Facebook Migratory Patterns
A Horoscope Timeline
2008: Year of the Sheep
You have been pushed onto the social network with promises of reconnecting with old friends and doing mash book quizzes.
2009-2011: Years of the Sloths
You kind of look at it occasionally but don’t do anything to speak of.
2012: Year of the Rabbit
You start posting clever memes you pick up from other accounts at least weekly. You bask in the sudden attention, the world is your oyster.
2015: Year of the Dog
Everyone’s parents decide to join, exponentially increasing the number of posts ending in “PRESS LIKE AND SHARE!!” or “PRESS LIKE FOR HIS BLESSINGS”.
2016: Year of the Badger
You were aware that you live in a racist country but not like that, damn. Wow, Aunt Sandy is talking about “thugs” in this year of our lord. And Mr. Bertnat, what the hell?
2017: Year of the Nightjar
After silently unfollowing roughly 75 people without confronting them about their antisocial views, you return to the site largely to commune with your friends who are too busy parenting to write emails and to cackle at Luis’ memes.
2021: Year of the Owl
What year is it? Really?
