If there is one piece of advice I give a lot [and remind myself of often], it is based on this moment from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It is from a scene between Yolanda Hadid, almond advocate and my fellow Dutchwoman, and Brandi Glanville [don’t get me started]. I think about it every day. who is Adrienne Maloof in this world? [The actual context of the scene here is complicated, but basically Brandi is [as always] in the wrong here]

Still, this line applies to everything: any time you wonder why someone [undeservedly] has more success than you, or what so and so has said [or will, or could say] about you, or if you’re embarrassed about something you’ve said or done. It is the answer to everything: what will people say about my work / art / writing / life? Who cares? Really? In the larger scheme of things, in this world, who are they really? Do they matter? Why care so much about a person whose passive aggressive quip you’ve allowed to derail your entire day / mood / week?

(My reading of this scene is that when Yolanda says this it’s also about class, because at this point Yolanda is married to David Foster and she operates in a completely different universe, and really, in her world, who cares about Adrienne Maloof. But take that away, and it’s true: who cares?)

There is nothing better, more clarifying, than realising that while that person may think they matter in the little space they occupy around you, they don’t really matter in the world. No one knows them! No one cares! The world is a big place! I live in a very small city and no one knows or cares about any of the people who have ever annoyed me! They don’t matter here! Who were they ever really in this world?

[You can also say it in the Uma Thurman cadence of so?]

Now eat your two almonds. Or five!

Related: [From Lithub] This essay by Saleem Haddad on Real Housewives as a craft exercise is so good.