Hey,
Iāve become pretty good at catching myself when I sway to the rhythm of the cult of productivity. Iāll clock when Iām itching and twitching about not working enough or maximising my time with opportunities and efficiencies. I know that that shit doesnāt serve me and itās not a way of living that feels right or helpful or respectful.
But it comes up in other ways, that cult of productivity. Ways that Iām still learning to spot and address.
Iām in Madeira ā have been for almost four weeks, will be for another two. Iāve done some nice stuff, seen some cool places, had a great timeā¦ and I have this regular, nagging voice in my head that says I should be out doing more, seeing more.
I should hike.
I should swim in the sea every day.
I should wake up early and greet the morning sun.
But, uhā¦ why? Why? If Iām not doing those things naturally and Iām bullying myself about not doing them, I clearly donāt want to do them. Iām just putting some imaginary pressure on myself, from some imaginary place, because I believeā¦ I donāt know? That it makes me a better person? That it makes me interesting? That it means Iām doing it ārightā?
I add things into my life when I want to do them and when I feel a genuine internal compulsion to do so. The life I live now is different to the one I lived one year ago, but none of the changes have come from me telling myself Iām a piece of shit for relaxing indoors on a Saturday instead of going out to climb a mountain.
Damn, I mean, how much of my time do I spend telling myself itās okay to work in a way that doesnāt look like the societal āgoodā, āperfectā, or āprofessionalā exampleā¦ only to then berate myself for not spending my leisure time as the mirror image of some societal ideal.
Thatās the thing with cults, I guess, theyāre pretty persistent in their recruitment. Keep up the good fight, dear reader. We wonāt succumb to the pressure. We will live life as slowly as we damn well please.
Need a little help moving slower?
Ease your way out of Friday afternoon with this newsletter, a nice cup of something, and a little background music. Steal my setup if you aren't sure where to start.
After I press send, Iāll be heading across the road to enjoy an espresso at The Old Pharmacy, one of Ponta do Solās sweetest cafĆ©/restaurants. They know what theyāre doing and, although Iām missing some more explorative and out-there options from English roasteries, Iām pretty content with a bold brew made with Portuguese flair. Maybe thereās a pastry in it for me, too. Letās just see.
Something a little different, music-wise, this week. 4:41 of soft, echoing piano, DIY recording-style so you can hear the clunking squeak of a pressed pedal and the occasional cold, thick depression of a key. Benjamin Amaruās brigette r. (thank you for everything) is practically begging to be enjoyed, lazily, with a cup of coffee in hand.
I hope youāll take him up on the offer.
Take it easy,