currently reading: 4.48 Psychosis by Sarah Kane
books finished:
French Exit by Patrick deWitt
Magical Negro by Morgan Parker
books bought:
none(?) (possibly a first in 52+ weeks)
books received:
Make This Sound Like Singing by Al Reitz & Carl Lavigne
Magical Negro by Morgan Parker (e-galley)
Hey you,
Yesterday on Twitter I saw some people having a discussion about blurbs – whether or not they are useful in selling books, how tedious and embarrassing the process of obtaining them is, whether or not the people who write blurbs even read the books in question in the first place. It was (at least as far as I could tell) a conversation mostly about the blurbs you get from famous authors pre-publication, not ones that are like, pulled from reviews in major publications. Most people who were replying to the original tweet seemed to be anti-blurb, and they were pretty persuasive.
I'm not sure, first of all, that customers have ever remarked on a blurb, at least not to me, their favorite local bookseller. No one has ever been like, "Well, [author who wrote the blurb] liked it, so I'm on board!" Maybe they totally are doing that and just not saying it to me. (The problem with this theory is that customers say everything else to me, such as very personal reasons why they are buying a particular book or very personal details about the intended recipient. Just once I would like someone to say "I am looking for a good book" rather than "I'm looking for a good book that doesn't mention tax embezzling for my cousin who just got out of prison for tax embezzling. I didn't visit him the entire time he was there but I'm sure he understands. I'm getting him this book as a getting-out-of-jail present. That seems like enough, right? Nothing hardcover – I don't like him that much!"). Although now that I say that I remember there are a few times where a customer has seen the name of the person who wrote the book and decided (I'm not sure there's a better word for it) that actuallythatauthor was the one who wrote the book, and so told me.
I know that a blurb hasn't convinced me to buy a book, but there are definitely blurbs that have convinced me not to buy a book. If it's something I was on the fence about and I see it has a blurb from like, Lionel Shriver? Maybe that's petty, but... I am petty.
Here's my main problem with the blurb: it feels like there is literally no way to write a new one, one that hasn't already been written. I feel like as a result of this blurb inflation there has been a short of blurb arms race, blurb proliferation. Your blurb has to be the most hyperbolic. This book literally fucking murdered me and dismembered my body and left me in a dumpster. If you read this book, the president will be impeached. This book will make you just as rich as me, Bill fucking Gates. There are only so many words you can use: electrifying, heartbreaking, heartfelt, brilliant, ferocious, laugh-out-loud, gripping, engaging.
In fact, I've done a pretty thorough inventory of my bookshelves, and also of literally all of the bookshelves at the bookstore, and here are about 65% of the blurbs you can write:
This is the indispensable book for understanding America in the age of Trump.
This should be required reading for [small group of people, then slightly larger group of people, then everyone in America/the world].
[Author] is my new favorite writer/the best writer working today.
[Debut novel] marks [author] as a writer to watch.
And, OK, yeah, I'm writing this newsletter instead of reading the manuscript of the galley I'm supposed to be writing a blurb for, but I'm not sure why you think the two things are related? That's crazy. It's not like I'm refusing to read the manuscript because I feel like I won't have anything interesting to say about it (which is very different from thinking it's not a great or interesting read) and then I'll say something boring and disappoint the author and the publishers. It's nothing like that at all!
Now that I have gone off on book-praising hyperbole, I want to talk about Morgan Parker's forthcoming poetry collection, Magical Negro. This is going to sound like I'm exaggerating, and therefore being a complete hypocrite, but I really mean it: I felt bowled over by this one. Her command of language seems fucking unbelievable. It's not out for six months so I'm sorry for being a dick and talking about it now. But, like, look at the first few lines from the first poem in the collection, "I Feel Most Colored When I Am Thrown Against a Sharp White Background":
Or, I feel sharp white.
Or, I am colored against.
Or, I am thrown. I am against. Or, when white. I sharp. I color.
Those are just the first three lines! You can see why I had to mention it.
There are many people in the next few months who will be writing about what a fucking phenomenon Magical Negro will be, many of them vastly more qualified than me to do so, and I look forward to reading their work – mostly I just wanted to give you a heads-up that none of it will be exaggerated.
No need to wish me luck writing the blurb I'm supposed to write, because I don't need it. I sell books for a living!* I've totally got this one!
Your friend,
Smalls
*Well.....................................something like a living, anyway.