🪞Your Words Are Fine — But Where You Say Them Might Not Be
Hello, Hello!
Have you ever been criticized in front of your coworkers? Or seen it happen to someone else in a meeting? I have—and every time, I cringe.
If I’m being honest, I’ve been guilty of this myself (especially in my past relationship… probably one reason she’s now my ex 🙂). I’ve since learned an important lesson: some conversations belong in private.
Praise should be given in public. Criticism should be delivered in private. It’s one of the clearest signs of a good manager—and one of the fastest ways to lose trust when done wrong.
Today, we’re talking about the right timing and the right setting for the right message.
Enjoy,
— Aderson
🪞Your Words Are Fine — But Where You Say Them Might Not Be
Why Where You Say It Matters Just as Much as What You Say
Ever shared a piece of feedback that was totally reasonable… and still got side-eye, silence, or even tension from the room? You might’ve thought: “Wait, what did I say wrong?”
Wrong question.
The better question might be: 👉 “Was this the right place to say it?”
Today’s post is about context, not content. Because even great ideas or helpful concerns fall flat when delivered in the wrong setting. This is especially true if you’re talking to your manager, team lead, or a peer during a high-stakes moment.
Let’s help you avoid that awkward silence — and become someone others respect for their timing as much as their thinking.
⚡️3 Things to Remember About Where You Say Things
🧏‍♀️ 1. Not All Feedback Belongs in the Group Chat
Sometimes we call out issues in a meeting because it's urgent or we want visibility. But if it’s sensitive — about a person’s mistake, or a decision that hasn’t been finalized — calling it out in public can come across as criticism or even embarrassment.
💬 A better approach: Ask yourself, "Would I be okay if someone said this about me in front of others?" If the answer is no, bring it up 1-on-1 first. You’ll get more openness, less defensiveness, and build trust instead of breaking it.
🕰️ 2. Timing Is Location Too
Yes, this post is about “where,” but timing is closely tied to setting. Imagine trying to raise a concern at the end of a Friday all-hands, when everyone is drained and ready to log off. It’s not going to land well, even if what you’re saying is important.
💬 A better approach: Catch people when they can actually listen. Think of your message like a seed. It needs a little mental space to take root. That means avoiding drop-the-mic moments and choosing a calmer setting instead. You’ll be amazed how often “Tuesday morning coffee chat” works better than “Friday 4PM Zoom call.”
🛋️ 3. The More Tense the Topic, the Softer the Setting
Let’s say you’re about to raise something heavy: team dynamics, recurring miscommunication, conflicting expectations.
💬 A better approach: Make the setting more human. This could mean stepping out for a walk, grabbing coffee, or even just saying, “Hey — do you have a few minutes to talk privately?” You’re making space not just for words, but for emotions. And that signals maturity, empathy, and emotional intelligence.
🎙️Final Thoughts
Tactful communication isn’t just about choosing the right words. It’s about picking the right stage. Whether it’s praise or concern, where and when you say something will determine how it lands — and whether it builds connection or creates distance.
It’s not about avoiding hard conversations. It’s about making them easier to hear.
“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.” — Mark Twain