My Extraordinary Birthday
My Extraordinary Birthday
The gratitude shift that changes everything
Yesterday was my 41st birthday. By most standards, the weekend was completely unremarkable.
My wife's car broke down on Friday morning, so instead of the day we'd planned, we spent hours dealing with mechanics and logistics. Our lunch was nice but nothing special. Just two exhausted people stealing an hour together after a brutal work week. That night, I fell asleep before my three-year-old son did, and my wife wasn't far behind.
Saturday brought tee-ball in the morning and a football game that wasn't even for me; it just happened to fall on my birthday. I watched Lori and her former sorority sisters frantically set up a tailgate nine minutes before kickoff while we husbands chased toddlers around the parking lot.
From an egocentric perspective, it might have been one of the worst birthdays I've ever had. But it fell smack in the middle of the best days of my life.
Instead of resentment, I felt overwhelming gratitude.
The Shift from Expectation to Appreciation
A few years ago, this weekend would have left me resentful. Where was my special day? Why wasn't anyone focused on me?
But somewhere along the way, I made a crucial shift from asking "What am I getting?" to recognizing "What do I have?"
Instead of complaining about the car breaking down, I felt grateful to have a day off to handle it. Instead of resenting the ordinary lunch, I appreciated an hour to daydream with my wife about our future. Instead of feeling ignored at the football game, I found entertainment in watching friends create chaos and laughter around me.
Your Ordinary Is Someone's Extraordinary
This weekend reminded me of something I try not to forget: my ordinary is probably someone else's extraordinary.
The job that stresses you out might represent security that someone unemployed desperately wants. The family responsibilities that exhaust you might be the connection that someone isolated would give anything to have.
I’m not trying to minimize your challenges or make you feel guilty for wanting more. I’m trying to raise awareness for you to see the abundance that's already present instead of only focusing on what's missing.
The Conscious Choice
Gratitude isn't something you feel. It's a choice you make. It's a conscious decision to notice what's working instead of only what isn't. To appreciate what you've built instead of only what you haven't achieved yet.
But it requires practice. Your brain is wired to notice problems, threats, and deficiencies. It's a survival mechanism that kept our ancestors alive. In modern life, this is problematic. This same wiring can keep you focused on everything that's wrong while missing everything that's right.
The practice is simple but not easy: regularly ask yourself, "What am I taking for granted that someone else would consider a blessing?"
The Compound Effect
When you start noticing what you already have, something interesting happens: you start feeling wealthy regardless of your circumstances. Not because your problems disappear, but because your perspective on them changes.
The exhausting work week becomes evidence that you're building something meaningful. The chaotic family moments become memories you'll cherish when they're older and life is quieter.
This shift doesn't happen overnight, and it doesn't mean every day feels magical. Some days are just hard, and that's okay. But when you develop the habit of looking for what's working alongside what isn't, you start living from abundance instead of scarcity.
The Richest Man in the World
Sitting in that tailgate party, watching Lori laugh with old friends while Miller pretended to play flip cup, I felt like the richest man in the world. Not because I have everything I want, but because I could finally see how much I already had.
The weekend that could have been disappointing became a reminder that I'm living in the middle of answered prayers I forgot I'd made.
What are you taking for granted that could become a source of gratitude?
Hit reply and let me know. I read every response.
This insight about choosing gratitude over expectation comes from learning to live consciously in ordinary moments. If this resonated, you might be interested in my upcoming book "Stop Lurking, Start Living." It’s about finding meaning in the life you're already building.
-Ricky