Hey,
Sorry I didn’t write to you last week; I’ve been feeling terrible. Well, sometimes. I wrote about it last time I emailed and those symptoms have persisted. Sometimes it feels like it’s getting better, other times it’s back with a vengeance.
And… now I think I’m coming down with a cold.
It really sucks to be in this space and for it to still be happening. Three weeks of it now, which is unfamiliar territory for me. I’m rarely ill and I’m never ill for this long. It’s stopping me from living life — I’ve not been running for three weeks, I’ve had to skip out on things I wanted to do, I’m having to squeeze work into the healthy edges of my time and let other things fall away.
For a guy who writes about living slower, eschewing hustle culture, and appreciating the smaller parts of life… I’m finding this enforced slowdown pretty unbearable. Funny, isn’t it? When the going gets tough, that’s when my values 'should' really come into focus and shine through in my actions and feeelings. I’m trying not to beat myself up over this — that’s the last thing I need right now — but it’s interesting to see how my idea of ‘me’ stands up under the pressure of the heavy edges of life.
Another point I want to make is one that I shared on Instagram a little while ago. This tiny window of persistent illness has given me a renewed sympathy for anyone living with a chronic condition. It sucks a lot and I can only wish some peace, rest, and relief if you’re in that position.
As for what’s next, I’m not totally sure where I go from here. I know all my vital signs are okay, I’m resting as much as I can, and I’m keeping my diet varied and my supplements consistent. My hope is that I’m slowly on my way out of it, but I’m afraid I don’t fully believe that.
(My blood tests all came back normal/satisfactory — even my B12 and folate levels, so miss me with the vegan slander!)
Need a little help moving slower?
Ease your way out of Friday afternoon with this newsletter, a nice cup of something, and a little background music. Steal my setup if you aren't sure where to start.
After I press send, I’ll be drinking some of Roastworks’ The Truth blend. It’s in my Dad’s bean to cup machine, they’re a local Devon business, and it’s my last few days at home before we head off for a fortnight of dogsitting up country. It’s a nice confluence of homey vibes, so I’ll drink it in and savour it as best I can.
And this weeks song is one I’ve been coming back to for months now. I’m kind of amazed I haven’t shared it with you yet, actually. Thanks by Quinn Christopherson is emotional — or maybe it’s emotive. I feel a lot when I listen to it. The lyrics are earnest and I hear a lot of feeling in his voice. Then it finally, achingly builds and gets a bit more oomph. It’s just a lovely, powerful song. I hope you like it.
Take it easy,