Good Morning. Hello. How are you? #1499
Walmart run, the pepperoni-flavored turkey chomps shortage continues to thwart america's comeback, excellent daughter times, a goth song 4U
Good morning my fine feathered friends. Happy Friday. I am not tired. I have a headache. How are you? Do you have a headache? Are we all dying of brain cancer? Seems possible.
Just back from the Walmart. Still no Pepperoni-flavored Turkey Chomps, though they have all the beef flavors, including a new flavor? Smokey BBQ? Seems weird to introduce a new flavor when you have supply shortages, but you do you, Chomps. Does seem like the shortage is slowly sorting itself out, anecdotal reports from GMHHAY readers around the country tell me that Turkey Chomps are returning to shelves, though not the Pepperoni-flavored Turkey oh god what if they have discontinued my brand.
(Remember that eye glasses commercial made like a soap opera where the guy says “my brand!”? Man I think about that commercial a lot. “Look. Look with your special eyes.”)
What else, what else. Oh! Special guest DJ on Walmart Radio! From a specific store! In South Carolina! This has never happened before! My god, if I were to ever take a full time job again (you know, after these two I have now), the only one I would entertain is working on Walmart radio. Sure, Walmart is a deeply problematic company but, you know. Change comes from within. I would play “Lost in the Supermarket” so often. Brand collaborations with Laraaji and, like, I don’t know, Unikitty.
(I am sucking it up right now and ordering some plain-turkey-flavored Chomps from Amazon/Whole Foods because they have to be better than my current, crappy, sugar-addled turkey substitute. I am a terrible leftist).
(OH wait no I’m not because you gotta do that Whole Foods shopping thing and I hate Whole Foods more than I hate Amazon and I don’t want them to send an extra automobile just for my stupid addiction).
Oh one thing i realized at Walmart today are the simple yet profound joys of a perfectly aligned, perfectly functioning shopping cart gliding over a smooth concrete floor. Man. How often do you get a perfect shopping cart? Never, never.
Did my annual purchase of a bunch of shorts for workwear and activewear or whatnot. Like a depression granddad, whom I aspire to be one day. I had recently ruined two pairs while working on the attic, so things were getting dire. Walmart now advertising the inseam length on shorts, a nod to recent fashion trends where people-in-the-know debate such things. But I made an amazing discovery: instead of buying them from the workout/gymwear section, I can buy them from the workwear section, next to the high-vis shirts. Cheaper and have pockets. God, the workwear section at Walmart rules. It’s like the hispanic foods section: these secret sections of stores where the prices are cheaper for the exact same stuff, that are basically invisible to white poeple. Segregation right in our grocery stores.
Excellent section.
Oh and major fuck-up at Walmart, they had the sports drinks in Aisle A28 even though the sign on Aisle A27 said the Gatorade was in that aisle.
Amateurs.
They did not have the new Meren Morris album, I really thought they would have had it, its just a normcore country album, right up Walmart’s alley but nope.
They did have Rose’s Lime, though, first time in months. Two whole bottles. Thought about hoarding but I left one for another shopper who is addicted to non-alcoholic negronis what else would you use it for.
Oh wait I gotta text our excavator and tell him I have his payroll man being an excavator must be so awesome you get to play with tractors all day AND you don’t have to deal with GE and they’re 120-day payment terms but you can pay them 3% of your money to get paid faster bullshit.
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Oh hey I hope you had a swell World Goth Day yesterday. I had no idea it was WGD until the GMHHAY Slack told me, those guys are just great.
In honor of it, belatedly, here is the goth song I wrote maybe six years ago. Really great tune, if you ask me, namechecks a lotta goth bands.
Listened to it in the car last night for the first time in years, I forgot about all the weird timing I do at the end, it was on purpose, I swear, but now I think it just sounds like a mistake. All in all, though, still a pretty fun song. Life is pain.
My wife was unimpressed. Just like six years ago.
I probably shoulda just named it “I was a Teeenage Goth” though.
Let’s see, let’s see… what else. Supreme Court gutted independent commissions last night. House republicans gutted the filibuster, which is good for us in the long term, provided we still have a republic, but bad in the short term. We should have done that last time but Dems are useless.
But I don’t want to talk about that today, man. It’s Friday and I have it off. I am very excited. I have so many projects to work on today it is going to rule.
I have all these topics in my GMHHAY topic list and I just do not feel like talking about them today, politics is too depressing and I got into a kinda long argument ish with some friends about genocide and Biden and shit last night and I am spent on the politics front for the day.
Oh but one note just says “‘Gamera’ by Tortoise is such an awesome song” and that is true, I can write that today. It has come on twice recently and it was awesome both times. That 12” was like a grail for me pre-Discogs. My then-roommate (and still bestie) Nick had it and I copied it but I could not find my own copy. That, along with Bundy K Brown’s Directions in Music (some people say it’s just called Directions but I respectfully disagree) were the first two things I bought when Discogs came into my life and I will be forever grateful.
Being in front of a computer all day sucks, I’ve done it for four days, that is enough. I realize this is a very difficult thing for a graphomaniac to feel, because, well, I write on a computer and I am a writing addict. I should go back to being an erotomaniac or some shit like when I was young. Eh, this is probably a less harmful mania, even with the whole sitting-at-a-desk misery. Is there a single mania that isn’t harmful in some way, I wonder? Maybe I should switch manias.
Absolutely fantastic morning with Jane this morning. I think it’s because we went to the playground after dinner last night and kept screen time limited to a single episode of her bridge-building videos. No ipad time. Maybe. I don’t know. But she was so great this morning. She got upset when we did the wordle because she chose the first word and it had NO letters correct. It was a strategically very good word, too: TRAIN. But then I told her she would feel better if she had a hug and she said no she won’t she will never be happy again and I said well, just try. And she said okay, which, if you are a parent you know that alone is miracle enough. But then she came in for a hug, and instantly started feeling better, and said “Yes, you werer right, I feel better. We should have another hug so I can feel even better,” and boy, that was just the best, let me tell you.
Then she started drawing a digital clock on the little drawing app in the car, drawing out the digital digits, and changing and updating them every minute it was very cute.
I mean, whatever, nothing unusual happened this morning but it was just magical and lovely and I am very excited to spend the weekend with her.
Please enjoy this photo of her pouting when I said no iPad today it is time for dinner then playground:
Justa mix today. But oh man it is such a good one. It has Paula Abdul on it, come on. And a new Billy Idol song with Avril Lavigne? And an amazing Canadian proto-disco jam that Nick alerted me to this week, and a solid new Marianne Faithfull outing and the new Car Seat Headrest is so good and I listened to this Choir of Young Believers album for the first time in, like, ten years yesterday and it rules and more Shriekback and more Rain Parade and yeah I feel good about it.
Righty-o. Excavator guy wants me to bring him a check. Off I go. Tra la la.
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Good Morning, Hello, How Are You vol 1.