I'm desperate to send this newsletter
Oh gosh! What am I supposed to talk about now?!
I spend my days experiencing the highs of having large proportional tits, wearing sexy underwire bras, and going for runs regularly. People look because I’m a cute brown woman, and it’s not a painful scrutiny because I don’t pass. This is all happening in my head obviously. 60% of transgender struggle is outside of you, and the other 60% is inside your head. Yes that’s right, 120%. Let me show you the googleey spreadsheet that proves it. I also spend about 8 hours over the course of Tuesday and Wednesday every week convincing myself my estradiol levels are too low just before they spike again when I inject it into my thigh on Thursday. They really are a bit low though. This is not in my head, but we’ll find the correct dose soon.
I’m a doctor AND an entrepreneur.
My job is also going great for now. It’s a lot of work thinking about things I actually care about. And it’s also a ton of meetings, and everyone info dumping and I’m like “yes please more, but pull my hair too.”
I think I’ve been dating, but I’m realizing sometimes I need to tell people that I’m enjoying it and say things like “I would like to do this again” but I never do. I think I’m learning that if I don’t feel it in my body, then I will absolutely not prioritize them.
This week when I injected my hormones I suddenly decided I should negotiate the cost of getting a powerful computer into a data center. I feel compelled by some sort of higher power or “God” to do this. I’m on a mission from God and the mission is to buy a rack mount server with 256 Gigabytes RAM and 2 Terabytes of disk space and put into a data center. We’ll figure out the rest from there, I guess. I really wonder what God is going to tell me next. I think maybe I won’t shutdown my business so I can buy IP addresses.
Truly though, I’m experiencing a glow up and I’m so happy to be alive. Listen I went to the beach with a bunch of lesbians, and now I’m going to learn to surf before the season is over. I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH LESBIANS. They’re so normal and love breasts AND WOMEN’S BASKET BALL.
I went to a computer conference centered around privacy, and digital freedom, and it was the most fun I’ve had at a conference. I saw an amazing talk by a trans woman technologist who used to be a sex worker give a talk for the EFF about bodily autonomy and I felt deeply sad, but mostly I feel “fired up” and ready to do more. I’ve been thinking about data brokers too. Here is the first useful thing I’m saying in this post: https://github.com/yaelwrites/Big-Ass-Data-Broker-Opt-Out-List
I think I definitely should speak next there next year.
The truth is that now that I have this job, I feel access to a very creative part of myself that loves to cold-email people and suggest ideas for ways to collaborate. I am coming into my power. Just as the tarot cards foretold.
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆Moon⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
(Just as the tarot cards foretold)