As a parent, I often find myself saying some things that were, as they say, “not on the bingo card.” Things like, don’t pee on your brother, and let’s play excavator-mounted drill rigs! and, you can’t throw a cup at his head even if he is wearing a bowl. We spend a lot of time talking about things that are safe and unsafe, how we only get one head, and that it’s okay to go to bed because the dog will stay up and protect the house from monsters.

But one of the things I say most these days is, there’s plenty for everyone. K, who spent the first 4.5 years of his life in a government institution, has lately been concerned about “saving” things, usually snacks, for later. The impulse makes perfect sense coming from an environment in which food might have been scarce, and control definitely was. The desire to hold onto food for later is also a big improvement from when he made himself sick from eating too much. Still, it is heartbreaking to see that fear in him. And S (age 3) sees his older brother worried and begins to worry, too. Will there be enough?

Language deprivation (a syndrome that frequently affects deaf and hard-of-hearing children not given sufficient access to language during the critical window for acquisition) can make it difficult to understand or remember abstract concepts, so my latest strategy is Sharpie-ing little “Ks” on the snacks he wants to save, together putting them on a counter or shelf where he can keep an eye on them. Then I say, “don’t worry, there is plenty for everyone.” One day, I hope those words—and the time-tested knowledge that he is safe here— will be enough to quell his fears.