A bloke called Paulie Wax SMSed me the other day with a request I thought might be bloody helpful to you lot. (Recently finished Downton Abbey, so buckle up.)
Could I help him expand his cooking repertoire now that he had rented an Upper East (and I mean east) Side apartment and was itching to entertain?
LIKE, OF COURSE! But where was he at in the kitchen?
Some context: Paul is a keeper. A very good boy. So demure, but so stylish (current vibe: couture Pokémon trainer). A Queens native as comfortable attending a runway show as making small talk with any loosie salesman in the five boroughs. As likely to issue a scholarly paean to the leather jacket as he is “Moon River” in French. Add to all of that unwavering grace under pressure (he was briefly a paparazzo), a joie de vivre bordering on reckless abandon, and an arcane knowledge of New York City—including the forgotten bootleg anime markets of Chinatown—and you’ve got Paulie Soup.
How much do his friends love him? When my partner moved into my tiny one-bedroom in Flatbush, so, for complicated reasons, did Paul. He needed somewhere to crash for a month, and (believe it) we were sad to see him go.
You understand why I answered the call.
My qualifications? Few. Sure, I worked at Bon Appétit during the golden age of racial capitalism you heard about on the podcast that also fell apart because of some racial capitalism. But my job was to lay out magazine pages and make other non-food things (one time with Emeril). The only time I published a recipe, it was and still is missing half a can of chickpeas.
Sometimes dinner guests are like, “Wow, you worked at Bon Appétit?? Can’t wait to see what you made,” and, to mitigate their expectations, I, basted in oven sweat, have to kick open the saloon-style kitchen door and scream, “AS A GRAPHIC DESIGNER!!!!!!!”
All that said, my partner and I have entertained enough now that what I sent Paul might be useful if you 1) are just starting to cook often and want to make cooking for yourself and others a big part of your life or 2) already cook a lot and want to expand your kitchen repertoire with some fun, intuitive moves.
Here’s the advice I gave Paul, lightly edited. Hope it helps xx
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Gyeran Bap
A Korean rice + fried egg dish often served with nori and easily dressed up with nori, sesame oil, soy sauce, and pretty much whatever you’ve got on hand. This Eric Kim version is dead easy, very satisfying, and not heavy. If you remember to get your rice going like 30 mins before you want to eat (set a timer while you're doing other things), you can make a meal for 1-4 people in about 5-10 mins. Just scale up the recipe for every additional diner. A good dish to learn the importance of temperature alchemy: it’s infinitely better when you mix still-warm ingredients and wilty seaweed.
Roasted veggie and white bean salad
Samin Nosrat’s salad-as-a-meal isn’t super quick, but it’s great for learning to improvise because almost nothing in it is essential: you can swap almost any of the veggies and herbs based on what’s in season or in your fridge. Having to take delicate veggies out of the oven before others will reveal how much the heartiness (and thus the cook times) of ingredients vary, and it'll help you develop “Is this ready?” instincts. Plus you should always have za'atar, a Levantine spice mix, on hand: it goes well with eggs, fish, veggies, yogurt, soup, meat, salad, literally anything. It’s hard to overuse, and it will instantaneously make your food more interesting. Don't skip it!
Canal House books
Hard recommend for these little books. Canal House (also a restaurant in Milford, NJ) is a project of two of the former top people from Saveur. The books are full of recipes and cottagecore erotica about stuff like discovering a field of chanterelles and making mushroom ragu. Below are a few Italian appetizers from one issue. I like these dishes because they recombine the same 3-4 ingredients to great effect, and thus will teach you both how to cook without thinking and how to start stocking your kitchen so that you're prepared to cook at any time.
BA’s pork chops (shoutout Claire and Meryl)
A fast, unfuckuppable pork chop you can combine with almost any meal (probably not too different from your (Paul’s) steak method, and you don't even need to make the herby sauce). The sugar trick was a wake-up call for me to understand the thermodynamics of cooking: browning… sealing in juices… continuing to cook while resting in a hot pan… lotta good in stuff here.
Overnight oats (shoutout JJB)
I was sick as a dog a few weeks ago, yet I rolled out of bed and in minutes was eating almondy oats with coconut flakes, fresh persimmon, walnuts, and grated nutmeg. Simply divine. How? 1) Soak rolled oats overnight in enough milk/orange juice/almond milk/oat milk/etc. that the liquid rests just underneath the height of the oats in a container (glass is ideal). If you like dried fruit, chop some up (or use whole raisins) and stir in before the soak—they’ll soften or plump up beautifully overnight. A little dried cinnamon or fresh grated nutmeg will give it some warm undertones, but you can dust the oats right before serving if you forget, too, for a brighter spicie. 2) The next morning (the mixture should remain not-too-soggy for a couple days), chop fresh fruit and nuts to accompany, and mix with a few big scoops of oats and a squirt of agave syrup, maple syrup, or honey. BEING PREPARED means good eating is just around the corner.
Manhattan
When entertaining (especially romantically), few tricks as immediately impress as a great drink on the fly. Learn two or three dead simple cocktails by heart. To make them even easier, start thinking in terms of ratios instead of amounts: A great Manhattan is simply some rye or bourbon with about half that amount of red (or “sweet”) vermouth, all stirred in a container of ice until the container feels cold in your hand. Strain it, and garnish with a fancy cherry or an orange peel. (Only keep small bottles of vermouth on hand, so that they’re fresh and you can keep it in your fridge (it’ll be freshest for about a month) between drinks.). You can easily find a cocktail jigger with a 1½ oz side and a ¾ oz side, perfect for not getting your guests too sauced, imo.
Martini
Use the same method as above, but with gin or vodka instead of whiskey, and dry (or “French” or “white”) vermouth instead of red. A drier martini will use even less vermouth (try a little splash). I prefer gin—Hendricks if it’s available—and a lemon twist. Have some good Castelvetrano or Manzanilla (or Picholine if you’re nasty) olives on hand for snacking or making dirty martinis, but don’t overdo the splash of olive juice: you’ll muddy the elegance of the drink.
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On the way out: if you’d like to seek professional help in the kitchen, I thoroughly recommend my pal Marian Bull’s recently resuscitated newsletter Mess Hall. Equal parts fun and smart, and the munch is capital, bruv. Still thinking about the Pasta Gemma a couple weeks ago: it completely turned around a bummer of an evening.
Ciao, mi scrappizzi. xx
Alex
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