Over 🗞️ Slow News Day #50

Hey,

I’m not one for clickbait, so let me say from the off — the newsletter continues!

Instead, something else is over. Something that feels kind of big and scary and cool and hopeful. I’ve called time on my sessions with my therapist. For now, with her, at least.

Starting therapy was, I think, the single most important act of my adult life. I’ve learned new things about myself, my relationships, and the ways I think and speak and act. I’ve come to understand the ways I take myself seriously and the ways I act unkindly towards myself. I’m working through a bunch of things that, I hope, will help me create a more peaceful and fruitful life.

And it’s by no means been a cure-all, I’ve been on and off antidepressants long before and after therapy. I still have days when life feels impossibly and mustering the energy for anything feels like dragging the most unbearably heavy weight.

All that being said, having the space to sit down for an hour each week and talk about me — how I feel, what I think, things I’ve done or experienced — has been transformative. Forget the depth and detail of working with a therapist, I think the magic is in taking deliberate time out to focus solely on me. Entering a place where whatever I bring to the room is heard and accepted is amazing. Where there’s no right or wrong, no judgements, just reflections and conversation.

So why the hell have I stopped? Writing all of that out, I’m starting to question myself all over again…

I've a few reasons:

1. For the last year-and-a-bit (since doing the nomad thing), most of my sessions have been on Zoom. It’s good, but it’s not as good as it gets. There’s an element of distance and a lack of social and proprioceptive feedback that I stumble over sometimes.

2. I’ve found that, in a few of my most recent sessions, I’ve felt a bit like I haven’t had much to bring. That ended up with me feeling a bit distant or less present than I’d like and also that I wasn't getting what I wanted from those sessions.

3. I’m interested in using the money I’d be spending on therapy to explore some more embodied self-work — primarily massage and more movement practice. There are lots of ways to work on myself and I’m feeling like I’d benefit from more attention to my physical self.

There you have it, then. It’s a weird moment — 2+ years and out. Like I touched on right at the start, I expect that I’ll come back to talking therapy before long. I might try another therapist and see what the difference is. It might just be that this is an extended break that I’ll coming back from before long. Let's just see where I end up.

Slow down guide

Need a little help moving slower?

Ease your way out of Friday afternoon with this newsletter, a nice cup of something, and a little background music. Steal my setup if you aren't sure where to start.

After I press send, I’m back on Ozone Coffee. I usually jump around between roasters, but they have a cool and well-priced seasonal bundle on at the moment and one of you lovely folks used my referral link last time that earned me 1000 points aka a £10 voucher. You absolute gem. Anyway, I’m mixing up my days between their Organic Blend and their Nova Aliança roast. Both are well worth your tastebuds’ attention. Treat them, they deserve it and so do you.

Take that first sip and press play on Do Nothing’s new single Nerve. There’s a waviness to it that fits with our sharp turn into summertime — no hard crashes or raging breakdowns; more of a meandering and nodding vibe. They can do the grizzly post-punk thing, but they’re a talented band and write with layers that let them mix and match between soft, dark, spiky, and bright in a coherent way. They came out of nowhere and became a fast favourite of mine. I hope they do something similar for you.

Take it easy,