š³ the source of creative conviction
on the source of confidence, creative conviction, and the magic of beginning.
Dear friends,
I am writing to you this week from a place of a lot of frustration. Iāve been thinking a lot about the difference between security and safety, and the way that our societies are structured around those two forces. I am a freelancer who left two big traditional 9-5 jobs over the course of the last five years of my early career. And when you freelance, you learn a lot about what makes you feel safe vs what makes you feel secure.
Many freelancers have to wait weeks if not months to receive payment for work that theyāve already done. And itās safe to say that this system can sometimes leave me feeling depleted and dissapointed with the bureaucracy certain humans uphold to serve a limited few. And having to wait long periods of time between paychecks certainly doesnāt make me feel secure.
But I am also thinking about the jobs I left. Even when I was getting a regular paycheck, my sense of security was also being challenged in different ways. I left a traditional jobĀ shortly before massive layoffs took place in that industry. That certainly wasnāt secure, even though there may have been the illusion of security for a while. And the grind culture at these jobs that drove me to severe burnout was also another element that eroded my sense of safety at those jobs, despite the money I could expect to receive in my bank account every two weeks.Ā
Writer and artist Kening Zhu writes beautifully about the difference between security and safety. She says, security is a story we tell ourselves about a promise that was made to us. For example, one of those stories might be āMy 9-to-5 job will pay me every two weeks and give me health benefits.ā But ultimately, as weāre seeing in real time in the U.S, that promise can collapse at any time due to external forces. Safety, on the other hand, is an internal, felt sense we create for ourselves and through our community. Itās like that voice in your head thatās like āyouāre going to be okay, youāre going to get through this.ā
I think safety ā like securityā is also a story we tell ourselves, but its source is wholly different. I agree with Kening that safety is an embodied feeling, but Iād like to extend that definition to say safety is an embodied feeling that is generated from continual acts of self and community-based efficacy. It requires us to believe that we can and our loved ones can care for ourselves/us no matter the circumstance. Safety doesnāt derive its power from capitalistic promisesā¦ rather, safety comes from the promises we makeĀ to ourselves to create the version of reality we want to live in. Iāve been living in the power of that realization for the past few days and its been just the balm I needed. I want to move towards a life that prioritizes safety, safety for myself and all the life I hold dear.Ā
ā¦ But safety requires conviction and positive self-regard. This week, I wrote about where confidence and conviction come from , featuring some exercises you can do to explore your own relationship to confidence and what you need to embark on a new project or desire. Check it out on the blog :)
The Source of Creative Self-Confidence ā SOJOURNER AHEBEE
a guide for nurturing the confidence within you to get started on any creative project or dream.
š”i just had an epiphany ( creative breakthroughs)
small promises: Last November, I wrote the first 25,000 words of a novel during National Novel Writing Month. The whole process taught me that conviction of your creative projects or goals comes from keeping small, daily promises to myself. You can read more about that idea on my blog entry about confidence linked here.
confidence to start: Through the process of starting this newsletter, I was reflecting on the question of what makes someone confident to start a new creative project. Sometimes it helps to identify other successful examples of what youāre trying to make or other people who are in conversation with the thing youāre making/embarking on. This helps affirm the fact that what youāre making or doing is not this crazy thing that only lives in your head. Thereās already a version of the thing you want to do that exists and resonates with real people.
squashing āplanner brainā: Sometimes the need to plan out and outline the entirety of a goal or creative project keeps me from starting the project entirely. Turns out, distilling my idea or desire into a few core pieces and just getting started without an exhaustive plan makes all the difference. I have a specific guide for folks who (like me) suffer from what Iām calling āplanner brainā in the blog for this week.
š§ļø whatās pouring in (Sojournerās inspo)
creative ideation portal: I want to make my own guide for folks who need support with beginning something new. When I was planning to release this newsletter project, I needed similar support. At the time, a friend of mine forwarded me this incredible resource called the Creative Ideation Portal. Created by artist and writer Cody Cook-Parrot, itāsĀ a 3-day digital series. For three days, you get a step-by-step guide sent to your email with prompts for visioning the beginning of a new project or goal in your life and setting up structure to bring this reality forth into the world. Itās SOOOO POWERFUL. If you try it out, send me an email to let me know how it felt :)Ā
Denzel can do no wrong: My goal to watch 28 Black films for 28 days of Black History Month quickly turned into an exhaustive deep dive of every film Denzel Washington ever touchedā¦ And I am not mad about it. One of the gems from this process was actually a film he didnāt even act in or direct but instead executive produced. Itās called The Piano Lesson, which is a film adaptation of a very famous play with the same name by August Wilson. Starring Denzel Washingtonās son, John David Washington, Samuel Jackson, and Danielle Deadwyler, the story follows this Black family whose ancestors in 1911 stole a piano from the family of their former enslavers(youāll find out why later in the movie, I donāt wanna ruin it). This piano has a storied history and charged energy that are deeply felt in its current household. And sometimes the piano dredges up old ghosts the family is not ready to contend with. Stirring and emotional, this film literally brought me to tears and made me grateful for all the ancestors I can call on when I need the most help. Just watch it. Thank me later.
be your own hype person: If you need a little permission to hype yourself up during these TRYING times, go on and read the poem Ego Tripping(there may be a reason why) by Nikki Giovanni. This may have been the first poem I was ever forced to memorize by my wonderful mother as a child lol. I recently revisited this treasure of a poem and there were so many more nuggets of wisdom waiting for me. Let me know if thereās a specific line from the poem that really resonates with you!
š² let her cook
These days, I split my time between my partnerās apartment and the apartment I share with my mom. I am so grateful to be able to care for my mother and to see her pretty often. Itās a blessing that Iām appreciating more and more as I get older. Last Monday, I came home to my apartment and gave my mom a surprise/belated Valentineās Day dinner. With chocolate truffles and fresh flowers in hand, I told my mom to relax as I cooked up a familiar favorite : linguine with clams.
The recipe I use requires you to soak the clams in cold salt water to get rid of the debris as you prepare the garlic, shallots, lemon zest, and fresh parsley.
This is a RICH recipe. While the linguine is boiling in warm salt water, youĀ heat up several tablespoons of olive oil and sautĆ© the garlic and shallots until they are fragrant. But the real magic happens when you add the parsley, red pepper flakes, and a whole cup of a dry white wine(think: pinot grigio or chardonnay)and watch the liquid turn into a glistening and probing green. Thatās when you add the clams and cover the pan for a few minutes.
I like this step the best because the clams eventually open up their tightly closed shells. The warmth of all that water, oil, and steam makes this happen. Whenever I watch this process unfold, I think about the power of warmth and how it opens us to the softness within ourselves. The squishy clam meat at the center canāt be reached without the warmth of the water, the rich spice of the seasonings marrying each other in this simmering, rich dream.
Iāll leave you with this:
Where can you reach for more warmth in your life?What do you find yourself wanting to open yourself to?
What makes you feel safe to open?
š«“šæ from me to you
On March 15, 2025 at 4 PM ET Iām teaching a 2-hour poetry workshop at Making Worlds Bookstore & Social Center in West Philly. The workshop centers on the rich tradition of African-American oral storytelling, particularly stories that are passed down through Black families/communities and are laden with lessons about joy, survival, and creative expression. Weāll read poems by poets like Jericho Brown, Nikky Finney, and yours truly that engage ancestral themes/narratives. Iāll guide folks through some generative writing prompts and discussion questions that help us explore our own relationships to our ancestors(both biological and chosen). And folks will get to generate their own ancestral story/poem. The in-person workshop will be capped at 15 participants, RSVP event link is still forthcoming but Iām including the poster for the event below (philly friends, Iād so appreciate it if you could share this widely):
šļø into the archives
tarot creative diary no.1 | the forest lovers (The Wild Wood Tarot)
A few months ago, I started sharing the messages I collect from my ancestors through my tarot practice on my blog. In the following blog archive, I wrote about a question I asked my late grandmother about working with the energies of doubt and insecurity.
ancestral tarot diary no. 1 | the forest lovers | self-harmony and doubt as creative energy ā SOJOURNER AHEBEE
Our ancestors have messages for us. I harness these messages through the power of tarot and you can too. Read this week's tarot diary on paths to inner harmony and partnering the energy of doubt to move towards life purpose!
Morning routines and creative self-regard
Here are some thoughts on how morning routines help us build trust within ourselves to move towards our wildest creative dreams.
Morning Routines & Creative Self-Regard ā SOJOURNER AHEBEE
How morning routines help us build trust within ourselves to move towards our wildest creative dreams.
šUntil soon, dear friends!
from the footsteps of my desires to yours,
š¦sojourner