On Meaning, Loss Aversion, and the Trap of Over-Optimizing
This month’s reflections explore how meaning creates resilience, how fear of loss shapes our choices, and why the drive to constantly improve ourselves can quietly become a trap.
Hey friends 👋
It's been a full and busy month on my end—partly because I’ve been away for the first part of my training to become a certified specialist in mediation.
I'm still processing a lot of it, but I’m excited to bring some of those learnings into my work (and maybe even this newsletter) over time.
In the meantime, here are a few reflections, favorites and small discoveries from the past weeks. Hope you enjoy!
🎥 YouTube Video: Unfortunately, my next video "The Real Reason You Never Have Enough Time" is delayed due to illness. I plan to publish it this Sunday though, so stay tuned!
✍️ New Blog Post: Misalignment: The Silent Burnout Factor
Exploring how burnout isn't always about overwork—it can stem from a deeper misalignment between our daily actions and core values.
Learnings, Reflections and Tips
Why Loss Aversion Holds Us Back
One psychological pattern that's been on my mind lately is loss aversion—the idea that losing something feels about twice as painful as gaining the same thing feels good.
A simple example: Imagine someone offers you a coin toss. If it lands heads, you win 100€. If it lands tails, you lose 100€. Even though the odds are perfectly balanced, most people say no. To feel comfortable, they'd want the reward to be at least 150€ or more. That's loss aversion in action: the fear of losing outweighs the potential excitement of winning.
This shows up in everyday life more than we realize—especially when we're deciding whether to take a risk. Whether it's starting a new project, investing in ourselves or making a big life change, our brains often overemphasize what could go wrong and underappreciate what could go right.
Something to reflect on: Are there areas in your life where fear of loss might be holding you back more than the actual risk deserves?
Walking Away from Depression
This might be a bit random, but I recently came across this rather click-baity article about a new study on movement and depression.
The study included over 96.000 people and found that walking more each day—even just a little—was linked to lower odds of depression. Compared to 5.000 steps, just 1.000 more steps per day correlated with a 9% drop in depression risk. At 7.000 steps, it was 31%, and beyond 7.500, up to 43%.
Now, this obviously doesn't mean depression can be "walked off".
Mental health is complex. But what this does suggest is that daily movement—especially walking—might be a powerful and accessible preventive strategy for mental well-being.
Because sometimes, small and consistent movement isn’t just good for your body—it might also quietly protect your mind.
Monthly Favourites
🎶 Song: Girl In The Year Above - Mama, My Heart Is Achin'
There's something about her voice and the vibe of the band that just made me hit repeat over and over again.
📚 Book: Benjamin Hoff - The Tao of Pooh
I didn’t expect that at 31 I’d be learning Taoist philosophy from Winnie the Pooh. But it's surprisingly accurate. Definitely a great read.
🥗 Recipe: No recipe in particular, but everything with asparagus (green, obviously) since there's only a narrow window in which it's seasonally available.
📽️ Video: Why improving yourself is ruining you
A thoughtful take on how the constant pressure to improve yourself can quietly become toxic when it turns into obsession, exhaustion and a fixation on what's "wrong" with us.
Book Club
As promised, I will share my top 3 insights from Man's Search for Meaning this time:
- "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how."
Frankl builds on Nietzsche's words to show how meaning creates resilience. When we feel a sense of responsibility—whether to another person or to unfinished work—we're less likely to give in to despair. It's a quiet but profound reminder: clarity of purpose can carry us through the hardest of times. - The rise of the existential vacuum
Frankl observed a creeping inner emptiness—an absence of meaning—that often shows up as boredom, apathy or chronic dissatisfaction. It's striking how relevant that feels today. Could some of our collective unrest stem not from doing too much, but from not doing what matters? - Suffering can hold meaning—but it's not a virtue in itself
Frankl makes a clear distinction: suffering may lead to growth when unavoidable, but to seek or cling to it unnecessarily is a form of self-inflicted harm. It's a sharp reminder of the power (and responsibility) we have to shift our perspective—or our situation—rather than staying stuck in stories that no longer serve us.
Interested in joining our book club?
Then hop into my Discord and check out the #book-club channel. We're currently reading Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman and will discuss it in early June.
Community Question
Have you ever caught yourself over-optimizing your life? What helped you step back?
This question was on my mind after watching the above mentioned video.
It's a powerful reminder that the drive to "be better" can sometimes become a quiet trap—where we're constantly fixing, tweaking, pushing—and forgetting to simply be.
If you've ever felt that tension, I'd love to hear your story.
Just hit reply. I read every message.
Thanks for checking in—see you next month!
Best,
Robin