#85: "the gnome’s intentions are never good"
Welcome to issue #85 of THIS NEWSLETTER CANNOT SAVE YOU, where we fearlessly face the onslaught of slop and sift for treasures worthy of whatever glimmer of attention you’ve got to spare. Today’s episode definitely lands solidly in the middle on the “pretty-good-o-meter” if I do say so myself. Why gee, we’ve even got a complimentary, apropos of absolutely nothing “meme” to kick off the proceedings:
I don’t know why we should praise it! It’s a testament to the format that I simply don’t care! And on that delightfully random note, let’s begin!
Scottovision
“Amok” (2022) - A hapless man spends his entire life pursued by a malevolent Santa Claus gnome in this animated short film from writer/director Balázs Turai. Despite its seeming affection for the man, the gnome’s intentions are never good, and the man’s love life is not the only thing that suffers greatly. The animation is wild and unpredictable, especially as we begin to question the actual identity of the gnome. Terry Gilliam is listed as an executive producer; not surprised to see that he supported such an inventive work.
“Anesthesia” (2025) - In this sci-fi short film, the Black Mirror-esque premise is that a Silicon Valley CEO is forced to confront hard facts about himself as presented by an AI masquerading as his mother. Oh, and he’s under anesthsia during alla that. It’s got a fun twist that may be a little on the nose, sure, but as far as I’m concerned, a little anticapitalism is always soothing. Written by John Harden, directed by Jeff Osborne.
“Basketball Explorer Presents: The Shot Doctor” (2025) - “An instructional video to fix your jump shot and absolve your sins.” This extremely funny animated short film takes basketball to new depths of despair and nihilism, then Satan shows up. From Moon County.
“Bday Private Dick” (2026) - Comedian Nick Thune stars in this short film about a guy (Nick) who gives himself the birthday present he’s always wanted: he hires a private detective (John C. Reilly) to tail him around town. The film manages the trick of being absurd and deadpan at the same time.
“can you hop on a quick call?” (2026) - Newsletter favorite Erin Murray wrote & directed this disturbing and hilarious look at the future of teleconferencing. You’ll never guess how many tentacles will be involved!
“Deneb” (2026) - Director and animator Jules Guérin (creator of the wondrous A Shaman’s Tale) delivers “a cosmic creation myth told through tears, stars, lovers, serpents, and birth.” An intricate, seemingly photorealistic animation style takes us on a psychedelic journey from beyond the cosmos through the Garden of Eden and onward. I was floored at how pretty the experience was, and instantly motivated to start scanning through more of Guérin’s back catalogue of work.
“Capitalism” (2026) - “Independent grunge-noir project” Katia Pojidaeva recently released her second single, and the accompanying music video is “a sarcastic satire on the modern world and the massive machine called ‘Capitalism’.” You can only squeeze so much societal critique into a six minute running time - unless, of course, you’re leaning on a skilled troupe of dancers to get the message across.
“Don’t Touch” (2026) - Sometimes what you need is sexy and stylish dancers being sexy and stylish in a dive bar. It’s a simple formula, and I for one stand by it. From the band Love Spells and their new album Love Is The Law.
“Municipal Relaxation Module” (2022) - A man’s obsession with adding a park bench to the side of an inocuous stretch of highway reaches impressive heights, all via the archaic medium of voicemail messages, in this short film by Matthew Rankin. If you’ve ever felt frustration at your local authorities for ignoring your pleas for civic improvement, this might be for you; if you haven’t, this is still pretty funny stuff.
“The Memo” (2025) - This short film dramatizes the events surrounding a stern memorandum sent by talk show host Steve Harvey to his staff, which coincided with his staff’s attempt to throw him a surprise birthday party. Hijinks, as they often say regarding situations such as these, ensued.
Exit Music
Sending you out this issue with a pair of radio shows hosted by electronic music producer William Orbit, who passed away in the time since I sent my last newsletter. In 1996, Orbit hosted a radio show on KCRW called Stereo Odyssey: “a musical journey of sounds and words with eclectic improvisations of reggae, dub, movie voice overs, live recordings and previously unreleased material.” Last year, he posted two half-hour episodes for your listening enjoyment (if you scour the internet, you might be able to find the others). I used to carry these shows around on my MP3 player and they’d pop up on shuffle and I’d magically get a half hour of unpredictable goodness; glad they finally surfaced on Orbit’s official channel.
Here's the YouTube playlist with (some of) this issue's recos. Please enjoy responsibly. Be advised that most of this issue’s recos are only available on Vimeo, and are not included in this YouTube playlist.
Until next time, I remain your friendly correspondent, thinking of you,
Scotto
Scotto Moore is the author of WILD MASSIVE, BATTLE OF THE LINGUIST MAGES, and YOUR FAVORITE BAND CANNOT SAVE YOU.
See also:
Salvia Trip Report: Lived 15 Years as a Ceiling Fan
and
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