February 25, 2022

I can never spell "pigeons" on the first try

Hello and Welcome back to my newsletter. Hope all is well with you in this world that seems to be a dumpster fire.

I hate February.
It’s too short and therefore messes with my sense of time and (because why would I ever be financially stable?) makes me anxious about money.
I’ll be happy when it’s April. March is just a February hangover.

I’m simultaneously surprised that I just started my spring semester and overwhelmed that I feel like I’m behind on my work. It doesn’t help that I’m turning 40 in 3 months. Cue my midlife crisis.

Which, mind you, in my happier moods I like to call "my midlife rebirth.” Granted that doesn’t happen very often, but it sounds good doesn’t it?

Part of this line of thinking actually came from my endless scrolling of Instagram’s Reels. There was one about this girl who decided that she was gonna “live like a main character.” Ya know, instead of a limited phrase under-developed NPC. Used to be an adventurer until I took an arrow to the knee. Or a fall down some stairs and tore my tricep off my elbow. Whichever.
But it hit a nerve. So I’m trying to say “yes!” to things. Like randomly going to the mall to check out a gaming store with someone I have never hung out with before outside of D&D or random virtual tabletop games. 1
Or RSVPing to random library/information science-type webinars. Or attending a virtual reading2 even though I don’t know the authors speaking at all, because why not? What else am I doing on a Friday night when I should be doing my homework?

There’s always a problem with attending anything. I was so close to saying “no. I’d rather not go.” But I went. It was a short reading (25 minutes or so) and I’m happy I went. Virtually, of course. Nothing in person just yet. At least, nothing that requires me to venture into Manhattan or beyond.
The problem with attending with knowing nothing of the authors beforehand is that my to be read pile3 grows.

I use a bullet journal. Or, I try to at least. I use it more for taking notes for class, but it is helpful when I need to remember something. Blah blah blah physically writing imprints it into the brain blah blah blah.
So the other day I wrote a 2 and a half-page list of everything that I want to do. Part future goals part daily to-do list. I’m less overwhelmed in my head.
It’s helping to a degree. I look at it every day to see if there is something I can cross off. There’s progress being made; I don’t have a deadline. I’ll cross everything off when everything gets done.

This is not to say I’m not still overwhelmed. I still just sit and scroll endlessly on my phone. Or play solitaire. Instead of saying watching a movie that I would like to see. Or reading either for school or leisure. Or putting together my lego Sesame Street set. Or a puzzle. Or a crossword.4 Or the art that’s running around in my head and is itching to come out because have you seen some of the collage stuff out there? My stuff is just as good if not better.

But it doesn’t count if I don’t do it.

I fall into bookmarking everything that I want to read but am annoyed at keeping the tabs open and then never reading the items.

Pigeon cultivation weds artistry.

But these items are so.freaking.interesting.

Vmail

Like what is this stuff even?

Currently Listening To:

Currently Reading:

Garrison Keillor would always sign off on his poem of the day with “Do good work.” And as problematic as we found Keillor to be, that phrase still stays with me.

Be well.

Do good work.

heart,

kelly