Progress 🗞️ Slow News Day #19

Hey,

Every Sunday at Cactus, a local guide takes the group on an excursion somewhere on the island. He picks a cool place to go and gives everyone a rough timescale for the day. It’s a great addition, but it’s not for me. I’m not much of a hiker (I could write for days about my dislike for the concept, but that’s not really Slow News Day material). I get anxious without a clear plan and I tend towards panic when I’m not in control of my movements or schedule.

So, I don’t go on these Sunday trips. And I feel like a total fucking loser when I don’t. I’m on a beautiful volcanic island and I’m not comfortable going out for the day to clamber over cliffs and swim in choppy seas.

There’s a huge swathe of negative self-talk that goes on in my head — even though I know I’m acting in a way that respects my boundaries and gives me the sense of safety I need. It’s something I’ve been properly working on with intention for the last year or so and I always pictured my progress with it as a stepped thing.

I figured the process looked like:

I figured that, once I get past one of these states, the path behind me crumbles and I will never again feel that way. Like I’ve evolved and reached the next level.

But, talking to Erica (one of the loveliest colivers I’ve been lucky enough to met) the other day, she helped me realise that the movement is nothing like that. Instead, it’s a constant dance between all these stages. That these paths are, in fact, the only constant in my experience, rather than the expendable part.

Sometimes it doesn’t make sense, sometimes it seems crystal clear.

The stories I tell myself about social pressures, how I ‘should’ appear to others, and the person I expect myself to be can make the easiest decisions feel impossible. It can make the illusion of progress falter and crack. It can remind me that progress comes in lots of forms.

What do you think?

Slow down guide

Need a little help moving slower?

Ease your way out of Friday afternoon with this newsletter, a nice cup of something, and a little background music. Steal my setup if you aren’t sure where to start.

After I press send, I’m going to be brewing more of the Cafe Ortega roast that I mentioned last week. It’s good, albeit a little one-dimensional. Still, when the option is that or instant… well, I’ve talked before about my coffee snobbery. We all have our shortcomings, eh?

To get me through the last stint of work for the week, I’m going to turn to October Drift’s masterpiece of a new album I Don’t Belong Anywhere. Highly recommended for anyone who enjoys gritty, fuzzy, reverb-y rock with a tinge of anthemic pop and indie. If that’s you, there’s nowhere better you could spend 40 minutes than with Taunton’s titans of the genre.

Take it easy,