#79: "high priority missive"
Welcome to issue #79 of THIS NEWSLETTER CANNOT SAVE YOU. It’s the first issue of 2026! Sorry for my belated delivery of this high priority missive. One thing I can say for sure: it’s never too late for this old holiday chestnut:
Scottovision
“Bohemian Rhapsody” (2026) - CDK Company, the dance troupe that brought you the viral dance film set to “Somebody That I Used To Know” back in 2024, has delivered a new dance film set to this classic rock track. Many times when Queen music is used in a project like this, someone will ask, “What would Freddie think?” In this case, he’d likely be delighted; he flirted with dance himself, as you can see in the back half of the music video for “I Want To Break Free,” where he performs alongside members of the Royal Ballet. Choreographer and director Sergio Reis breaks the movement into dazzling pieces, slicing and dicing for film in a way that mirrors the unfolding nature of the song. The main complaint? Closing credits coming in far too soon.
“Bibi’s Dog Is Dead” (2024) - A woman goes to hilarious extremes to try to convince her ex-boyfriend to reestablish meaningful contact in this wild short film from director/co-writer Shervin Kermani and co-writer/star Bryn McAuley, whose over-the-top histrionics carry the day. She’s a comic whirlwind, pivoting from mood to mood in the blink of an eye, trying every tactic in the book to woo her ex and a few more that seemingly come from outer space.
“Einvik’s Curse” (2025) - Director and animator Anthony F. Schepperd, as I’ve mentioned before, is the mind behind the epic psychedelic music video “The Music Scene” by Blockhead. His latest epic music video, for a track by the band Arkana, depicts a stranded astronaut who has crashed on a strange world, and is swept up into the medieval-tekno-political shenanigans of the planet’s violent society. It’s not a linear narrative so much as a series of dreamlike vignettes, but the cumulative effect is surreal and, yes, psychedelic.
“Brett Was A F*ck” (2024) - As a quartet of frat brothers come together for a reunion, a police officer investigating a noise complaint suddenly adds a hell of a lot of tension to their lives. This is a surprisingly tight and entertaining murder mystery that keeps you guessing until the final frames, and the acting is remarkably good throughout. Not my typical preferred genre, but I got a kick out of htis one. Directed by Keith Rubin and Lauren Sowa, written by Rubin.
“Kino Kopf” (2024) - Told from the perspective of a sentient VHS camcorder, this compelling short film presents its memories as a stream of consciousness flow, from its birth/invention by its “parents” to its ultimate fate, narrating the tale in a dry voice that belies the emotional journey of birth, life, and eventually, abandonment to obsolescence. Written and directed by Jack Cosgriff.
“Martyr’s Guidebook” (2024) - When young Jack is given a compliment about his conscientious behavior, he inadvertently devotes his life to helping others; and his live-in guardian angel is right there to encourage him. A funny and heartfelt experimental animated short film written and directed by Maks Rzontkowski.
“Chaz Dean’s Billboards” (2025) - Fashion figure Chaz Dean runs billboards featuring himself all over Los Angeles, and they’re apparently a minor phenomenon (albeit a strange one). This documentary short film gets up close and gets to know the man behind the very stylish mystery. He’s charmingly self-effacing and you quickly come to understand why his advertising campaigns work. Directed by Scott Lazer.
“A Dog That Smokes Weed” (2020) - In this appropriately recursive animated short film by Victoria Vincent and Jonni Peppers, a dog that smokes weed is asked to judge the merits of a television pitch about a dog that smokes weed. I dunno, it made sense at the time.
“Pillow Fortress” (2023) - Two one-time childhood friends meet again after decades apart, and discover that their memories of key childhood events are vastly different. The situation quickly transforms from delight to deep discomfort in this short film by director Zander Coté.
“The Cardinal And The Computer” (2024) - Okay but imagine that AI is not a ruinous nightmare for society. This short film asks the question: what happens when an AI gets religion? Specifically Catholicism - what happens when it wants last rites before its pending deactivation? The Cardinal is the face of moral complexity in a story that manages to build sympathy for something utterly alien to us, while still acknowledging that appearances aren’t always what they seem. Directed by Scott Fitzloff.
Exit Music
Sending you out this issue with an unexpected cover of the classic electropop anthem “Such Great Heights” by the Postal Service, performed here as a surprise one-off single by Slow Magic & Kenneth Takanami. The cover shaves off a layer of sheen from the original, delivering a crunchy, dense, and percussuive take on the track. I’m a sucker for good covers, and this one competes with the Ben Folds version; Ben Folds can obviously play the hell out of a piano, but these boys can make computers go “ernch ernch” really fast, so it’s a toss-up in my book.
Here's the YouTube playlist with (most of) this issue's recos. Please enjoy responsibly.
Until next time, I remain your friendly correspondent, thinking of you,
Scotto
Scotto Moore is the author of WILD MASSIVE, BATTLE OF THE LINGUIST MAGES, and YOUR FAVORITE BAND CANNOT SAVE YOU.
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