Harriet Takes on Mr. Boddy in Her New Show, In the Conservatory, With a Knife
We caught up with Harriet (1) as she was enjoying a leisurely moment in her kitchen, where she was languorously enjoying the mid-afternoon sun. After a time away from the public eye, she invited us to discuss her new show on Netflix. She has plenty of intriguing things to say about coming back after internet disaster, her new role, and her favorite recipes. “You can’t let other people decide what you do,” she says, “you’re the only one who decides. You…you pick. It’s your way. Be yourself, that´s what I tell the kids.”
After that incident on Instagram (2), pundits were sure they’d heard the last of Harriet. What made you decide to come back?
To be frank I wasn’t planning to come back, but then Armando called with the offer to do Miss Scarlett on Conservatory, and I couldn’t turn it down. She was my very favorite when I played the game as a kid, you know? High moxie and all that, with the tailored dresses, the shoes.
After Amy Adams turned down the part, there was some surprise in the industry that you were willing to take it on.
[purses lips] Oh well, I wouldn´t characterize it that way. If anything, Amy—and I love Amy! But I don´t think that casting her would have been quite right, even though of course, she can play anyone. But let's be clear, I hold the Tao of Miss Scarlett.
The Tao of Miss Scarlett?
Yes, her philosophy and mine, they´re the same, one hundred percent [gives a knowing look]. Not many people know this, because they think of the whole Clue thing as being strictly a simple board game, but actually, and this sounds silly because you probably haven´t heard, but the whole story is actually an allegory of Eastern philosophy.
That´s true, I haven´t heard that. Please, tell us about it.
Oh yes [purrs a little]. You know all the characters, Professor Plum, Miss Peacock, et al.? Well, they, they—represent the elements of the universe.
Ok, so what are the weapons, like, the candlestick, the rope, and all the rest?
The weapons, not to say the obvious, are the manifestations of the Tao.
Sure, I can see that. Circling back to something you said a minute ago, what did you mean when you said you were the best choice to really capture the “Tao of Miss Scarlett”?
Yes, I mean I definitely share a certain well, a philosophy of sorts, with Miss Scarlett. I don´t want to introduce any spoilers here, but [strokes chin] I´d almost say we have a similar philosophy of murder, a heh heh, if you could call it that. Scarlett projects an image of a hot-blooded, impulsive woman of ill repute, if you will, but ultimately, she´s got a plan, a plot, some pretty clear criteria for when she will and when she won´t knock someone off, am I right?
I can see what you mean. How do you share her, uh, philosophy of murder?
Oh well, I certainly would never murder anyone. But, to play her character, I would definitely be a planner. I would have to have a good reason. It wouldn´t simply be a spontaneous decision.
Of course not. Speaking of which, I understand that you are just as calculating in the kitchen. You´re known to be a very accomplished cook.
Oh, I do all right, I like to have a good dinner party, have a few friends over for cocktails and small plates, that sort of thing. My favorite thing is to make a perfect tuna salad. Most people wrinkle their faces but that´s because they haven´t had it prepared the right way. You want to use fresh tuna, nothing from the can. And definitely no mayo. A little celery, a little parsley chopped very finely, and the secret to getting the texture just right is to sprinkle it with some bonito flakes, give it a little crispy, and that´s it.
Oh, so do you serve that on pasta, or toast, maybe?
No, just by itself is perfect, because everyone around here is low carb and gluten-free, but it´s filling, it´s just perfect. I really recommend it.
I´ll be sure to try that at home. Word is you´ve been seen around town with a new date. Care to tell our readers about how to be lucky in love?
[long silence] If I may be blunt, Dan, that´s a bit personal.
Of course, I´m sorry, I—[accidentally drops a wad of paper from pocket]
[Harriet drops to the floor and starts pushing the paper around, eventually dribbling it into the hallway and out into the stairwell. We were unable to reach her for further comment.]
(1) Who goes by her first name only.
(2) In December 2019, Harriet was broadcasting a video on Instagram Live when, unscripted, a mouse entered the scene and she reacted instinctively, sinking her teeth into its neck and then tossing it gleefully into the air without mercy repeatedly for 15 straight minutes before falling asleep on camera. A stunned audience unfollowed her en masse, but not before leaving a devastating record of public comments. “I don’t have regrets in life,” said Harriet. “This is just who I am. It wasn’t planned, but no, I don’t regret it.” Responding to a fan conspiracy theory that the mouse was planted, she said, “I think I’ve said everything there is to say about this.”
