057: Hit the Pace Car
First, Tha NEWS.
First and probably most important from a "Ricki claims to be a professional writer" standpoint is that THE FAILURE EXPERIMENT is available from Bookshop.org! You can both avoid that river site owned by a multi-billionaire and instead support your favorite indie shop while still purchasing online, like living in the future! My personal pick is The Haunted Bookshop in Iowa City, but you can check to see if your favorite local shop is a partner, too. (Incidentally, I may look into becoming a Bookshop.org partner one day in the off chance that one of you boogers purchases something from a link (that no one ever clicks on.))
Second, lordt I am tired of being a pincushion. I've had two separate dermatological procedures, one of which had a rather unfortunate run-in with a heavy-handed phlebotomist (we'll just say that the backs of both my hands are still bruised several weeks later), and the other was the first time I've ever had a local procedure and stitches while I was still awake. No thank you. That poor doctor went through a LOT of lidocaine, and I was twitchy as hell besides. But hey: take care of yourself. Keep an eye on your skin. Wear sunscreen. Fuck cancer.
Third, in the midst of all this stabbery, I got roped into working a vendor display at the Chicago Streets NASCAR race this past weekend. It likely won't come as a surprise to most of you than I'm a bit of a gearhead, but a lot of people I've talked to have been surprised that I'm interested in roundy-rounds. I personally think it's a little funny that I got into a NASCAR race for free and my dad died before he ever got to go to a NASCAR Cup event. I hope it chaps his ass, wherever it is, that his queer little nobody poet daughter went and he never got to. I had a lot of fun while there. Ate a lot of terrible food, almost got heat stroke again, got to see Kyle Busch crash into a wall, and generally got to enjoy something that legitimately couldn't happen in any other city in the country. (Shut up F1 fans, your silly little cars get mad if they have to be exposed to a single drain.) All in all, I don't think I want to be on the scheduled, working side of it again, but I also don't want to pay several hundred dollars just to get in the door, so... that may have been a once in a lifetime thing. We'll see. I have a good 20-30 years left, never say never.
And finally: YES. I HAVE BEEN WRITING. I've added a few more segments to 22 CARDS, which you can check out if you subscribe to the Patreon--which has been converted to some version of pay-what-you-want. (All tiers now get the same rewards, which is "all the writing I do on the Patreon.") I work on 22 CARDS in bits and pieces, because that's honestly how I'm able to get anything done. I'll probably have some more work done on it soon since I'm not supposed to lift, bend, or reach for two damn weeks. I'm over half done with the structured part (from a generative point of view), and then I get into a very "what now" phase, because 22 poems does not a book make. We'll see.
Second, INTERLUDE.
Well let's see. I got mauled by a cougar, my Crystal Gayle shirt is ruined, and I didn't learn dick about driving. Other than that, it was great.
~ Will Ferrell, Talladega Nights
Third, CONSUMPTION.
I've been playing a lot of Diablo 4, because it's free on PS Plus this month. Doing my favorite thing (blowing up demons) for free (minus PS Plus subscription) because I don't want to support the company that made it (Blizzard)? If I must.
I learned how to play the Pokemon card game because the kiddo got a shitload of intro stuff for free from a neighborhood event. It's not bad! The print is still way, way too small for an adult who has to sometimes use reading glasses when playing normal board games. In any case, I'm certainly not going to spend any money on it, but if the kiddo does, whatever. They're an adult now.
I have read the ARRL Ham Radio Licence Manual because I am a fucking nerd and getting into ham radio because I am an old person with ADHD. Gonna take some licensure tests soon and see what I can get into. My goal is to eventually turn into Garth from Wayne's World.
Man, I need to get off my ass and read more.
Started playing Balatro, as friend of the program and glitch artist extraordinaire Zoem gifted it to me. One half poker, one half deckbuilder, one half roguelike? It's all my favorite things stuffed together!
Listening to Seu Jorge's The Life Aquatic Studio Sessions while writing this. Fuck this album is good. Part of it how good David Bowie is as a songwriter, but a huge, huge part of it is how good Jorge is as an arranger and performer. Even if you've never seen the movie, or don't even like David Bowie (somehow), give it a listen.
Fourth, HUSTLE.
The new hotness is THE FAILURE EXPERIMENT, which you can get here. It’s a serial poem based in Philip K. Dick, JG Ballard, 20th Century cyberpunk, Jack Spicer, and, well, me.
confessions from a drainage ditch was released in late 2023 through Amazon, and is available in ebook and paperback formats. If you haven't picked it up, it's a great introduction to my more concrete and mainstream work.
There’s my chapbook, A Void and Cloudless Sky. By being a subscriber to this newsletter, you're also entitled to a free PDF version, which you can get here. If you want a hard copy, it’s available here.
If you're liking this whole project and want to support it directly, here is my Patreon. There are lots of little benefits you can get there, from poems written to your specifications to subscriber-only limited-edition chapbooks.
Finally, THE OUTRO.
Last time we talked I was... not in the best place. I'm still not in a great place. But. To copy my words from another chat:
One thing I've been working on in therapy is contrasting what I'm doing with what I think I'm doing. It turns out that I am, in fact, living the life I want under the situation I'm presented with. I'm a good person among good people who do good work, who live as "authentically" as they're able, and who care about the world, other people, the environment. I've done some bad shit in my day, but that doesn't make me a bad person, it makes me someone who sees what they've done and learned to (mostly) be better.
And as hippie and Lennon-y as it sounds, I'm not the only one. I saw what nihilism had to offer and decided that even if there's nothing intrinsic about existence, we're still here now. And that matters As I wrote in THE FAILURE EXPERIMENT: We must imagine Gregor Samsa happy.
See you next time.