Good morning good morning. Man I do not have a proper relationship with sleep right now. Slept an hour and twenty past my alarm. Fuck alarms. Sleep rules. More sleep. Except I couldn’t fall asleep last night even though I was completely exhausted, even though I had gotten 9 hours the night before. A tiny little yellow light that was on my alarm panel was keeping me awake. A tiny little yellow light that has been on that alarm panel for the entire 10 years I’ve lived in this house. (Jesus. Ten years down here in NC. That is crazy). I put a band-aid over it. Fell right asleep. Mysterious.

Not in a super great head space the last day or so. It is a new feeling. I am not sad or depressed, but I am pissed and annoyed and angry about the state of our country. It wasn’t ten minutes after I wrote to you yesterday about the other shoe dropping from the Supreme Court that the other shoe did, in fact drop. It wasn’t birthright citizenship — that’s today I think. But it was pretty fuckin bad. Those guys suck so hard. I do not want to think about the supreme court so much. I am so pissed that people supposedly smarter than me couldn’t see this coming and do something about it when we had the chance during the Biden administration. And the thing about the Supreme Court is it’s not even a Trump thing. Even if you were trying to be cool and pretend Trump was over like Biden was, the Supreme Court was an existential threat on its own, it was obvious, and something should have been done and I am pissed I will always be pissed at these people for not doing anything about it. Or Codifying Roe. Grrr.

And yet, this mood is… well, its new to me. I can’t quite explain it. No words. Shoulda sent a poet. Leave that to Luke O’Neil. Someone get me to a therapist.

I should edit this, take a couple passes, really try and nail down this unique feeling I am having living under fascism. But it’s hard, it’s depressing, and I feel like right at this moment I am barely hanging on and the exploration of it might keep me from continuing to hang on.

I had such a good idea last night for a meme to pull on Trump or Clarance Thomas or something — not anything voilent, not anything illegal, he hastens to add since we live in a surveillance state. It was so good. But I don’t even want to put it on the internet. Goons are knocking on more and more doors lately it really is something.

But what am I if I am not writing down my thoughts for 1 to 100 people or so. It is a core fiber of my being.

Maybe that is the problem, maybe I know that this fascism is slowly killing writing, slowly killing the truth, and that is all I am. Since I was, like, thirteen years old.

Shoulda learned to code.

Oh wait. I did. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That worked great.

There is a picture of a girl named Susan on my right monitor. She was a high school friend, I took this picture in high school. Susan was so cool. Wonder what happened to her. Nostalgia for a time when I didn’t have to think about the Supreme Court all the time. Though I must confess that as a teenager I probably thought about the Supreme Court more than the last Democrat-controlled congress.

Join the GMHHAY slack! Reply to this email and ask for an invite if you’re a human who likes chatting with other humans about topics such as these within!

We’re listening to Mirror Revelations today because they RULE. Great new drone band. I have mentioned them to you quite recently upon purchase of their second album. Their first album was probably my most listened-to album of the first half of this year, though I did not own it on vinyl. Well that has changed. It arrived yesterday and it looks and sounds great. Mirror Revelations. man. I want to get on a cool Japanese motorbike and ride through endless tunnels at night like in a Tarkovsky film while listening to Mirror Revelations. That is the kind of world I want to live in.

Except I am scared of motorbikes.

Important news: I was today years old when I realized the connection between the name Tom Verlaine and his band Television. Tom Verlaine. TV. Television. Get it? Reader, I did not. Even as a fan. Never even occurred to me.

Relatedly: Tom Verlaine’s record collection is for sale at Academy Records in Greenpoint.

There has been much discussion this morning amongst my friends about this purported photo of Dave Gahan and Martin Gore at the US-Panama game and I am having a lot of trouble believing its real. Like… where are their families? Why are they sitting together they don’t even really hang out that much. Is the Depeche Mode marketing apparatus a) currently active and b) so sophisticated as to know the memes this would create? Don’t they live in different cities? It really is blowing my mind. It’s gonna turn out to be AI, isn’t it?

Bought a sweet new Current 93 shirt couple weeks ago, it came in the mail yesterday, and I am wearing it now. I am 90% sure that David Tibet of current 93 is not a fascist or a Nazi like his longtime associate Douglas Pearce. Ninety percent seem like pretty good odds these days I suppose. The shirt is bringing me some modicum of happiness today, and it was delivered for a fairly reasonable price as far as small capitalist dopamine rushes go.

I know I could do it with AI in two seconds but I want a shirt in a similar drawing style that is a rendition of the “Hang in There” cat from the 70’s. I loved that cat. My mom had a poster up of it in her English classroom.

Lotta “Hang in there” cat variants on the internet these days. I feel like I read something ages ago about the Hang in There cat and there was some lawsuit or something? Ah yes. 10 million unauthorized copies. The Wikipedia page for the Hang in There Cat goes to places you do not expect. Spiro Agnew makes an appearance.

I don’t know where I am going with any of this today, increasingly feeling like I have sort of lost the plot with GMHHAY and some of its verbal trickery and cleverness has been lost. Lisa is editing Volume 3 right now and she says I have become a much better writer in it than Volume 1, but what you are reading now, here, will work out to be Volume 6 or so and I suspect I am past my prime.

Media!

We picked back up with Interview with the Vampire. Watched season 1 and I liked it at first but slowly sorta lost interesting. But Season 2, man. That shit is tight. So much good acting. So many great roles. Very impressed. Hard to believe they can pull off Season 3 but people tell me it is solid. We will see.

After Emma slowly prepping her with the first four films, we took Jane to see Toy Story 5 in the theater. It was my first time in the theater with Jane. She had been once before but it was for a friend’s birthday party and I did not go. We had so much fun she was so engrossed the whole thing was adorable and man I would do that again in a hot second. I have not been going to movies in theaters anymore. Never really picked up the habit again since COVID. I think I’ve gone twice since then. But I remain a fan I guess. All the theaters killed their 10 AM shows after COVID and that was my favorite movie time. But man. Jane. So cute at movies. Enthralled.

I enjoyed the screens vs toys set-up of the film, wondered how it would impact my daughter, all that illustrating of screen zombies. It does not seem to have made an impact. She still loves her screens. Too much. Far too much.

No chat, though, fuck that. No social features at all. Barely any internet, highly controlled.

Oh also I forgot to put the playlist link in yesterday so I will put it in here. I don’t have one for today anyway, so for the first time ever in the history of GMHHAY, I will post the same playlist twice. See? Told you I was getting lazy.

It’s a good one, though. I listened to it yesterday after I wrote to you.

Until tomorrow, fine friends. For now, I am off to our weekly revenue meeting with three new coworkers attending. All very exciting. Nimbus is growing. I am doing my job. I am still pretty good at it, believe it or not.

Ta.