BYOV: The Shift That Changed Everything (And Nothing)

Eight months ago, I woke up at midnight and posted the cringiest video of my life.

"Stop. Bleeping. Lurking."

I was talking to myself. Calling myself out for drifting through a life that looked successful on paper but felt empty inside.

Eight months later, everything has changed.

And nothing has changed.

I still wake up at the same time. Still have the same job, the same responsibilities, the same 24 hours.

But what I'm doing with those hours is now completely different.

I'm writing daily. Planning weekend activities with my family. Taking on leadership at work. Helping out around the house more. Not because I suddenly found more time, but because I stopped treating time like something to survive and started treating it like something to direct.

What changed wasn't my circumstances. It was my attitude.

Instead of waiting for life to drop meaning and purpose in my lap, I decided to create my own.

Everything is nothing until I show up and make it something.

The workout. The conversation. The interruption. The ordinary Tuesday. None of it has inherent meaning until I decide it does.

This is what BYOV actually means: Bring Your Own Value to every moment. Not because the moment deserves it, but because you deserve to stop ghosting yourself.

The Practice (And The Traps)

This isn't about making every moment special. That's exhausting and impossible.

It's about recognizing that each moment has the potential to matter depending on where you choose to engage.

The more you engage, the more opportunities a day has to find its purpose.

But this philosophy has traps that most people fall into.

Trap 1: Expectations

You think you know what will make a day meaningful. You plan for the big moment, the important meeting, the special event.

Then you miss the hidden opportunities because they don't match what you expected.

The solution isn't lowering expectations. It's keeping an open mind while engaging with enthusiasm wherever you are.

Every interaction is a chance to build relationships, increase skills, or create memories. But only if you're present for them.

Trap 2: Anticipation

Anticipation is the enemy of presence.

When you're anticipating something you expect to happen, you rush through everything else. You skim through conversations. You hurry through work. You treat the present moment as an obstacle to the future you're waiting for.

Interruptions and unexpected obligations become complaints instead of opportunities.

But these moments—the ones you didn't plan for, the ones that disrupt your agenda—can become the most satisfying when handled with presence instead of resentment.

Trap 3: Missing The Gratitude

BYOV requires looking back each day with thankfulness for the opportunities you had. And they probably won't be what you expected.

If you weren't present, you missed them entirely.

Each challenge is an opportunity for growth. Each interaction is an opportunity for value.

But here's what most people miss: your role might be bringing value to others, not extracting it from them.

The meaning you create isn't always for you. Sometimes you show up so someone else's day can matter.

What Actually Changed

What actually changed is that I stopped living on autopilot.

The dead space I used to fill with scrolling, waiting, drifting—I started filling it with what actually matters.

I'm writing daily. Making plans with my family instead of hoping weekends work out. Taking on leadership roles instead of coasting. Helping around the house instead of just showing up.

Not because I magically found more time. Because I stopped trying to get through the week and started living for the day.

When you realize today is all you actually have—that you can't live in tomorrow—you start filling your days with what you want to do today.

That's what BYOV actually does. It doesn't change your circumstances. It changes your relationship to time.

The circumstances haven't expanded. Your presence has.

What moment are you treating like nothing that could become something if you actually showed up for it?

This work is meant to be reflective and shared. If you enjoyed it, let me know. I read every response. If you think someone else will enjoy it, please share!

-Ricky