#54: "i'm sorry, officer, i didn't know i couldn't do that"
Welcome to issue #54 of THIS NEWSLETTER CANNOT SAVE YOU, a bastion of human curation in the midst of an algorithmic onslaught, a tiny beacon of counterprogramming against the trendsetting machines that groom us to like what our corporate overlords want us to like at the expense of reason and taste. Someday large language models, after gorging on the public corpus at the behest of their profane caretakers, may well produce recommendations like the ones I offer in each issue of this lonely newsletter. But until that unholy day, our vigil is ceaseless; we curate because we care.
Or some shit. I mean, whatever.
Anyway, here are some things you could look at if you felt like it.
Scottovision
“Regular Rabbit” (2023) - Animator Eoin Duffy returns with another entry in the “well, that escalated quickly” genre (his film The Missing Scarf, narrated by George Takei, also qualifies). This is the tale of a perfectly normal and generally regular rabbit who is also, if rumors are to be believed, a mass murderer. Superbly voiced by Rory McCann (the Hound from Game of Thrones).
“Self Control” (2023) - At long last, Laura Branigan’s 1984 hit song has been given the dramatic spoken word reinterpretation by an absolutely ripped blue “trans-dimensional Supermonster” hanging out in a strip club that it has always deserved. Directed by David Wilson, who’s delivered iconic videos for the likes of Arcade Fire and Tame Impala.
“Starburster” (2024) - In the new music video from post-punk band Fontaines D.C., a young footballer chases a loose ball into the wrong garage, stumbles into a strange fashion scene, and inadvertently unleashes several overlapping and conflicting narratives that unfold simultaneously. Directed by Aube Perrie.
“Sucks To Be The Moon” (2024) - Adult Swim offers up this animated short film about that time when the Moon, jealous of the Sun’s popularity, decided to leave orbit and head off into space, hoping to find friends. But this solar system is not a safe place for the naive. Written & directed by Tyler March & Eric Paperth. Oh, and it’s a musical, with Rob Tanchum (creator of the classic tune “Mary-Kate and Ashley”) providing the songs.
“Death And Ramen” (2023) - From the official description: “On his final night alive, a ramen chef goes on an unintended late night odyssey with the Grim Reaper.” This short film from Hong Kong filmmaker Tiger Ji veers from slapstick to sincere, making a stock character like Death seem three-dimensional and bringing emotional stakes to the ill-fated ramen chef’s last moments.
“Choco Hoax” (2023) - The premise here is that they’ve made a chocolate bar without using chocolate, but they’re going to sell it as chocolate anyway because who cares. Ostensibly a parody of disinfo marketing and “greenwashing,” this film is a glorious mess of bad jokes and scenery chewing, barely hanging together like an episode of The Price is Right on LSD. Written & directed by Alice Fassi.
“Of Woods And Seas” (2023) - In this music video for ambient / experimental artist Alaskan Tapes, a man’s life is illuminated - literally - by a glowing orb that transports him outside of himself, where he can view his relationship with his son from an unexpected and recursive vantage point. Written & directed by Andrew De Zen.
“Monsieur Cok” (2009) - An unscrupulous factory owner is confronted by his most disgruntled worker in this dystopian steampunk parable, a surreal animated short film by Franck Dion set in a world where it’s cheaper to use people as ammunition than to send them off to use ammunition.
“Donkey” (2023) - A struggling actor rushes to the hospital to be with his dying father. Also, he is in costume & makeup as Shrek. Written & directed by Matt Kazman.
“A Bloody Mess” (2023) - Filmmakers Josefin Malmén and David Strindberg, otherwise known as BABYBABY, wrote & directed this horror-comedy that quickly transcends its initial Walking Dead vibe to become weirdly funny and dangerously meta. As the layers of the film’s reality are peeled back, even the filmmakers themselves are at risk from their own creation.
Exit Music
Sending you out this issue with the track that first introduced me to the band Fontaines D.C.: “A Hero’s Death (Soulwax Remix),” featuring strangely inspirational spoken-word lyrics - indeed, the chorus “life ain’t always empty” (with its tacit acknowledgment that sometimes life is empty) feels oddly hopeful in a way.
Here's the YouTube playlist with this issue's recos. Please enjoy responsibly.
Until next time, I remain your friendly correspondent, thinking of you,
Scotto
Scotto Moore is the author of WILD MASSIVE, BATTLE OF THE LINGUIST MAGES, and YOUR FAVORITE BAND CANNOT SAVE YOU.
Nothing Is True, Everything Is Permitted / We Should Exterminate All Rational Thought