#4: "secret magnum opus"
Welcome to issue #4 of THIS NEWSLETTER CANNOT SAVE YOU, coming to you straight from my virtual office right here in the METAVERSE. I like it here. It's nice.
(Pictured: Scotto composing this newsletter from within the METAVERSE.)
Highlights from Scottoworld
Pictured above: anonymous human posing with a galley of my book for my publisher’s Instagram and such. It’s a bit unnerving to see these copies out in the wild. Due to quirks of the publishing calendar, I made improvements to the manuscript while these advance review copies were already in transit to reviewers and influencers. Insert shrug what can you do emoji here. (I think the answer is “don’t make substantive changes during what’s supposed to be just a copy edit” but I’m a newb, what do I know.) The book is out January 11.
Speaking of advance reviews, Kirkus is giving the book a starred review in its upcoming 12/1 edition, calling it “a madcap adventure of magic and mayhem” and “glitter-bombed popcorn fiction at its finest.” Nice to see “mayhem” used properly, although its alternate subcultural usage as a codeword for nefarious psychedelic activities also captures the spirit of the book to some degree. You can learn more about the book over at scenic Scottoweb, and perhaps place a preorder from there if the stars are in alignment etc.
I recently committed an act of content creation that I feel obliged to share: a three-minute short film assembled from stock footage, entitled “Discoball Party,” named after - wait for it - the keywords “Discoball Party” that appear in the filenames of most of the footage. I originally thought it would make good fodder for my new Tumblr, Fuck Yeah Posing With Disco Balls, but I had to admit the finished short film is too slapstick to fit the extremely understated (or perhaps even undetectable) humor of the Tumblr. Not too slapstick for this newsletter, however, which is by definition an aesthetic free-for-all. Anyway, yeah, really making the most of my spare time here in my extended personal lockdown.
Scottovision
Here are some video artifacts you may enjoy:
“Prada/Rakata” by Arca (2021) - This was the beautiful bombshell of the past couple weeks, a music video co-conceived by Fredrik Heyman, a 3D animator/director, and Arca, an experimental electronic musician. It’s so striking that I can only really compare it to the last time these two collaborated, on Arca’s video for “Nonbinary.” You might’ve heard Arca’s work without knowing it; she co-wrote and co-produced much of Björk’s Vulnicula and Utopia albums, EP2 by FKA twigs, and chunks of Kanye’s Yeezus. I first encountered Heyman as a director on a simple but pleasingly surreal video called “Value” by Visionist, and he’s worked with Lady Gaga and commercial brands like Nike and Burberry, but Arca seems to have fully taken advantage of his visionary style and skill. Arca released artist statements for the “Prada” and “Rakata” segments of the video (two tracks from her upcoming Kick ii album) that are vastly more eloquent than any reductive description I might attempt, but I’ll attempt a description anyway just for practice: it feels like an unwittingly immersive tour of a monstrous technological dreamscape where a crucible for transforming identity and soul has been commandeered by an aesthetic shaman who may or may not have the viewer’s best interests in mind. Or something. Anyway, three thumbs up.
“Spurt” (2018) - Created by Cool 3D World for the Adult Swim “Smalls” series of short films. Between “Smalls” and “Off The Air,” Adult Swim is a major commissioner of short form surrealism, comedic or otherwise. C3DW, meanwhile, are premiere purveyors of animated strangeness; as one YouTube commenter points out, their films operate according to an alien logic that produces obvious narrative consistency, even if that narrative is completely incomprehensible to us. Periodically one of their films, like “Rollerskate” or “Foot Massage,” will bubble up to the culture’s awareness and approval, but much of their stuff - like “Once Upon A Pretzel” or “Earth & Moon” - is a little too unsettling to circulate at that level. After a recent comprehensive review, I’m convinced that “Spurt” is C3DW’s secret magnum opus, a metaphysical quest parable glittering with arcana and totems of pure subconscious mystery, an expertly contrived blend of innocence and malevolence.
Oreo’s Super Important Test (2013) - I recently stumbled across a production house called Fatal Farm, and discovered they’d created a series of clips for an old Oreo campaign called the Super Important Test: which is better, cookie or cream? You would apparently choose one or the other on a website, and then a short clip would play rewarding you for your choice. Wieden & Kennedy commissioned 52 videos from 12 production companies to circulate on this now-defunct site, and Fatal Farm’s hilarious contributions are still up on their Vimeo account. Watching all 52 videos in one sitting will cost you about twenty minutes, which most of the YouTube commenters agree is time well spent; this was edgy comedy in 2013, and it’s still fresh today. My favorite among Fatal Farm’s clips are “Dancing Cowboys,” “Pool Party,” and of course, “Horse Sax.”
“Our RoboCop Remake: Scene 27” (2014) - While perusing Fatal Farm’s Vimeo account, I noticed they’d also contributed a scene to a crowdsourced remake of the 1987 version of RoboCop. Crucially, this project was not a shot-for-shot remake, but rather a “scene-by-scene retelling.” Filmmakers were given latitude to reinterpret the source material as long as they landed the key plot beats. Fatal Farm’s over-the-top contribution is stunningly gory and freakishly funny. I haven’t watched the full version of “Our RoboCop Remake” yet; my “thing” is short form stuff so it’s hard to make time for a full-length feature film these days. But here’s a trailer if you’re interested.
“Colors and Shapes” by Mac Miller (2021) - Director Sam Mason delivered this mesmerizing music video about a puppy dog dreaming a grand adventure. Stellar animation brings the canine protagonist to convincing life amidst perilous waters and menacing foes, and the video doesn’t tie itself neatly into a bow at the end; for all we know, that dog is still floating on a bed out there in the dreamtime. The track is from a 2014 mixtape by Miller called Faces, which his estate recently re-released; Miller’s fans have been impressed with how his family has respectfully handed his discography since he passed away of an overdose in 2018 at the age of 26. This video is a deeply-felt addition to Miller’s catalogue.
(Pictured above: an RCA solid state portable TV, probably from the XL-100 line circa the late ’70s. More importantly, the TV is showing the title screen for the 1961 film Nude On The Moon, which IMDB describes thusly: “A rich rocket scientist organizes an expedition to the moon, which they discover is inhabited by nude women.”)
Recently on Things That Cannot Save You
Follow the links for the full experience:
CLEAR & CONCISE BRANDING FOR YOUR INVALUABLE LOCAL BUSINESS CANNOT SAVE YOU
COMPRESSING YOUR SHOPPING DOWN TO A MINIMUM OF TRIPS CANNOT SAVE YOU
From my Lovecraft parody blog Things That Cannot Save You, a catalog of your doom
Ethereal Selections
Enjoy a few contemplative pieces, provided as a contrast to the seemingly anarchic tone of my earlier video suggestions.
“Genesis“ (2016) - An exceptionally pretty depiction by animator Phil Bonum of the universe’s metaphorical origins as a single droplet of light that emanates reality into being.
“Volans” (2014) - Written, directed, and scored by Murat Sayginer. This is the opening sequence to a longer film called “The Flying Fish“ - a tale of a flying fish, you see, and here we see the fish begin its “transition to a new era.”
“Re” by Nils Frahm (2014) - Directed by animator Balázs Simon. A lone stag seeks an escape from a steadily shrinking world.
“Triptych“ (2020) - A three-act short film by Sergey Maslov that explores his ideas regarding astrophysics via aesthetics.
“Yakuno Jitsugetsubushi“ by Wednesday Campanella - Directed by the powerhouse duo Sojiro & Eri, this music video - its title translates as “Mid-autumn festival” - transforms singer KOM_I from a woodland nymph into a mountainous giant while other strange forest entities look on.
Closing Remarks
That’s it for this edition of THIS NEWSLETTER CANNOT SAVE YOU. We’re narrowing down on a formula here that’s so crazy it just might work. Before I go, please enjoy this animated gif of Britney Spears levitating a pair of flaming disco balls.
Like I said, the humor is almost undetectable.
Until next time, I remain your friendly correspondent, thinking of you,
Scotto