An Orange Hippo is Dancing in the Attic
The past few days, I’ve woken up thinking: An orange hippo is dancing in the attic.
Because that is exactly what has happened. An orange hippo is dancing in the attic. I didn’t see it coming. As you can imagine, I’m unclear how to proceed.
To cope, I move my despondent bag of flesh from my bed to the couch downstairs and watch TV.
Watching TV is all I do now. Except for when I take care of these precious, unrelenting little dogs. This is because an orange hippo is dancing in the attic.
This orange hippo is dancing in the attic, so now I’ve watched many seasons of The Office in a couple days’ time. It’s a show I’ve never seen until the orange hippo came about.
An orange hippo is dancing in the attic, and now if I don’t watch at least four hours of The Office each day, I will freak the fuck out.
An orange hippo is still dancing in the attic, yet I am completely bought into Jim’s and Pam’s will-they-won’t-they relationship, just like everyone else. I imagine it’s rewarding to see these two finally marry. For my own viewing pleasure during shows like this, I like to think of what characters I can code as a lesbian. But you know what, Jim is not a lesbian. Pam is not a lesbian. These are the most heterosexual chumps I’ve ever seen in my life. This does not matter.
I cannot have anybody touch me, because an orange hippo is dancing in the attic during a pandemic. I don’t think I’d let them touch me anyway.
Because an orange hippo continues to dance in the attic, I permit only a few people and these little dogs to speak to me. Everyone else is my enemy. I don’t know why.
I’ve closed all the blinds downstairs because I do not want anyone to even think about looking inside this house. This is because an orange hippo is dancing in the attic and I can’t imagine making eye contact with another person right now.
I don’t know how to talk about the hippo with anyone once they find out this happened.
The worst part about suddenly having an orange hippo dance in the attic during a pandemic is that you can’t address the issue in all the usual ways. The protocol happens in fragments, or not at all.
Of course when I say there’s an orange hippo dancing in the attic, I mean that somebody I love has died. And it is absurd and incomprehensible.
•••
It's dumb
And I don't want to learn anything from this
I love you