Good morning good morning hello howdy hi. How are you? What is it? Tuesday. Well all right. Fine. Be that way. One more morning of waking up at 6:30 till I get, like, one and two-halfs months off. Not much but I will take it.

I would like to state for the record that I just spent a full minute looking at an email from myself that said “how much do we owe for the cats” and thought maybe I accidentally bought some new pet cats from someone? But no. It is an email about tractors.

Just back from McDonald’s, where I sat there drinking my morning beverage, waiting for the pharmacy to open. Except then I learned the pharmacy doesn’t open until 9. Alas. I have become one of those old men who sit at McDonald’s alone and gripes about how things don’t open early enough. What have I become my sweetest friend everyone goes away in the end. Someone shove a beat-up old paperback Master & Commander novel in my hand.

I think I have conquered my latest protein cravings. At the suggestion of someone in the GMHHAY slack, bought a giant pack of organic chicken breasts, roasted em up, and I am just snacking on them. It is fucked up. I swear my shit actually just smells like poultry now. If that doesn’t cause an unsubscriber I don’t know what will.

Watched the Apple WWDC keynote yesterday. It was so depressing. The first part was okay, they sort of did a sop to the glory days of Snow Leopard and pretended that they spent a lot of time fixing bugs. Will my folders stay on the right place on my desktop after this update? Will the other bugs that have persisted for three, four versions of MacOS finally get addressed? Well, I doubt it. Because they’re Mac bugs. Does anyone at Apple care about the Mac anymore? I mean, yes, probably. But not enough to talk about it much in the keynote.

And then all the AI shit. I mean, I just don’t believe this shit, man. I don’t believe an AI is ever going to be able to figure out where you can get a Suki Waterhouse ticket I don’t believe the AI is ever going to search my Gmail properly in Apple Mail. I don’t believe that it will let me speak normal english. And, I am absolutely confident that thing will still not be able to tell me what song is playing on my phone at that very moment.

In the immortal words of Kool Keith: “I don’t believe you.”

And of course even if it does all work I don’t need it. I don’t understand why they’re so gung-ho about making deepfake photos acessible and easy. I don’t understand why they’re so obsessed with 3D maps.

I don’t understand why they think anyone wants any of this.

And of course it is built on theft. Do you know what those parameters are? Where they came from? No, you don’t, we don’t, we never will. We don’t get to know. We just forget that part. Now we have a bunch of Silicon Valley capitalists going on about copyleft and who owns anything. Super great. Artists don’t need to make a living why would artists need to make a living they can all go be adtech CEOs.

Also everyone speaks like a robot at Apple Keynotes, their hands are all programmed to make the same creepy gestures and it wigs me the fuck out. And Federeghi is, like, walking all over the place for no reason, while his audio is clearly recorded in a voiceover booth. It’s so… unreal. Devoid of soul.

Maybe things will get better under Ternus but I am not holding my breath.

But fuck, man. I don’t know. What should Apple even do with all that power. What would I rather them be doing. Faster internet, make a decent affordable monitor, make a foldable, make a waterproof speaker. Fix health care. Make Apple Music work decently on Android. A better keyboard. Resurrect Electic Objects. Care about the Mac. Save Canoo.

But none of that is a trillion dollar market so we all have to pretend that AI is.

Man apple should make energy systems. That would rule. All the shit Elon told us he was going to make. Amazing solar roofs. Home windmills. Clean power everywhere oh god I would actually like Apple again.

Join the GMHHAY slack! Reply to this email and ask for an invite if you’re a human who likes chatting with other humans about topics such as these within!

We are listening to Jenna Malone’s music project The Shoe. Did you know Jena Malone had a band? The album is called I’m Okay. I added it to my Discogs wantlist four years ago, guess I had Jena Malone on my mind four years ago. But just last week, the first vinyl copy in four years came up on Discogs for sale. It was $35, which was a bitter pill once I got it in the mail and it had a price tag on it for $1.99. But coincidentally, Jena Malone has been on the mind again since she stars in the very good The Boroughs. Total coincidence. Unless someone decided to try and time the market. And I guess it worked. Except I was in the market anyway. It is a very pretty mellow melodic indie record. It has some nice bass guitar work courtesy of a woman named Wendy Wang. I like The Shoe. This is pleasant.

On the drive to school, Jane and I listened to Ian Dury and the Blockhead’s “Reasons to Be Cheerful (Part 3)” this morning and, god man, that song rules. It is from 1979! Is it — and I hesitate to say this — an early proto-Rap song? Came out the same year as Rapper’s Delight. I mean… it does not rhyme. So it’s not rap, right? Right?

It sure is great though. Cheered me right up. Even Jane liked it even though it has a boy singer.

Summer, Buddy Holly, the working folly
Good golly, Miss Molly and boats 

Boats! Yes! Boats rule.

My friend, amazing artist in her own right and GMHHAY book editor Lisa is ready to do volume 3 of GMHHAY. She’s got a lot of work and not tons of time so it will take her a few months to wrestle with the, oh, 400,000 words I gave her for whatever year we’re up to on the print versions. I think 2022? We had a talk about the book versions and how much she should edit, and what it should be? I had a clear vision for Volume One: it was a pandemic diary and my dad died and it had a real arc to it. Volume Two feels a bit aimless, but still works as a token of that liminal, is-it-still-a-pandemic interregnum. But what about volume three? Is it a cultural document? A historical document? Could it be a unique work in its own right?

I think we’re gonna edit hard, try and carve an… almost narrative out of it? I mean I don’t know if it will work but fuck it. I guess it will be weird if there are some tonal discrepancies between the various volumes, but I think that is the lesser of two evils and Lisa and I should pursue a finer work, something born of real collaboration where I trust her to be brave and together we make something new and different. Like a remix.

Of course no one buys these, no one reads the book versions of this esteemed “newsletter,” but I don’t care. Art is art and art that is separated from success and commerce is more free and it keeps me sane. A bulwark against the overly-corporate and capitalist portions of my life.

Being a CEO sucks, man. I do not recommend it.

Even if you’re a kind one.

Or a liked one.

Or a democratic socalist one.

Hey good news after a decade or two of trying, then a decade of giving up on it, I have recently, magically, started sleeping on my back. I have no idea how that happened and can offer no advice for those of you dreaming of it. But I guess I can offer a shred of hope. One day it could happen to you. Out of the blue.

It will not help your neck as much as you hoped, though.

Jane do I have any Jane anecdotes from the last 24 hours? Oh right we went to the dentist. Pulled her from school early. She got her splint removed, as preparation for her new (temporary-ish) crowns on Friday. These crowns will hopefully last her until she’s full grown, late teens, and they can put more permanent ones on. She screamed a lot at the beginning of getting the split removed and then the dentist was like “fuck it we can just do this Friday when she’s under the general anesthesia.” He did not say fuck. And he started to pack up. And Jane was like “Man I got pulled out of school for this I am going to make it worthwhile let’s DO THIS.” And then she stopped screaming and it all magically happened. Whew.

Also the dentist had a PRO-YETI shirt on which was pretty swell.

Jane picked out the Axolotl from the reward drawer.

Seems like this is a very pro-Cryptozoology dentist office.

Also she drew a sweet Ninja yesterday but I forgot to take a photo of it. I will get it for you. Ninjas are new for her. Jane’s first Ninja. Daddy is so proud.

Have some butterflies instead.

Drone playlist for you today. I was trying to explain Drone to Jane the other day. Actually lemme throw that song on here one sec. Perfect. That playlist was a little short. The song we were listening to was “Why Couldn’t I See” by Spacemen 3 and she kinda hated it but also got it when I explained drone and she was like “it about the tones and sounds and I like the tones and sounds” and that made me happy. I am now convinced it is innate in her soul because I played her “Revolution” by Spacemen 3 on the drive home from the hospital. I am obsessed with his Mirror Revelations album they are such a great band. Been listening to it constantly. I need to learn more about them. Oh man those Bright and FSA songs came on back-to-back a week or two ago in the morning after i dropped of Jane and the sun was shining and life was beautiful and I almost cried. Sally free and easy.

Though the heart that she gave me
Was not made of stone
It was sweet and hollow
Like a honeycomb

Sorry. God. I am posting lyrics in here like I’m some sort of Emo teen I’ll get it together I promise.

(N.B. Reader, he will not, in fact, get it together).