Good Morning. Hello. How are you? #1404
Annual New Year's questionnaire
Good morning, friend. How have you been? Happy new year.
I have, as you may have noticed, taken a week or two off. It was simultaneously refreshing and a terrible mistake. I worry I will never start back up again. This, what you are reading now, is not the re-start, not yet. But it is a step in that direction.
Every year for, oh, 20 years or so I do the same New Year’s questionnaire that was a meme on LiveJournal in, like, 2002 or 3 or something. I wonder what has become of the person who made this questionnaire. Do they know a bunch of boring middle-aged writers still answer it, every year? Do they know?
I re-read the answers I made from last year. The whole thing starts out with the sentence “It’ll be a great year, aside from all the genocide and fascism and whatnot.” Which, hey. Not that far off?
What is a good year, what is a bad year. I don’t really feel time in the span of years, aside from all of the busy work I give myself that hinges on calendar years — resolutions, media consumption lists and whatnot. I can barely remember the last year. I do remember that every year I think these things, and every year I ask myself whether I am going to wing this or, I don’t know. go read the half a million words I wrote this year to remind myself of the year. I will, as ever, wing it.
Oh actually I just realized I can skim the headers I wrote for all of the GMHHAYs. That makes things easier.
So, then, off we go:
1. What did you do in 2024 that you’d never done before?
Well, yesterday I walked through the new lobby of the Coolidge Corner theater, that was new. I was there to see a vampire movie. It was in the big room. As I sat down, it clicked in my brain that I had, for a few years in the 1990’s, gone to vampire film fests in that exact same room. That I was sitting in a big, beautiful, old theater and it was the same one where I first saw Near Dark, or Andy Warhol’s Dracula, or The Fearless Vampire Hunters. It seemed very fitting. I also saw Low in that room, and Conor Oberst solo, but I did not think of that till just now. It was not a thing I’d never done, really, but that feeling, being in that big beautiful room, feeling nostalgia and a connection to my past and a sort of inner peace about the current state of my life, well, if it was not new, exactly, it was rare and pleasant.
Went to a Girl Scout’s meeting. Insulated a pump house. Built a miter saw stand, built a turtle dock, built a garden bench, built a Unifi network, liquidated an office, did this really phenomenal reorganization of my band-aids, just amazing. Threw a successful goth night for kids at a goth club in Boston, actually: got to DJ at the new Man Ray that was awesome. Broke ground on a Boat and RV storage facility. Wore a boot on my foot for three weeks. Watched my daughter graduate from Kindergarten and cried like a baby about it. Went to a recycling recovery facility that was so awesome. Watched a documentary made by a dead friend about another dead friend please god don’t let me have to do that one again. Lived through a double cicada brood. Met my congressman. Sat in a car for three hours trying to convince my daughter to go to school.
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Last year’s resolution, and I quote: “In reality, as much as I want to deny it, 2024 is going to be an absolute shitshow for politics and democracy one way or the other. I guess my resolution is to survive it. I need a plan.” It was, in fact, a shitshow, and I did, in fact survive it, so good for me. ]
This year, three resolutions:
To survive an even worse impending shitshow of a year of politics. To both help and thrive. Borderline impossible, but I am going to try.
To lose 30 pounds. This should be easier.
I am not going to severely curtail my record buying this year. The rules:
If you buy a record, you have to sell a record.
Aside from the records you already ordered in 2024 that have not arrived yet, you must end 2025 with the same number of records as you went into the year with.
I think this will be liberating and fun. I am looking forward to it. Though I have purchased 8 records in the last 48 hours as one big last hurrah.
3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?
Just like last year, we had kids’ new years eve at around 7:30 that featured party poppers, Martinell’s, and the New Year’s crossing in Animal Crossing. I don’t recall going out last year and this year we didn’t either. Spent it at home, with friends. ‘Twas lovely.
4. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Our friends and neighbors had a little baby daughter Chloë (I wonder if there is an umlaut in her legal spelling, actually) and I have babysat her a couple times and she is lovely.
5. Did anyone close to you die?
Off of the top of my head, I can think of five people that, at one point in my life, I was close to. I was not close with any of them at the time of their passing, except I know I would have still been close to all of them were we living in the same place:
Tina, from High School. My high school girlfriend’s close friend, we spent hours and weeks and months together and she was kind and brilliant and she even visited me in Boston during college. She was great. Cancer, I think? Not sure.
Ross, from the early oughts, Boston then New York friend, we caroused in Boston together and worked in the same industry in New York together all the way though the early Timehop years, knew him about twenty years, he was a prince amongst men.
Jeff, in Boston, just one of the kindest guys you’d meet, everyone just loved him, hit the town hard. Made excellent mix tapes. Was thoughtful and never a jerk. The kind of guy the internet would have you believe doesn’t exist, but he did, and he was awesome.
Megan, formerly of… well, we never lived in the same town, I don’t think. A friend from everywhere up and down the east coast. I vowed I would go to every friend’s funeral that died, from here on out, and Megan’s is the only one I managed. Jeff’s was impractical from a timing point of view, and I never even heard a peep about the date/time/place about the rest, and that sucks. Megan was a miracle, and going to her wake was cathartic, both for me and the close friend with whom I went, but for everyone else. I renew my pledge to go to them all.
Dave, from Fairbanks, just this last week, I am still sad about it. Found out on Christmas Day from my sister. Dude was out of the state with family so all we get are “natural causes” as a cause of death and I fucking hate it when families do it to you: a) friends deserve to know, and you are dishonoring your child’s legacy to negate their friendships, and b) if it was some sort of addiction or some shit, then telling the world helps. Plus it keeps people from spinning out. I am upset, I am sad, I am annoyed and it will gnaw at me not ever knowing how such a great guy can just… die. It fucking sucks.
I do not like how this answer gets longer and longer every year. And I am probably forgetting someone.
6. What countries did you visit?
Ummm…. True Detective Night Country?
7. What would you like to have in 2025 that you lacked in 2024?
I would like to sleep in. I would like energy. I would like… a fucking ceasefire?
8. What date from 2024 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Megan’s funeral. Jane’s kindergarten graduation. Real Wild Child. The work summit. The work investment. Though I suppose I couldn’t tell you the actual dates of any of them.
9. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?
I don’t talk a lot about my job but man, I did some good CEOing this year, lead the company through some super-turbulent times and we came out on top. It was a banner year and I am very proud of it.
I am super proud of my gardening bench, miter saw bench and turtle dock.
10. What was your biggest failure?
Hrm. I am still too quick to anger with my daughter and, well, just in general. I will continue my… ten? fifteen year journey to get better at it. But also, at the same time, I am so much better at it.
I had a giant screw-up reset with my weight loss and a giant bout of migraines that set me back a year that kind of sucks.
I did one or two giant screw-ups as an accountant for the pool-company-slash-boat-and-rv-storage-company and, man, accounting is hard. Those were pretty mortifying and I am still scarred.
There are probably others I am blocking out.
11. Did you suffer illness or injury?
This one calls for a bulleted list:
I had migraines for about four-or-five months of the year until I figured out what was causing them, which was my weight loss drug, so I had to stop, switch back to the other one, and the whole thing set me back ages.
I still have tennis elbow for the third year and the doc has given up unless I wanna do some blood-replacement thingy
I sprained my foot and had to wear a boot for six weeks which was both annoying AF and not that big of a deal
My neck still hurts constantly hurts, and I can barely turn it and it is kind of a problem when changing lanes, not gonna lie
My shoulder seems to be getting worse
I get headaches when I bend over
Actually I still get headaches all the time
12. What was the best thing you bought?
Man I bought so many great things wow there are a lot of ways I could answer this, but I think I will go with a 650’ roll of six-strand, single-mode, shielded fiber optic cable.
OH also the LED light and timer I put in the pump house so that the already-existent-when-we-bought-the-place-but-invisible round stained-glass window could light up at night, it really does look super sweet.
13. Where did most of your money go?
Well, I haven’t finished up my 2024 finances yet because who wants to do that on vacation but, you know: mortgage payments probably. Backblaze is my second largest monthly bill. OH. I also got spray foam done in the attic of Chore House as part of the studio construction. That was… not cheap. BUT I did manage to save a lot.
14. What song will always remind you of 2023?
I have prepared for you a whole best-music-of-2024 GMHHAY entry, but it is album-based and, to be honest, I have not thought about individual songs a lot.
“Between Two Points” by David Gilmour with Romany Gilmour
“Guess” by Charlie XCX and Billie Eilish
“Pink Pony Club” by Chappell Roan
“Forever” by the Chameleons
“lovers spit plays in the background” by claire rousay
“Starburster” by Fontaines DC
“SAD KIDS” by Fidlar
“Mob DLA” by High Vis
“Life’s a Fucking Miracle” by James
“Getting Older” by Laudadio
“Shame” by meth.
15. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Exercise, sleep, bedtimes with Jane, LIVE.
16. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Drink. Wake up early. Work. Get angry. Be sad.
17. What was your favorite TV program?
Ummm… well, lemme skim the list. Bluey? My re-watch of Watchmen? Oh I know: The Olympics.
18. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No, but there are people I dislike more.
19. What was the best book you read?
Moonbound by Robin Sloan
Crossings: How Road Ecology Is Shaping the Future of Our Planet by Ben Goldfarb
I really did not read a lot this year until I started reading the entire Tolkien legendarium mid-year.
20. What was your greatest musical discovery?
ALL HANDS MAKE LIGHT, Uboa, Julia Sophie, ior, claire rousay, The Cure, lol
21. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Emma, as ever, man I married well. Jane, actually. She is growing up and becoming a great little person. My sister. My pool partners. My coworkers. My aunt and cousin. Sean and Jussi.
22. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The same fucking people who have been making everyone miserable for years.
23. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
To not have to argue about going to school every morning, man, I was really dreading that.
I am super into my new three-season room that I remodeled in the Somerville apartment it is really great.
I finally obtained a copy of The Futurist by Shellac (thank you, Witz!)
24. Compared to last year, are you:
Happier or sadder? Sadder, probably. I was really very happy in 2023.
Thinner or fatter? Fatter, but I am ON IT.
Richer or poorer? Sort of the same, but a lot of debt was converted back into actual cash money in my bank account, so even if the numbers are similar, bird in the hand, etc. etc.
25. How did you spend Christmas?
On my couch in Somerville, watching thirteen hours of Lord of the Rings as everyone around me sort of drifted in and out of the room and vaguely made me feel guilty about not participating in their secret santa, but I was with people I love and who love me and Frodo. It was great.
26. Did you fall in love in 2022?
No but i did find myself with a new small crush for about a week in… March? somewhere in there. That was a first in a long time. I am over it.
27. How many one night stands?
har har remember the good old days.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I am behind, so… missing a bunch still, and this was the case last year, so my best-ofs of this year would probably be the best from last year like Saltburn or Poor Things. But I did quite like The Substance, though it was too long, and I loved loved loved the last half of Nosfertatu. Seeing The Road to Ruane was unlike any film watching experience ever and it’s a great film. So maybe I’ll just go with that.
29. What did you do on your birthday?
I legitimately don’t remember. Hrm. Let’s go check the archives. I painted the turtle doc with its second coat of anti-fouling paint. I got my truck washed. I went to the garden store. I took the day off. I bought a disc sander. You know, that sounds pretty awesome. I wish I remembered any of that.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
The election going differently.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020?
Even lazier.
32. What kept you sane?
GMHHAY, Emma, friends, that new Tylenol-Advil combination, edibles.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I think after five or so years my crush on Anna Kendrick has finally started to wane. It’s probably Rebecca Fergusson now, though this is loosely held.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Same as last year, and I quote:
The radicalization of the Republican party, the Supreme court, the fake immigration emergencies, Gaza, the impending election, the continuing attempts to steal the last election and the next election, Gaza Gaza Gaza
I said this last year, too: This list could go on and on I am rattling these off without even trying I could add fifty more it is absolutely insane how much of my brain this shit has taken up this year. And there is no going back.
35. Who did you miss?
I miss my mom and dad. I miss Andy Shea. I already miss Dave. I miss living friends, too, the ones who don’t stay in touch, that is hard.
And I missed Jill a lot again this year.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Ummm… did I meet anyone new? I must have. Oh Michelle at the pool job she is pretty great. Richard’s new girlfriend seemed pretty awesome. My sister’s son is swell.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2024.
I have a little blurb I have been workshopping for this answer for the last, oh, seven years. Here is the current iteration:
Hope and Optimism are different things.
Progress isn’t linear. Hard things are hard and things aren’t black and white. The world might be getting better all the time but it was getting better all the time in the dark ages too and that doesn’t mean your life is going to necessarily be in a period where things get better all the time or even at all. People who saw progress their whole lives died with Donald Trump in power and fascism on the rise.
You always will need to do more. You can’t do as much as you should but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Guilt is both useful and useless. Taking care of yourself is not a crime.
Most opposites aren’t opposites. Two opposites can be true at the same time.
We try and simplify things but we lose the truth when we do.
We almost never know what is really going on and we should stop pretending we do.
Bobby Kennedy was an asshole but he did good things. LBJ was an asshole but he did good things. Nixon was an asshole but he did good things. The Bushes were assholes but they did good things. Obama was a good guy but he did bad things. Even Trump occasionally did good things. Jimmy Carter did some shit things but was probably still a saint.
Parenting changes you but doesn’t. Life is fragile. Stop and smell the roses isn’t just a cliche. Health matters. Don’t take it for granted.
I have a new respect for those weird Jewish Rabbis who never take a stand but also take a stand. Ambition is good but poisonous. Slow and steady wins the race. Or it doesn’t win the race but it makes the race a victory on its own. Not winning the race is okay and probably even better. You can be special and not special simultaneously. The best skill is to know when to hold to conflicting views simultaneously and to know when that is wrong and they need to be resolved.
Be ambitious in boring things.
Being a parent is one way your adult friends divide and drift, but it’s not the only one. People can also drift because of all the weird neuroses we all let harden as we get older. Everyone gets weirder as they grow up it really is strange.
Words still matter. Even trite words, even the most overused words. Say the words.
Happy new year.
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Thanks for reading.
And hey! Maybe buy one of my books!
Good Morning, Hello, How Are You vol 1.