May 30, 2025

Good Morning. Hello. How are you? #1503

A Walmart run and a treatise on the complexities of speed limits as a political issue.

Morning morning morning. Hi. It is raining again. Fifth day in a row or so. Which is a hassle because I am getting an OSB delivery today. Gotta get that shit into the garage without getting wet.

(I almost wrote “cuz” there because that is what I do but recently I re-read a piece of my casual writing, an email, and saw the “cuz” and hated it. I am trying to stamp it out. No more “cuz.” Except for cousins.)

I am thinking that all this rain might be effecting my mood, though, which I would not characterize as 100% this week.

Just back from Walmart and oh boy do I have lots to say. Not about Chomps, though. They are still experiencing shortages. The novelty has worn off. We are in the trough of Chomps disillusionment now. Best not to speak of it.

First: Walmart Radio. Even though I’ve been a listener for years, today was the first time it clicked that their “station ID tag” had a URL in it and that that URL wasn’t walmart.com. I had previously gone to walmart.com looking for a link to Walmart Radio but no luck. But today I actually heard the sting, and it says “listen online at walmartworld.com.” Thus, reader, I am excited to tell you that you can listen to Walmart radio whenever you want. They’re also on Insta and Facebook and (double yuck) Twitter. The DJs have bios. It is just great. Chris, the morning DJ has a degree and eighteen years of experience in journalism. All pro.

Sadly, no embed though, so I can’t foist Walmart radio on you.

Walmart radio played that “Stuck in the Middle With You” song and then “Kids” by MGMT and boy did that take me back to early 2000’s Boston dance nights, where there was an awesome dance night every single day of the week. Viscerally ached for my (30’s) youth there. Thanks, Morning DJ Chris.

My morning Diet Coke had the name “Alicia” on it. I like the Coke/Diet Coke annual(ish) “put names on the cans” campaign. It is my kind of advertising: slightly Dada, solidly non-discounting, confusing, causes conversation, absolutely impenetrable metrics for outsiders. Love it. My friend Chad and I have been having a debate about the frequency of male/female names on Coke and Diet Coke. He theorizes that there are some hard-and-fast rules, or at least strong statistical biases. I am more of the theory that it’s a kind of weird freakonomics/behavioral thing where the different demos pick different names. A quality mystery.

There was a woman at Walmart this morning wearing giant headphones and talking on a phone on a business call, which was validating because I have been known to wander around Walmart wearing my Airpods Max talking business (aside: Airpods Max are the stupidest looking headphones on a person, or at least on me, and I like ‘em okay but i think I’m gonna give these new Sonys a shot). She was bottle blonde with black eyebrows and thick black glasses, wearing very scant and loose clothing. Almost Onlyfans-coded but something tells me she is corporate. She scowled into her phone, when I first saw her: “Look if you make that choice I will support you but don’t do it behind my fucking back.”

Later I saw her in line, like 30 minutes later, and she was still at it and she said “that girl has problems.”

I saw a press release yesterday that a dude soap company is making a soap that will include Sydney Sweeney’s bathwater, speaking of Onlyfans-coded. It was the same company that made those Darth Vader and Darth Maul soaps I decried in my Walmart update two weeks ago. The Star Wars villains soap display still remains, unmarred by Sydney Sweeney’s bathwater. For now. I will keep you apprised. I know you are curious.

On the way out I had to do a little door dance with an incoming local yokel who was, logically, trying to go into the store on the set of doors on his right side. You rube. Everyone knows that at Walmart, the doors that go out are the ones closest to the registers, regardless of whether it’s on the right or left. You want to enter in a set of doors on the right? You gotta go into the building on the right side of the building.

This guy was great, by the way. Full ZZ top beard, meth thin, messed up teeth, looked absolutely the cliche of a hick, like Kenneth’s relatives on 30 Rock or something. And then I saw him driving out and he was driving a brand new, maxed out Grand Wagoneer, starting price $90k+. The world is wondrous.

Oh! And there was a banana peel on the wet pavement, right next to where I parked. I couldn’t help it. Had to check if it was slippery. And reader, the banana peel was super slippery. Even though I was being careful, that thing slid. I don’t know why I’m surprised, I tried this like thirty years ago and the banana was slippery then and I have not heard anything saying bananas have changed but, you know. GMOs. Who knows. You are now up-to-date.

Join the GMHHAY slack! Reply to this email and ask for an invite if you’re a human who likes chatting with other humans about topics such as these within!

We are listening to the Alan Sparhawk collaboration album with Trampled By Turtles. It is logically entitled Trampled by Turtles. I was a bit worried about this album, I mean, it sounds way more like Low than his recent solo stuff, so that was promising, but the lead single has him singing about “doing your own research,” which, you know. Q-Anon-coded. But I am pleased to report this album sounds pretty awesome so far. Track 1, Side B, “Get Still,” is fantastic.

Gonna spend the rest of this entry talking about Speed Limits. Because you know what? I think about Speed Limits all the time. I mean, I live in driving country so this is maybe not surprising. But also, Speed Limits are an amazing topic: they are the perfect encapsulation of American civil society and politics. They are endlessly fascinating.

There’s been some chatter on Bluesky this week about speed limits, everyone arguing about them. This was spawned because Maryland has issued 40,000 new parking tickets on an interstate obtained from speed cameras. Some people are in support of this. Some people are against it. One guy talked about how much he loves speed cameras after spending time in Finland, where they are widespread. But he noted in Finland every camera is very prominently marked. Having recently narrowly avoided a speeding ticket from a speed camera in Maryland myself recently (I got off with a warning), I can tell you these are not marked.

But let’s back up.

In a perfect world, the weird hypocrisy and untruth of speed limits would somehow be resolved. All you need to do is be a parent and try and explain speed limits to your kid, and the absolute inconsistency and idiocy of the whole current system is laid bare.

I feel like the topic of speeding is a thing where everyone thinks they are right, everyone else is wrong, It is obvious to them, and the other side is just dumb. Watching people on Bluesky argue about whether it’s okay to go the speed limit in the left lane on an Interstate — thus holding up everyone who wants to speed — is a perfect window into the breadth of the human mind. Some people do not give a fuck if people pile up behind them. “That’s not my problem,” one of them said. This, of course, is only maybe partly true, if you piss someone off enough for them to do something to you it becomes your problem. That’s just a fact. Doesn’t make it right, though, and sometimes people gotta stand up for what they believe in. Others would call that busybodies. Other people do not want to piss people off regardless. Rare is the speeder who thinks “alas, well, I can no longer go the speed I want because this driver is blocking me but that is totally fine, I do not mind, that is their right.” Yeah, rare sentiment, that one. But not absolutely non-existent! Everyone convinced they’re right.

Now, I like to speed. Not a lot, just a little. Maybe 5-10 over the speed limit. And I confess I am absolutely unable to tolerate someone who decides to go less than the speed limit when I am behind them. Drives me up the wall.

But I must acknowledge, I suppose, it is their right. And I try and remind myself of this when I am behind them. Like this morning.

I have my biases. But I am trying to, you know, unpack the issue beyond them.

Because there’s so much more to this topic.

How are speed limits set? How is it we have virtually zero ability, as citizens, to impact these, higher or lower? It’s weird, right? And it’s totally common in America and we all kinda accept it.

We see California’s experiments with direct democracy and we are not fans. I fantacize now and again about a ballot initiative about a specific unreasonable speed limit. But I know it’s unworkable. We are all slightly aristocratic and agree with Hamilton and the Federalists that the populace gets all worked up about things, and needs a vent, a remove from the levers of power, manifested through representative democracy. Other Americans? They need to be kept in check.

Of course we all also, mostly, believe in the theory of “government at the level closest to the people as possible” and this does not happen with speed limits at all. Very rarely do towns have say over their speed limits. Where I live, speed limits near my house are done at the state level, the county gets no say. Chapel Hill has signs everywhere saying “city speed limit 35 except where posted” and then there are different speed limits, posted by the state, basically everywhere.

There is a road by my house. Four lanes. Divided. They recently lowered the speed limit from 45 to 35. They did this cuz the road was poorly built or designed, and there is a stoplight right after a blind curve and apparently someone got in a wreck there? That’s everyone’s theory, anyway. But none of us really know. So now a two-mile stretch of this highway has a speed limit of 35 that literally no one follows.

There is a two-lane road near me, winds through the woods, blind turns, driveways exiting right onto it: waaaay more dangerous than the road that recently got reduced to 35mph. Its speed limit is 55. Why! Who knows! I have a hard time even reaching the speed limit on that one.

But rather than argue about the new limit (boy are people loving arguing about the new limit, even a year-plus later), let us ask ourselves: Why was this road built this way? Did they cheap out on eminent domain? Some lawsuit happen? Who knows. We as citizens cannot really find this out.

If you read the Nextdoor about this road, and it’s new speed limit, the comments are maybe 60-40 anti-lower-speed-limit. Maybe closer. It’s definitely pretty evenly divided.

But, boy. If you go by the habits of the people on the road? It’s like 90-10 pro higher limit.

All these people, annoyed and arguing the issue, convinced their right, absolutely no governmental participation or explanation. No recourse. No vote. Nothing.

And then we have “safety” argument in general. Of course people want safety, want to save lives. I think a lot of people just think “well, lower speed limits are safer” and that is the end of it for them.

But it seems to me that the truth is more complicated.

It is a fact that traffic related deaths have been plummeting in the US for decades. It is a fact that, on highways at least, speed limits have been rising for decades. Pedestrian deaths too.

The Autobahn has lower traffic fatalities than US interstates. Of course, US interstates are not a monolothic thing anymore. I-90 going through Boston is very different than I-90 going through Montana. But still. More evidence that, on certain roads at least, the correlation between speed and safety is murky at best,

Speaking of the interstate! 55MPH was just a Jimmy Carter energy initiative thing, right? OPEC Embargo related? And it just stuck? Like… I mean, the seal has been broken a bit — lots of interstates now go higher than 55. But other roads? You will never see another road with a speed limit higher than 55. Jimmy Carter did that! It’s still a thing! Is that a good idea? No idea! But… do we really live in the same world as when that was instituted?

To be clear I am not advocating like 50 mph speed limits in neighborhoods (though I suspect 35 would be fine in a lot of neighborhoods). But making divided four-lane highways then putting 45 or 35 mph speed limits on them seems… well, it does not seem backed up by the research.

Another aspect I’ve been thinking a lot about recently: Maryland’s governor and legislature are all Democratic. Adding these speed cams and widely deploying them: that is kind of a new thing in America. Or, let’s say emerging. Nothing like Finland. SO FAR, I think, broadly, speed limits have not been a partisan issue. So, really, seems to me like this is a… democratic initiative? Why? I am a dues-paying, donation-happy progressive who reliably votes democratic (despite my frustrations) and boy I do not know of anyone in the party who is going on and on about this particular issue. Why are we spending political capital on it?

Yes, in a perfect world speed limits would make sense, somehow, and we wouldn’t feel dishonest when we explain them to our kids. But I also think right now is not the best time in American politics to “completely revisit an issue” and blow it wide open. I don’t really see any reason that, with their expertise at such things, ultimately the right couldn’t pick off some voters from the left using speed limits as a wedge issue, just like they very effectively did, getting hippies to vote for trump through RFK and vax talk, or crypto lovers to come their way.

And I don’t particularly think that Americans, if you polled them, want the widespread use of speed cameras.

But, then, flip side, if we could have more cameras and fewer traffic cops and one less excuse for cops to have to racially profile, then, you know, maybe convinceable?

But, again, right now, I kinda feel like it might be best to let the issue lie.

I have now spent about half my life in cities, no car necessary, and half my life in driving country. This whole issue, speed limits: it probably doesn’t apply to a lot of city dwellers. Though of course many city dwellers, especially those in the close suburbs — the Somervilles and Berkeleys — own cars. Even when those suburbs attached to public transit.

So, certain city-dwellers notwithstanding, for a lot of people this is an issue that directly effects them. It seems to me kind of a wonder that at this moment this issue is just… laying there. Not (yet) politicized. An issue that is heavily, completely governmentally controlled, with almost zero public input, and the MAGA crowd has not gone after it.

That is weird, right? Because boy, I can see a world where it just explodes into rancor. Rancor that eventually becomes partisan. And plays to Republicans.

I wonder what motivated Maryland to install these cameras, to start raking in vastly more speeding ticket revenue? Given this is on the interstate, I kinda doubt it was safety? What’s the game here? Is it worth it? No idea. Did they even talk to Marylanders about it? Was it a thing? Did anyone vote for it? No idea! Is it one of those things like Hotel Tax where people are like “cool, collect the taxes from someone else.” A sin tax gone into beast mode? No idea!

But, man. Watching all these supposedly brothers-in-arms liberals on Bluesky argue about speeding these last few days? I know it sounds hyperbolic, but jesus.

I don’t have a lot of strong opinions about the speed limit issue. I can see both sides. Except for this: Pray the Republicans don’t latch on to it. It’ll be a giant mess.

Got a moody and quiet playlist for you today. To slow you down, you know. Drive slow. This doesn’t work on me but hey, maybe it’ll work on you. All new stuff here.

Have a lovely weekend. Will be back Monday to regale you with tales of chores.

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Thanks for reading.

And hey! Maybe buy one of my books!

Good Morning, Hello, How Are You vol 1.

Agency: The definitive guide to starting a consultancy

The Economics of Star Trek

Man Nup: A Groom’s Guide to Heroic Wedding Planning