You know, prayer’s not so bad. I mean, here I am, settling into my comfy office, about to wax poetic to you about cheese, and I’m thinking to myself “we bombed a girls school and killed two hundred kids that happened and no one is talking about it.” My head is throbbing for no reason and I am irritated about it but also thinking about people pointlessly dying in domestic concentration camps. But boy am I excited about my new spaceship toy in the mail.

Prayers are a way of taking a moment every day and acknowledging this. I mean, the ritualization of it, the commoditization, the same time and place kind of thing with the dinner grace and all, maybe not the best. Maybe we should have a random timer that goes off during the day and at that moment we have to stop and do some acknowledgements and, well, prayers, even if not to anyone. ooo maybe we get an app and you have ten friends and you all do it at the same time of day. You know, that would be pretty awesome.

I think I want that app.

CHEESE. In a rare instance of, I don’t know, distraction, Jane did not finish her morning cheese stick. Jane gets a morning cheese stick. She needs more protein, barely eats meat, and what… it’s 2026 man she’s not gonna drink milk what am I the dad on Family Ties or something? So I got to eat the cheese stick. HOLY SHIT. CHEESE. Came home and cut a nice big slab of CoJack off the block. MY GOD. CHEESE. OH MY GOD.

Look yes this newsletter is arguably pointless but tell me you haven’t had similar thoughts now and again.

God imagine how much worst the pandemic would have been if we had a legit cheese shortage.

Imagine if the Iranians were blocking the Straits of Cheese.

Good morning. Hello. Hi. Friday. Howdy. Woo. Headache. Thump thump thump. The sun is blinding me. I AM SO INTO IT. COME TO ME, SUN. I got all my major professional day job chores done this week. I am so proud of myself. So much work product. So many emails. So much executiving. Yay me.

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We are listening this morning to Boyd Rice. A 1981 repressing of his 1977 self-titled debut. I just bought it for like $8 on Discogs. It is so beat up. A lot of trolls, choads, Nazis and nerds have owned this particular copy of this record over the past four decades. Maybe one or two good dudes. Maybe even a woman. Boyd is so cancelled. I mean, it really was inevitable, that was his whole shtick, to be offensive. The world ignored it for, like, 30 years and then one day were like “yeah you know what? You are offensive.” This record is not, though. It’s just some droning, looping electronica. Why did I buy this record. I don’t know. It is a historical artifact, I guess. Oh god is this the music nerd equivalent of collecting Nazi paraphanalia? I mean I don’t own a lot of Boyd.. Oh shit I do own one other NON CD and the Spell album he did with Rosey MacDowell. Though I bought those before he was cancelled. But who am I kidding I already knew he was kinda evil then. But it was a cool evil. Oh the fuckin 90s we were such idiots. Really thought the world was gonna constantly get better and these people were historical curiosities.

They have put up one of those speed checking flashing signs that the police tow around on trailers and stick ‘em in problem spots. They put it at the entrance to the big suburban neighborhood I have to drive through to get Jane to school. It’s been there about two weeks now. I drive through it every morning at about 35 in a 25. I do not do this smugly, I know I should go slower, but also fuck that, it’s fine, no one’s on the street, it is a safe speed. As you get closer to the sign, it starts blinking at me, SLOW DOWN. Reader, I do not slow down.

But that’s not what’s interesting here you know what’s interesting? Almost everyone else slows down! Do they stay that slow? Sometimes! For a bit! Some of them slow down way below 25 MPH. One person slowed down to 18 and stayed there. It is crazy! I mean, I should have assumed if these dumb signs were everywhere, they worked, but also county-level procurement offices? Could go either way! But they work! People slow down and I am a terrible person.

So I had it all worked out with the grapes. Had this epiphany about a month ago. Rick, you don’t need to buy the bag of grapes with the most grapes in it. There’s a reason there are different amounts of grapes in each of these bags, and you are paying by the pound. You’re not getting a better grape deal buying the bag with the most grapes in it. And you only have one kid and the grapes start shrinking and wilting before you finish the bag. You could just buy a bag of grapes with less grapes in it — maybe exactly a week’s worth of grapes. And then you wouldn’t to foist shrunking, raisin-pubescent grapes on your kid.

And it worked! It was such an amazing month. For four weeks I bought exactly the right amount of grapes and Jane feasted on the plumpest, juciest grapes and I rule.

But it’s all over, man. I fucked up. It’s Friday and I still have like a third of a bag of grapes left. It’s all over. I am nothing. Nothing.

I did finish Star Trek: Starfleet Academy, which I guess the acronym for would technically be ST:SA? That’s weird. But anyway I am pleased to report it was solid, the federation is optimistic and well-meaning again, not a single mention of that bullshit Section 31 51 what the fuck ever god those guys suck. There was one or two plot points sticking in my craw about the Federation being dark, but they were mostly red herrings or what they call plot points. Maybe watch a whole thing before developing an opinion on the plot is a thing I just learned because I am 12. By the way did you know half the people on the internet are children? Explains a lot. Anyway I enjoyed it very much, Tig Notaro had a line that I believe was expressly directed to me, the pioneer Star Trek Economic Historian out there, although since eclipsed by my mentees because who wants to be known for a thing at least I’m no longer in danger of having Subservient Chicken on my tombstone fuck yeah throwback.

Man imagine reading this if you don’t know me. I should add links or something. NEVER.

Oh hey serious business thing: the private credit markets are doing what they’re supposed to do. I know I sound like those people who said “Let Bear Stearns Die” but TTITFLW (this time it’s different famous last words). Nothing is really leveraged, unlike last time. It’s not your personal savings at risk, unlike last time. The market grew fast but it’s really not that bug yet. It should be fine.

Should.

Mohamaed El-Erian agrees but who you gonna trust? Some dude who writes a newsletter about nothing, or a Jets fan.

Stuffy day at Jane’s school. She was not quite as irrationally excited about stuffy day today as she usually is. Shit. She is growing up.

Ivelisse wrote in that obviously we could find replacement pink boots on the internet and lo and behold, Emma found the exact same boots the next size up for the what-I-deem-to-be-reasonable price of $22. My wife is irked. $22 for used seems too much to her. She is probably right from a children’s boot price standpoint, about which I know nothing. But from a “less annoyance for Rick in the morning” standpoint they are a bargain.

Also Emma endeavored to explain kids shoe sizes to me and what.the.fuck. I think she’s saying Jane will be/is now a 13, but her next size is a 1, then it goes up a few then turns into men’s sizes except she’s a girl so she will have to changes sizes again?

I aced calculus at the age of 15 and this shit makes no sense to me someone call a doctor.

We have a modern classical playlist for you today did not see that coming. Exciting. Mach Richter doing the Hamnet soundtrack live in London that must have been so awesome. Living in London must be awesome. Used to read the NME and look at all the gig ads in the back and be in awe of all the awesome bands playing clubs. Imagine if I lived in London I could spend so much money on tickets to concerts I am too lazy to go to.

Also I decided the screenshot and the embed look pretty good together. But it is a bit of a chore to make this screenshot every morning — Apple Music does not make it easy. I may ditch it. Which would mean I would occasionally be talking about a song that you can’t see on the screen. That might be okay, though. Add a bit of mystery.

It is Friday and I am off to Walmart soon and my hand is well enough I think I can do some studio work this weekend so farewell. Have a lovely weekend. Hopefully without headaches.