I am 100% Nick while cycling.

Saba learns to cycle, in stats:

Number of people I have confused/startled while biking: 3 (if not more)

Number of hedges I have skimmed past: 2

Number of people who laughed at my attempts to pedal: 2

Number of people who cheered me on: 2

Learning to cycle has been hard. I’ve found it hard for multiple reasons, but mostly the frustration of learning new things as an adult and having impossibly high standards for being able to pick up things. And I can’t shake the fear, though it has become slightly better, mostly because everyone around me is cycling. If I’m scared on a road and it is windy, I think, well, there’s a woman in front of me, she’s doing it! I can just keep going too! Also cars! They’re terrifying.

But Dutch people have been really invested in this journey: I was scooting home with my new bike — I could still barely pedal — and one guy on the road was determined to get me to just start cycling, not scoot my way. One day, I braked very close to a hedge and a woman came up, all concerned, and then when I told her that ik ben aan het fietsen leren she walked away and laughed as she recounted this to her companion. A neighbour in our old neighborhood sympathetically said nog niet? one day as I struggled to get started, when I cycled past his house later he waved me on. Another woman (!) said finally! as I cycled past her one day. How many people looked out their windows at the sight of me struggling to literally get my foot off the ground?

Of course, I probably look calm-ish on the outside (though I am sure I do not), and that’s deceptive: I have to be smart and be safe, because no one else can read what’s going on inside my head. I also live inside my head too much with cycling: I’m still wary of main roads and high volume traffic. In the beginning, when I cycled through Delftse Hout, I would sing out loud every time I got scared. (my apologies, plants, people for my off-key rendition of Lakdi Ki Kathi.) I know I just have to get started with making smaller journeys on main roads so I can actually cycle from town to city and so on. But every time I make a trip with my bike — to run an errand, to do circles on the square (whee! my favourite!) — I feel so much better about it. And I’m really looking forward to reading this book about cycling by Melissa and Chris Bruntlett, and really, really looking forward to cycling one day with a cup of coffee in my hand. (The dream!) Today I managed to signal with one hand. On the other hand, the one thing I have not learned yet is how to cycle in a summer dress on a windy autumn afternoon, which can make it very hard to tell if you live in a touristy town if people are staring at the ancient church or at your knees.