Good Morning. Hello. How are you? #1577
Thoughts on the new Taylor album. A rare single-topic issue.
Good morning, hello. Hi. How are you? Running a little late today. Jane has no school, she has a cooking camp, it didn’t start till 9:30, I slept till 8, it was amazing, oh my god, it was so great.
Happy Taylor Swift release day. Yes, I am a 53-year-old (I think) man who is going to write an entire newsletter about Taylor Swift. Probably. In my defense, I write a million-ish words a year so, you know in the grand scheme of things, not that many of them are about Taylor.
All in all, high level: nothing on this album is as good as “I Can Do it With a Broken Heart,” but the album as a whole is a better album than TTPD.
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I suppose this is a review of me as much as the album. I am in more-or-less existential horror these days. It is hard for me to listen to pop music without getting caught up in some sort of mental trap about the very act of it. But, then, it’s also about Taylor, the human, the phenomenon, because I don’t have these thoughts when listening to, say, Man’s Best Friend.
I don’t assume “Manchild” or “Tears” are autobiographical. Same with, oh, I don’t know, the new album from the awesome orchestral metal band Agriculture, which I am also super excited about today. I am not cranky about Agriculture not singing about fascism. (Though maybe they are no idea what they’re saying.) I’m not cranky with Sabrina about it either. I just take her songs as songs.
Which, at this point it is basically impossible for me to do with Taylor. I can’t help but assume “Actually Romantic” is about a real person, and obviously “The Fate of Ophelia” is about Travis, etc. I can’t tell what’s real and what’s fiction. Taylor loves it that way, of course, it’s a whole thing with her, easter eggs and little mysteries is it autobiographical or not, etc. etc. Loves it.
I also gotta remember this album was written and recorded during the Eras tour. It is, therefore, almost a historic artifact: a product of a time before America fell into fascism. I hadn’t really thought about this before today, in my head this was an album made in these current times. But it wasn’t, really. I mean, you could see them coming, these times, but… you had to look. Pretty sure she wasn’t looking.
I also gotta remember that human beings other than myself are capable of creating art at this moment in time, under these political circumstances. We need this, of course. We need distractions and uplifting art and people who work to cheer us up. I have to remember that.
So I guess I should just put all that aside and, you know, try to listen to a pop record and think about a pop record.
Well okay then.
My favorite track is “The Life of a Showgirl,” it is great. I love that Sabrina gets a whole verse. I love the darkness and light, the story, I love story songs I love it when she channels her Tom Waits and talks about other people. I just think this is a great song. The story has a slightly confusing transition from adversity to domination, really skipped that part, but I guess that’s fine.
Runners up: “The Fate of Ophelia” and “Opelite.” Both are hot Max Martin jams. Just great. A+ no complaints on these two.
“Actually Romantic” would have been the single greatest song Taylor ever wrote if it came out on 1989. I love its sexual abiguity. I love its more (relatively) spare production, the simplicty of the conceit. But at this stage in her career it is sadly a little pat. But think about it: man. If it were on 1989? Or shit, even Reputation? Woulda been phenomenal.
“Father Figure” is a disappointment once I realized George Michael was getting a song credit, I hoped for something akin to Stan or that one Eminem does with Martika. Putting Taylor aside, the concept of Max Martin doing a riff on “Father Figure” filled me with insane amounts of excitement and this song did not deliver. I mean, it’s fine. It’s just not what I was hoping for.
I hate all cancel culture discourse and I hate that song with a fiery passion after a single listen and I doubt I will ever listen to it again and it really feeds into my paranoia that T&T are slowly becoming MAGA and she is becoming a tradwife and I do not like any of it one bit no siree.
I kinda like “Endest Daugher” and it is totally right about the internet and I share Taylor’s sensitivity and artistic soul and the barren wasteland of hatred and trolls of the internet makes me sad too and I like the sorta hopeful “Never gonna let you down never gonna leave you” message of this song. And I like its crescendo and climax. It is a very pretty song.
“Wi$h Li$t” and “Wood” went in one ear and out the other on first listen I should give them a second listen. Hold please.
Okay well “Wi$h Li$t” is fine, I guess, her “Forever Your Girl,” noteworthy that she says she wants kids, I will assume this song is fictional Taylor since I do not believe for a hot second she does not want an Oscar or a Palme D’Or. The “They” is her, the “I” is her it is a battle within herself oh my god I will laugh so hard and also be so happy for her if she has kids and a basketball hoop on the garage. Pregnant Taylor, oh god, you’re killing me.
Wood is an amazingly crafted boring-ass “hot jam.” Wait lemme read the lyrics make sure there’s nothing amazing here oh god oh god wow okay well this is a sexy jam I guess I did not know she was ever going to make an actually sexy jam and it is sorta weird and disturbing but I do have to admit it kinda works.
Every pop star singing about their thighs these days.
I wish with all my being there was a single song on this album with a BPM of over, mmm, gonna say 190, 200. Something fucking anthemic and banging and fast and driven and capable of making you absolutely lose your shit on the dance floor.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
See you on Monday. Probably. From Boston. Hopefully.
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Thanks for reading.
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Good Morning, Hello, How Are You vol 1.