Adolescence 🗞️ Slow News Day #56

Hey,

I’m new to this adulthood thing. I’ve only done 10 years of it. Before that, I was a kid — legally, literally, and emotionally.

That means I’m about to hit the teenage years of my adulthood. When I think about the misplaced forthrightness of my childhood teenage years, I’m starting to realise I should tread carefully.

I had it all figured out, you see. I knew how things worked — I saw through the bull and knew how to right the wrongs of the world. I was sure that how I saw things and the way I imagined my life should go were absolute and would remain correct forever.

What an easy ride it would be, to see ahead and predict every curve and bump in the road before they troubled me.

I turn 29 next week. The person I was at 19 is pretty different to who I am now. The person I was aged 12 is a distant memory. The person I’ll be at 36 (post-adult teenage years!) is likely to be a different person, too.

There are some constants and some elements that have evolved and grown alongside me… but so much has changed. How I see the world and move through it. What I want from my life and how I try to live it. What I think matters and what I want less of. The things that I thought defined me and the ways I pretended, so I could fit in better. The things I held tightly as truths fell away and the beliefs that felt critical to my very being have dissipated and reformed again and again.

More than anything, I’m hoping that remembering I’m in adult adolescence will mean I grant myself some more grace. Some things feel messy and screwy in my life right now and others feel really solid. The chances that they’ll stay exactly as they are for another 10 years are not exactly high.

So, Joe, as you start your second turn at teenagehood: trust that things will become clearer, don’t hold on too tightly to your angsty belief that you’ve got it all worked out, let things ebb and flow. If you can, you could even dare to enjoy the great wild unknown of it all.

How long did it take you to feel like an adult, or like you were settled in your adulthood? It’s an imprecise question — I hope you can understand why!

Slow down guide

Need a little help moving slower?

Ease your way out of Friday afternoon with this newsletter, a nice cup of something, and a little background music. Steal my setup if you aren't sure where to start.

After I press send, I’ll be finishing up the last of Ozone Coffee’s now-sold-out Jura roast. Sorry to tease an un-purchasable coffee, but it really has been a hit the two times I had it. Ozone know what they’re doing, so I can pretty happily recommend you click that link above (a referral link, which will gain me ‘points’ if you make a purchase) and treat yourself to anything that sounds good. Ozone are out of their teenage phase and operate with the cool, calm, reliability of a grown-up business that’s been there and done it all before.

Another Michael’s Angel will give you plenty of reason to stop, sit back, and sip the good stuff slowly. It’s tender, head-bopping, and heartfelt. If you like midwestern emo that’s heavy on the midwestern, you’ll find a lot to like in this. I saw them supporting Pinegrove in Bristol last year and they were wonderful. They’re just as lovely on record, too. This is a really beautiful song. If you listen, I hope it touches you the way it does me.

Take it easy,