yes to possible possibilities.