Hey,

I get giddy about this. It’s probably a bit silly, but it catches me by surprise regularly and makes me fizz with excitement. I’ll try to explain it as best I can…

My life—especially now, moving regularly and stacking plans—is full of milestones in the calendar. For example, in ~four weeks, I’m running a 10k race in Exmouth. I know that that date is coming up, that I’m accelerating towards its stationary position. That, no matter what I do, think, say, believe, feel, I know that that inevitable point in time will arrive and I will be on that start line.

I had it with our arrival at the Château—I knew that the moment would come in which our car turned in through the gates and we’d be held by the archway of trees and my heart would slow down and I’d feel the wash of peace across my chest. That knowledge made a brutal ferry crossing easier, it made the weeks leading up feel… out of shape?

Having a concrete moment like that ahead of me—a changing, a milestone—feels good. I think. It’s turned time into little spirals, rather than an unending linearity. It can be unsettling, sure, but that isn’t always a bad experience.

All the while… I know that the only reason these milestones are so concrete and guaranteed is because I’ve made a commitment to them. Financially, yes, but also mentally. If I really didn’t want to run that 10k, I could just not turn up and waste the cost of entry. If I really didn’t want to be here in France, I could have backed out and stayed at my parents’ or got a little Airbnb in England.

So maybe what I’m really enjoying is that I’m making a series of choices that, deep down, I really want. While the surface of life’s waters get choppy day-to-day, the bedrock far below remains unmoved. I want these things. I choose these things. I commit to these things.

It’s nice to know I’ve got my own back, in the end.

Slow down guide

Need a little help moving slower?

Ease your way out of Friday afternoon with this newsletter, a nice cup of something, and a little background music. Steal my setup if you aren't sure where to start.

After I press send, I’ll be back on the Château’s SuperU basic beans. They come out dark and roasty, oat milk cuts the bitterness quite nicely, and there’s a specificity to the flavour that feels so of this place that I’ve come to love it as much as any speciality coffee I’ve tried.

Whether you’re feeling basic or fancy, I think Petey’s Did I Mention I’m Sorry will meet you there. Pop-punkish, oomphy indie with a bit of tenderness and heartbreak thrown in. It’s not write-by-numbers, but it’s also not a revolution in the genre. Good, reliable stuff. Something solid to look ahead to, I suppose.

Take it easy,