For a few weeks in September, something magical happens in our yard. The tall, slightly scraggly plants that emerge when spring fades suddenly burst into flower. First one yellow bloom, then another, until suddenly there's a sea of gold waving gently in the wind.

I didn't intend to plant tall swamp marigold (Bidens aristosa). I thought I was planting marsh marigold (Caltha palustris) which is much smaller and an entirely different plant. At first, I was disappointed. While both are native to my region, I was charmed by the marsh marigold – and I sometimes have a hard time letting go of my plans.

Since the first year that they bloomed, though, I've loved the swamp marigold. When the milkweed and irises and day lilies are gone and the asters are just beginning, they make their own kind of beauty and draw in more. Bees love swamp marigold, as do butterflies, and even a hummingbird (spotted this year!).

While I would still like to plant marsh marigold someday, I don't have any regrets.

Reading and thinking about reading

I've been thinking about thinking about reading, prompted partly by my pal Renay’s Intergalactic Mixtape project. Because I'm the kind of nerd that I am, I went through and found linked reviews for books that I plan to read. When I'm done reading the book, I read the reviews.

At the moment, my own critical brain feels like sludge. I'm struggling to articulate why I do or don't like a specific book. But reading other people's criticism seems to kickstart my thoughts. Reading what one person has to say about Radiant Star, I can think, “Oh no, they've missed the point of the narrative style.” Reading what someone appreciates in The Last Contract of Isako, I resonate in agreement.

I still want to write about books with the same ease and fluency that I did in my twenties, and it still feels almost impossible. But maybe there are ways to start moving that way again.

Cooking

I'm not sure I've ever said this here, but since I was a teenager, I've maintained an absurd hoard of recipes that I want to make or have made or want to make again. At first, they were mostly computer printouts or copies of family recipes. At one point, I meticulously handwrote them on lined notebook paper. Currently, they're mostly digital and I do have a database to function as an index.

Since my diabetes diagnosis, one of the big mental and emotional challenges has been letting go of many of the recipes I wanted to make. I will probably never fully master the art of choux pastry, for example. I've spent almost three years working to reclaim joy in food and cooking. It felt extremely impossible at times.

And now, of course, we have a delightful disruption to everything, including cooking. Once again, I'm having to learn new rhythms and patterns. It's easier this time, both because the change is a happy one and because I'm more prepared. I know now that the rhythms I create now will probably change again and, hopefully, will only grow in richness and depth.

Gardening

The end of August and beginning of September are always a bit of a transitional time in my garden. It's still hot, humid, and often dry, but something about the light changes anyway.

We still have an abundant harvest, though. Beans, tomatoes, raspberries, and okra are all going strong. I harvested the garlic for the year (yay!) and the tiny amounts of flax and chickpeas we got. Goldenrod, marigolds, zinnia, hyssop, and salvia are all in full bloom, making the yard cheerful and bright. I'm picking flowers regularly to put in the nursery and it always makes my heart happy to see the colors together.

Life recently

Did you know that we have two very sweet and silly cats? My mom has been visiting for the last two weeks and Bear has decided that he needs to make sure her bed is comfortable enough. Mouse fought her own tail while upside down on a stepladder this morning, proving that she did not have the shared orange cat braincell.

My brother also came out to meet baby S and attend her baptism. It was really special to see him interacting with her and great to have the time together. My sister is planning to visit later this month and I can't wait! My dad's brother was able to join us for the baptism as well, as he always tries to for big family events.

Currently, R is back at work while I'm still off until mid-October. He's able to take two weeks off with Stella when I go back, which I'm thrilled about for both of them. We're not sure exactly how this is all going to work and there's some possibility that I end up leaving my job and looking for something remote and/or part time instead. The whole idea is terrifying but also a little bit thrilling. Who knows what the future will bring? Not me, that's for sure!

Wishing you cool days and warm blankets,

Maureen