Hello and welcome to the newsletter!

These will be a chance for me to yap about the exciting projects I’m working on as well as creative pursuits I’m exploring. I’ll likely experiment with different formats/layouts to find what feels comfy. I’m excited to share my various adventures and discoveries as I try new things, grow and learn.

What I’m learning:

I had a realisation recently that I’d been holding myself back in so many hidden ways. From things I know I enjoy to things I’m afraid of but would like to try anyway. One of those things was what I wear. I was only wearing the most basic, plain coloured clothing whether inside or outside the house even though I love bright, pretty colours and patterns. So when mum and I took a trip round some charity shops I picked up some colourful clothing that I was drawn to. I also broke the invisible barrier that I’d unknowingly put up around the rest of my wardrobe. Before I was using my clothing as a tool to hide and not draw attention to myself out of fear but I’m taking great steps to instead wear things I enjoy for myself. Because I enjoy them.

Once I started to understand how much I’d closed myself off I began trying to listen for that voice that kept saying “but I couldn’t do that” and question it. I heard it when I was thinking how cool it would be to embroider cute designs on my clothing. And when I questioned it there was no good reason that I couldn’t be the kind of person who embroiders their clothing. So I went on an adventure to acquire some sewing and embroidery supplies. I ended up finding new places in my area I’d never seen before and supporting a small local business when I discovered they had hundreds of beautiful colours of embroidery thread.

And I just started. I began on old fabric I didn’t care about, I streamed the process so I could share my joy in experiencing something completely new (and because I knew some of my community would be able to help if they saw me make any horrendous errors) and I had fun!

Once I’ve got a starting point I’m off! I’ve realised I just need a little bit of starting information to begin something and then I can tweak, iterate and experiment on my own. Listening to that even quieter voice that says “Wouldn’t it be cool if…” and letting it guide me has been such a delight. I heard it say “I want to make little guys!” and I listened. I embroidered a pumpkin onto an old top, a ghost and goose onto a bag, I made a scrunchie for my mum, a pincushion to help me when sewing and some scrungly little guys!

Trying all this gave me confidence to mend clothing and items that had started coming apart. I have access to even more of my wardrobe now that I know I can fix things. And it feels wonderful to know I’m helping the environment by giving my clothes and fabric items longer lives. It’s empowering!

What I’m reading:

The Autistic’s Guide to Self-Discovery by Sol Smith

10/10

I found this an amazing read. As someone who unknowingly masked their neurodivergence most of their life I felt incredibly seen. It was reassuring to know so many of the things I have struggled with were valid and understandable with what I was attempting to force myself into every single day. As well as how common it is for autistic people to experience tremendous burnout as they begin to remove the mask. I yelled to my friend Ev who recommended the book so much as I was reading because I was so enthused and !!! about how the author discusses the topic. Would absolutely recommend to anyone who is discovering their neurodivergence or knows someone who is and wants to support them.

What I’m working on:

My online store!!! I tried tabling at a market a few times and realised that the amount of energy and setup required is not super sustainable for me on a regular occurrence. So since I have my website up and running my next Business Experiment is to set up an online store! I have all the setup for designing and making my own products as well as all my original artwork ready to sell and I believe running an online store will be much more manageable and sustainable energy-wise for me so watch this space for updates on that! It’s a lot of initial work in the setup as me and my friend Mira are building the website from scratch instead of using templates and third-party hosts that charge subscription fees etc. But that means it will be unique and I can be creative in a space (the internet) that feels more and more like every site is a cookie-cutter copy of the next.

I have a million more things I’d love to yap about but in order to actually get this newsletter started and reduce scope creep and perfectionism I’m leaving it here.
Thank you so much for reading, I hope I’ve added a little brightness to your inbox and day and I’d love to know if anything here has inspired you to be creative in any way!

Wishing health and happiness for you all
<3 Spam

Check out the first published page of my website here

I stream live on twitch at least once a week here

And I post VODs on my youtube channel here