💛 Dear human,

How’s your heart today? Does it feel light? Heavy? Cautiously hopeful? Grateful… and restless?

You don’t need to hit reply. It’s okay if you haven’t checked in with your heart much lately. Maybe now is a good time? Consider this an invitation to try it. Whatever your answer may be, remember that you deserve to be heard and loved regardless of your answer.

I’ll give this a go, okay?

My heart is healing from some old wounds that resurfaced recently—notice the two-month gap between bulletin issues. I felt trapped in a cycle of emotions and memories for a long time. Eventually, I accepted that my body had lots of unprocessed trauma and I just let it be whatever it needed to be.

TL;DR: burnout is real and serious.

Ale has been wonderful through all of this. She recommended I try a few things and that included reading a book called Burnout. Every line I read validated my experience and explained why I was feeling this way. Most of us know what burnout is and how it feels, but do we know what defines it? Since sharing is caring, here’s some information on what I mean.

In 1975, Herbert Fredenberger coined ‘burnout’ as a technical term, defining it with three components.

1. emotional exhaustion: the fatigue that comes from caring too much for too long;

2. depersonalization: the depletion of empathy, caring, and compassion and

3. decreased sense of accomplishment: an unconquerable sense of futility: feeling that nothing you do makes any difference.

If this is something you’re experiencing, remember that you have people in your corner—myself included. I hope this bulletin issue hugs the parts of you that feel too burdensome to carry. Thank you for being here.

Read on, you brave human bean. 🥹

🎬 Behind the Scenes

This section is usually shares updates on my various projects and adventures, but I’d like to also include the things that just didn’t work out and how I cope with those uncomfortable “fails”.

In the last bulletin issue, I was really excited to share the launch of a workshop I called Vocal Craft: A Gentle Introduction to Pronunciation. Launching it felt like a huge step forward. I’m not sure if I should say “unfortunately” because it didn’t feel unfortunate to me—it felt more like I hadn’t done enough to get the word out, or perhaps a workshop of this sort isn’t what people need or want right now. Anyway, no one registered for it, and I didn’t know what to do next. Although I needed this to work financially, I accepted that while my intentions were in the right place, perhaps my messaging needed some work.

So, I’m taking a step back to rethink my approach, my work, even life itself. I’ve been learning Ruby for a friend’s project, which has been both a fun diversion and a gentle reminder that growth often comes from unexpected directions. There’s something freeing about being a complete beginner again—no expectations, just curiosity.

While I’m figuring out my next steps, I’m also being more candid about the support I need to keep this bulletin going. I have a fall book sale running right now, and I’ve created various membership tiers at my Ko-fi page specifically to help sustain this project. It feels VERY vulnerable to ask so directly for support 🫣, but that seems to be the theme lately—embracing the discomfort of being honest about where I am and what I need.

💎 Linguistic Gems

Because this section is close to my heart, I’d like to share a little story, a reflection, and a learning experience with you. Ready? Press ▶️

Jonas's Video:

📚 Book Nook

“In a world so quick to villainize us, to use us as weapons, what mark will we leave on the world? What will we do with the power we have? We always think we have given all we have, only to find out we haven’t scratched the surface. In ‘The Blood Orchid’ it’s a legacy made of blood.”

Utopia State of Mind

I would like to thank tía Carmen for sending me a copy of The Blood Orchid. It might not have seemed like a lot for her, but for me, this duology has been a lifeline. Zilan, the main protagonist—her feelings are all too familiar. Unbeknownst to her, her story is an important one. 🥺

If you ever feel like things keep going wrong and very little makes sense and you feel like you want to give in to the despair, I encourage you to read this duology. Fair warning: this duology is graphic in its descriptions of violence, but it’s just as colorful in how it describes human feelings and the experiences that pain us, bring us joy, and make us question, well, everything.

🎮 Game Corner

This an open world game with a difference, though, eschewing the familiar tactic of overpopulating the map with features and challenges in favour of wide open spaces full of natural beauty and its inhabitants. It feels like the idea is about discovering the character’s role in the world, as it is about shooting stuff. In this respect, Horizon is a game with a serious agenda, this is a character with questions and experiences that many players will relate to – despite the futuristic setting.

The Guardian

Something I try to bring up every chance I get is that I haven’t been a gamer for long. I started with the basics and fell in love with lots of indie games I came across. Playing Horizon felt like such a distant thing, you know? Now that I’ve finished Zero Dawn, my belief stands strong: gaming is for everyone.

Everyone deserves the chance to play, regardless of age, gender, language, or disability. And if you play a game, whichever game it may be, know that you’re already a gamer in my eyes. 😉

🔍 Curated Discoveries

Just like the healing process, this song doesn’t rush. You find yourself enveloped in the vintage charm of this cassette recording, put under a spell by Janine’s vibrato-laden vocals, when the song fades all too quickly. The ethereal whisper/sound of the theremin lingers in the air, leaving you in a state of reverie and nostalgia, as if gently tugging at your chest.

Bandcamp

Black Sea Dahu is the project of singer-songwriter Janine Cathrein, whose recent social media story really hit home for me. Just a couple of days ago, she shared something that felt like looking into a mirror. I’ll paraphrase: The band is preparing to release new music, and Janine is already feeling burned out. She’s hoping all this work will be worth it, but she can’t stop thinking about the whole circus that comes with getting music out into the world—what she calls a burnout machine. What really got to me was her admission that it’s hard to believe anybody is actually waiting for their new music. That doubt about whether anyone cares about the creative work we put out there? I feel it too.

Despite all this, she’s hoping things can stay afloat to live another day, month, year. We need this raw honesty in a world that expects creatives to constantly promote themselves while pretending everything is fine. I invite you to check out Black Sea Dahu’s beautiful music. The vulnerability in Janine’s words translates into her songs, and I promise you’re in for a treat.

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