Week 3: Relationships & Partnership

The Ones That Matter Most

This week’s plan isn't about managing all of your relationships. It's about the ones in your home. Your spouse. Your kids. The people who share your life, not just your calendar.

These are the relationships that matter most. And they're the hardest to plan for.

Lori and I are both dreamers. We have huge ambitions. We want to make a difference in the world. We both have bucket lists, travel dreams, and hobbies we want to pursue.

And we haven't even mentioned Miller yet.

What makes relationship planning different from everything else is that you're not painting your own canvas. You're sharing the paintbrushes with another artist.

Your styles differ. Your visions differ. Your timelines differ.

When you move toward one of your goals, you sometimes move away from one of theirs. When you pursue their dream, you might have to put yours on the backburner for a time.

That's reality.

You can and will create beautiful art together. But it won't look exactly like what either of you envisioned.

This framework doesn't fix that tension. It helps you navigate it.

The Framework

Strategic relationship planning has five parts:

1. Reality Check

2. Shared Direction

3. What's My Role?

4. How We Stay Aligned

5. Guardrails

Part A: Reality Check

As with all strategic planning, it starts with asking: Where is your relationship right now?

Strengths: What's working well?

Pressure points: Where is tension building for you? For her?

What you're navigating together: Career transitions? Young kids? Financial stress? Health challenges?

Write this down honestly. You can't plan where you're going without acknowledging where you are.

Part B: Shared Direction

What’s most important to understand is that this isn’t a permanent plan. 

You're agreeing on THIS year's priorities.

The question isn't "Are we perfectly aligned?" It's "Can we agree on what matters most this year?"

If yes, you have a plan. If no, keep talking until you do.

This removes the weight of forever. There might not be room for both of your dreams in this year’s plan, but it will help you find space for them long-term. Agree on a plan that makes both partners happy.

Three questions:

1. What are we optimizing for as a couple/family this year?

Pick 1-2 priorities maximum.

Not forever. Just this year.

Examples: One partner's career growth, financial stability, quality time as a family, building a business together.

2. What goes on the back burner for now?

This is where it gets hard. Someone's dream gets delayed.

You don't say "no." You say "not this year" or "let's talk about the timeline."

Examples: Home renovation waits until 2027. International travel gets backburnered until the kids are older. One person's side business launches first, then the other's.

Our rule: Never say "No." Always say "Not now," or "Instead of what?" or "How is that possible?"

This keeps dreams alive while managing reality.

3. What are we protecting at all costs?

What's non-negotiable no matter what else happens?

Examples: Weekly date night. Family dinners four nights a week. Each partner gets alone time. Sleep. Sanity.

Write these down. When life gets chaotic, these anchors keep you connected.

The reality: Your dreams aren't perfectly aligned. Add kids and it gets messier.

This framework doesn't fix that. It makes it visible.

And visibility creates space for negotiation. Not in the moment when you're stressed. Up front. On purpose.

Part C: What's My Role?

This section is about ownership. Ownership removes blame.

When you clearly define your role, you stop resenting your partner for not doing something they never agreed to do.

When they clearly define theirs, they stop feeling attacked for missing expectations you never made explicit.

Blame kills relationships. Ownership protects them.

In this season, what are you responsible for?

Support: How are you supporting your partner right now? (Examples: Covering more household tasks while they focus on a big project, handling kids' bedtime so they can work late, encouraging their goals)

Contribute: What are you responsible for in the household? (Examples: Cooking dinner, managing finances, kids' school stuff, yard work, car maintenance)

Protect: What do you need to stay healthy and sane? (Examples: Sleep schedule, alone time, morning workout, one night out with friends per month)

Write down your role. Then write down theirs.

Not to keep score. To eliminate assumptions.

The key: Roles flex. Sometimes life puts more on your plate. That's normal. That's why you have guardrails.

But when stress builds, you return to what you agreed on. Not what you assumed. Not what you hoped they'd figure out.

That's how you avoid resentment before it starts.

Part D: How We Stay Aligned

Relationships need two things: connection and alignment.

Connection happens through dates. Playfulness. Staying emotionally close.

Alignment happens through check-ins. Goals, finances, decision-making. Moving in the right direction together.

You need both. Dates without alignment and you drift apart while feeling close. Alignment without dates and you're business partners, not lovers.

Build rhythms for both.

Weekly connection: When do you connect with your spouse? With your kids? (Examples: Date night every Friday, 20 minutes with each kid doing something they choose, family game night on Sundays)

This might be hard to do every single week. Don't go longer than two weeks without it.

Weekly check-in: When? What do you discuss? (Scheduling, stress points, upcoming week)

Monthly alignment: Are we still on track with our priorities?

Conflict rules: Fights happen. Will they be sparring matches or strategic conversations?

Examples: No yelling, no shutting down, 24-hour cool-off before big decisions, we don't weaponize past mistakes.

Recovery after tension: What do you do to reconnect after conflict?

Family rhythms (if you have kids): When do you discuss schedules, needs, challenges?

Write down specifics. Times, formats, rules.

When life gets chaotic, these rhythms keep you aligned.

Part E: Guardrails

Even with a plan, things slip. Stress builds. Tensions rise. Someone drops the ball.

The key isn't avoiding those moments. It's catching them early and having a reset plan ready.

Red flags:

How do you know things are slipping?

Examples: Snapping at each other, avoiding conversations, no quality time for two weeks, one partner carrying too much.

Resets:

When red flags show up, what's your plan?

Examples: Schedule a check-in immediately, take one thing off each person's plate, ask for help, simplify the week.

Write this down now. When tension is high, you won't think clearly.

What This Creates

You're both holding paintbrushes, creating something together. Your styles differ. Your visions differ. That's okay.

This framework doesn't force you to paint the same picture. It helps you agree on what you're creating together this year and gives you a way to navigate the tension when your visions don't align perfectly.

When life gets hard and decisions get heavy, you don't guess. You don't hope. You don't resent each other for choosing differently.

You return to what you decided together.

The masterpiece you create won't look exactly like either of you imagined when you started. It'll look like something better. Something neither of you could have built alone.

That's what's possible when you plan together instead of hoping for the best.

What's Next

Next week: Work & Career Positioning.

Until then, work through these five parts with your partner.

Write it down. Get aligned.

See you Tuesday.

Run Your Life Like a Business: The Strategic Planning Series for 2026

This is Week 3 of 8. If someone you know needs to hear this, forward them this email.