September 4, 2025

🧱 Stop Sabotaging Yourself: Spot the Weak Language Hiding in Your Voice

_{Hello Hello!}

_{I’ll admit it: I’m a people pleaser. And after living in Canada for over 20 years, I’ve picked up the habit of being very apologetic.}

_{Until about a year ago, most of my messages to managers and peers started with things like:
"Sorry to bother…"
"Just a quick thought…"
"Not sure this makes sense, but…"}

_{Harmless? Maybe. But those phrases didn’t exactly scream confidence. They made me sound unsure—even when I wasn’t.}

_{So I made a decision. I started cutting the fluff and speaking more directly. No pretending. Just being intentional with my words. And you know what? I started getting more attention, more respect, and more space in the room.}

_{You don’t have to wait until you feel confident to speak confidently. Sometimes the language leads the mindset.}

_{Let’s talk about how you can stop undermining yourself—starting today.}

_Enjoy,

_{— Aderson}

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🧱 Stop Sabotaging Yourself: Spot the Weak Language Hiding in Your Voice

Ever finish a sentence and think, “Why did I say it like that?” Maybe it sounded unsure. Maybe you apologized when there was nothing to apologize for. Or maybe—just maybe—you’re using weak language without realizing it.

If you’ve ever said:

• “Just an idea, but…”

• “Sorry to bother…”

• “I could be wrong…” Then this post is for you.

This isn't about being rude or overly assertive. It's about not giving people a reason to ignore you before you've even made your point.

I’ve seen this pattern over and over—students in class, devs in meetings, even senior folks explaining something brilliantly, then wrapping it up with, “Does that make sense?” Yes, it does. You made perfect sense. But now you’ve invited doubt.

Let’s fix that.

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🛠️ 3 Things to Pay Attention To

🔎 “Just,” “Maybe,” “I Think” — Cut the Noise

These filler words sneak into our sentences when we’re trying to be polite or soften our message. The intention is good. But the impact? Not so much.

Let’s reframe a few examples:

• “I just wanted to check if you had time…” → “I wanted to check if you had time.”

• “Maybe we could try another approach.” → “We could try another approach.”

• “I think this could work.” → “This could work.”

These aren't aggressive. They're clear. They still invite dialogue—but they don’t undermine your contribution. The moment you remove those extra words, your message becomes 20% shorter and 100% stronger.

📢 Own Your Ideas, Don’t Apologize for Them

Here’s the thing: when you lead with disclaimers like “This might be a dumb idea…” or “I don’t know if this will make sense…”, you’ve already planted doubt in everyone’s mind—including your own.

Instead of inviting others to poke holes in your idea, invite them to build on it:

• “Here’s one approach we could consider.”

• “Something I’ve seen work before is…”

• “What if we looked at it this way?”

You’re not pretending to know everything. You’re participating with confidence. People respect that. And ironically, you’re more likely to spark genuine collaboration when you show you believe in what you’re saying.

🎧 Record Yourself in Low-Stakes Settings

This one’s powerful—and underrated.

You don’t need fancy gear. Just use your phone. Hit record while:

• Practicing a standup update

• Rehearsing a presentation

• Summarizing a technical concept out loud

Play it back. Do you hear "just," "maybe," "I'm not sure," or "Does that make sense?" more than you'd like?

Now re-record. Try again, but this time—cut the weak spots. Say it like you mean it. You’ll be shocked at the difference. With practice, this becomes muscle memory.

I still record myself once in a while—even for my newsletters. It keeps me honest with how I’m showing up and reminds me that strong communication is a skill, not a gift.

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🧰 Extra Tip: Try This Exercise

Next time you're writing an email, Slack message, or documentation:

1. Write it how you normally would.

2. Run a quick “confidence sweep”:

   • Highlight words like just, maybe, I think, sorry, does that make sense?

   • Replace or remove them where possible.

3. Read it out loud before sending.

Try it once, and you'll start spotting weak language everywhere.

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Final Thoughts

There’s no shame in using soft language—we’ve all done it. But once you start spotting it, you’ll be able to choose your words more deliberately. Your ideas matter. So say them like they do.

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Personal Updates

• 🧑‍🎓 The new teaching semester has just started. Welcome to my 2025 Fall Students! We will be learning coding with Python 🐍

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“Don’t speak unless you can improve the silence. But when you do speak—mean it.” — Anonymous

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