Oh my god I am so hung over why do I do this to myself. El-Sayed kinda looks like Roy Kent doesn’t he? I have a cat named after Roy Kent. I have not watched the new season of Ted Lasso I am not sure we needed more Ted Lasso. Lisa Murkowski said she wouldn’t vote for Todd Blanche but all that meant is that the other guy — whatever his name is — um… oh god, the head pain the head pain… Bill Cassidy that’s it. Louisiana. All that meant was that Bill Cassidy was going to vote for him and sure enough, two hours later, Cassidy says he’s voting for him. It’s like these people think none of us read Master of the Senate or something. So tediously transparent fuck em all fuck em all. Imagine Lisa Murkowski supposedly being a good normal person and voting to confirm someone whose chief accomplishment in life is shielding a sex trafficker. This fuckin country, man, this fuckin country.

Watched The Odyssey last night with some bros (bro. bro? bro. I am a millenial. bro) and I m being 100% serious when I say the film needed about 20 more jokes. Might have been a great film then. I mean, it was definitely a good film — once you get over how many A-listers are in it and the lingering sense that the whole thing is a home movie filmed at a immersive summer camp for rich people. Also coulda used a Carrie Fisher polish on the script. When Memento came out, and honestly, even up through Inception you could argue that Nolan’s stilted dialogue served the film. But these dudes are ancient Greeks who speak in American accents and say things like “dad” and “okay”. And I am in support of that! But that means they can joke a bit? And there were like three jokes, so come the fuck on, man. Some of them were just sitting there begging to be made.

Not a bad film though. We watched it in 70mm, bro. Not IMAX 70mm, because WTF is up with that nonsense, but at least we got the aspect ratio right.

I am somewhat shocked at how much of The Odyssey I remember from being forced to read turgid and depressing shit in high school. Why do they make kids read shit like The Odyssey and Jude the Obscure in high school. Why the fuck don’t they, like, try and get kids to like reading books and let them read Dungeon Crawler Carl or something. Seriously my high school made me read a book where a young child commits murder-suicide on him and his younger sibling. The entire decade of the 70’s was child abuse.

At the end of The Odyssey there is this terrible-ass dialogue about the power of stories and the end of civilization and how it will rise again and I think we are supposed to maybe see it is a message for current times — things are dark but civilization will rise again.

But I did not see it that way I saw it as two people in ancient Greece thinking things were going to get better when they had the Crusades and the Black Death sitting in front of them.

Is modern society any good? I really like Diet Mt Dew and typing on a keyboard but man, sometimes I wonder.

I am dead. I cannot do anything. I regret everything.

That is a lie I had a nice bro down (bro? bro) with Seanny D at Highland Kitchen last night. It was so good. I regret it but also I absolutely do not regret it. From what I remember. Here are the notes I took when I got home:

Odyssey those people next to us at the bar and that cute bartender the VFX the gods the actors in The Hollywood thing the roadrunners ween that bartender Sean a nice thing too long bouchard leaving at a reasonable hour I didn't have to pee

God that bartender was so cute.

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I am not listening to any music right now. I am listening to the white noise of the air conditioner. I did just purchase music, though. It is Bandcamp Friday. I am trying to contain myself. I have purchased a Bikini Kill reissue, a Tom Waits reissue, a noise album by a woman named Alice Kemp and… hrm actually I think that’s it. I have done okay. I am debating a limited edition of 99 lathe-cut reissue of Swell’s first album, but I already have an original pressing. I will have to let that one go. And there’s a Dabrye reissue on Ghostly I have my eye on today, but we’re gonna have to see where things go with my monumental self-loathing this afternoon.

Hrm did I take any photos on this bender last night? Let’s see.

OK well it seems I inexplicably took five photos of this dude in his car at exactly 1 AM I do not know what is up with that.

Seriously, man. This is poor behavior. You are too old for this sort of bender.

Supposed to make it a zendaya-holland weekend and go see Spiderman this afternoon with MY BROS but I do not think that is going to happen.

Bro? Bro. Bro.

Emma keeps telling me I always want to go home from Boston about 2-3 weeks in and she is not wrong. I want my studio. I want my woobie attic.

Emma has decided that Jane doesn’t get iPad today. It was a brave choice. Jane is going full scorched earth. She refuses to do anything else fun. The two of them are locked in a heated battle. It may well last all day. My wife is a brave woman. Before I got to work I sat Jane in my lap and taught her about Germany’s inexplicable proclivity to endeavor to invade Russia. Hrm. I left out Napolean might need to go clarify. Anyway, I taught her the phrase “scorched earth.” Didn’t get to the point where I could explain to her there were other tactics besides scorched earth.

But she enjoyed the story at least.

Jane is a masterful negotiator. She wears you down. She is unrelenting. I cannot believe Emma decided to endure this today. She coulda had an entire day to herself and let her kid sit on the couch in a coma. She is a better person than I.

Oh man the screaming has started.

Love you forever friends. Be safe. Don’t drink.