All day I think about it, then at night I say it,
Where did I come from, and what am I supposed to be doing?
I have no idea.
My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that,
and I intend to end up there.

from "Who Says Words with My Mouth" by Jalal Al-Din Rumi

Today is the last day of February, and so I have something to show you. I was talking to a few of my friends a couple of nights ago about February, and they all agreed it is the worst month. But this hasn't been my experience.

For me, February has historically been the month of something new emerging (which is why I have tended to celebrate Post Day in February). This February, the first thing is reviving this newsletter, which may seem a very small thing, but for myself inwardly, it is very big.

But there is another, actually big thing that I want to share with you today. Mind you, it is a prototype of the actual big thing, and so it also seems very small, and maybe unimpressive. But believe me, behind its plain facade lies an entire world. Worlds, even!

What I have to share with you today is a gift. It requires your time, should you choose to accept it. It also requires your patience, since today I am only sharing the very first part in a sequence of explorations. And finally, it requires your bravery and open-heartedness, since the thing we will be exploring is your actual life.

If you love to read deeply and broadly and have the capacity during this season in your life for doing more of that, you will probably want to accept this gift. If you enjoy reflecting on your life and digging into its depths for previously unknown or unacknowledged possibility (or find value in this kind of reflection, even if you don't enjoy it), you will probably want to accept this gift. If neither of these things are true for you right now, you have complete permission to leave this particular gift on the table.

There are a few guidelines for engaging with a prototypical gift of this sort. The first is to remember that it is unfinished and unpolished on purpose. The main purpose of this prototype is for me to get it into the world quickly so I can see if it actually does what I imagined in my head and heart that it might do. ("Quickly" being a relative thing; I worked on this for 6 months last year and then spent 6 months doubting that it was right, so it hasn't exactly been "quick" in the usual way we use that word.)

The second is to remember to be patient. My current idea is to release the next part in one week, which I am 90% confident I can do because it is 90% complete. The part after that is about 70% complete, so I think I can release it a week or two after that. The part after that is 50% complete, so it might take me 2-3 weeks after that to release it. But new learnings could change that timeline. If you are not a patient person, but you still want to accept the gift, you might want to wait until it's all released to do so. I will let you know when that is.

The third is to remember that feedback is like riches to me right now. I have spent way too long thinking about this and working through it by myself, and now it's time to see how others experience it. I am perfectly okay with it not being right for everyone, but I do want to make sure that what it is is right for the right people.

So now, without further ado, welcome to The Self-Taught Life!

With gratitude,

Sarah Avenir