Why Hello There
There’s too many words in my head lately.
Thinking about how my heart has been ripped out. She (but perhaps “she” would be “they” if they were around) never got to finish the song she was composing for me. He (soft queer boy, probably unhatched) coming back unexpectedly as the best Christmas present i ever had and the potential ruined by blood clots. scared that it will happen again without feeling their arms around me or the songs we would sing.
Feeling the need to expand. Stretch out. Reach out. But I feel my wings clipped. Adaptation only works for so many years before I forget how to move freely. And yet, today’s card is the 8 of wands, sudden movement. flying.
Becoming art. Creating art. This writing, the collages in my head and not on the paper quite yet. The ideas I have and the struggle to follow through. ADHD is a bitch. but how much is just me being scared. Putting myself out there, out here. (Who will read? who will care? who will support?)
Time for words finally and they don’t come. Second guesses here. What’s exactly my reasoning for this? For writing publicly? Hubris? or is it wanted? It’s so much easier to hide away and not interact.
I read the ones i follow. And the desire to write bubbles up. is there such a thing of too much writing?
(I added a donate button. feel free to buy me coffee or dinner or drinks and/or help pay my bills.)
heart,
kelly