032: I'm Just Trying to Stay Sane
AN EMAIL IN SEVERAL PARTS, ONE AFTER ANOTHER
First, Tha NEWS.
Plans have been made for my return to Chicago. Travel is always in flux with me (some might chalk it up to ADHD, some to being a Sagittarius, some to my immense frustration with geography and spacetime) and so when I came up to the farm, I didn't really have a return trip planned. Well, now it is. By this time next week I should be back in the ol' Windy City and snuggling my cats and finding new and different ways to Not Work On Stuff I Should Be Working On.
Things I should be working on include: THE FAILURE EXPERIMENT. CONFESSIONS FROM A DRAINAGE DITCH. Year Two of unpacking from the Idaho move. Cleaning/sorting at my mom's place. Cleaning/sorting the basement at the farm. Mowing the lawn. Updating Patreon. Sending out poetry submissions. Etc.
This isn't to say I haven't been doing these things. I have. We managed to roughly halve the amount of stuff from the move that's still in the garage, either through bringing it into the house or tossing/donating it. These last few boxes are the worst because they were themselves "last few" boxes in the move--the ones where you're basically just throwing shit into a box, marking it MISC, and throwing it on the truck. I've done a fair amount of stuff at my mom's: fixed the garage door, got some numbers off some things to replace, sorted through some tools, fixed the shed door (in that it is now reattached to the shed and it closes), and took down some more brush. THE FAILURE EXPERIMENT continues to get additions here and there. CONFESSIONS... has come back from its readers and is nearing readiness for release, probably sometime in August. I'll TRY to get out and mow the lawn today (after therapy and ice cream.)
Heck, we even did some podcast work last night. In pajamas. (I also came up with the absolutely most ridiculous merch idea while on the edge of sleep.)
I'm starting to think that part of the reason I have problems seeing these moments of progress is because they're both extremely erratic in when they happen and seemingly unimportant details in the middle of a project. Like, yesterday I got a spark plug for a piece of equipment at my mom's. It's not installed, but it's purchased, and that's one fewer step for tomorrow.
In any case, trundling along. (Oh, check HUSTLE for something new, as well!)
Second, INTERLUDE.
First, Tha NEWS.
Plans have been made for my return to Chicago. Travel is always in flux with me (some might chalk it up to ADHD, some to being a Sagittarius, some to my immense frustration with geography and spacetime) and so when I came up to the farm, I didn't really have a return trip planned. Well, now it is. By this time next week I should be back in the ol' Windy City and snuggling my cats and finding new and different ways to Not Work On Stuff I Should Be Working On.
Things I should be working on include: THE FAILURE EXPERIMENT. CONFESSIONS FROM A DRAINAGE DITCH. Year Two of unpacking from the Idaho move. Cleaning/sorting at my mom's place. Cleaning/sorting the basement at the farm. Mowing the lawn. Updating Patreon. Sending out poetry submissions. Etc.
This isn't to say I haven't been doing these things. I have. We managed to roughly halve the amount of stuff from the move that's still in the garage, either through bringing it into the house or tossing/donating it. These last few boxes are the worst because they were themselves "last few" boxes in the move--the ones where you're basically just throwing shit into a box, marking it MISC, and throwing it on the truck. I've done a fair amount of stuff at my mom's: fixed the garage door, got some numbers off some things to replace, sorted through some tools, fixed the shed door (in that it is now reattached to the shed and it closes), and took down some more brush. THE FAILURE EXPERIMENT continues to get additions here and there. CONFESSIONS... has come back from its readers and is nearing readiness for release, probably sometime in August. I'll TRY to get out and mow the lawn today (after therapy and ice cream.)
Heck, we even did some podcast work last night. In pajamas. (I also came up with the absolutely most ridiculous merch idea while on the edge of sleep.)
I'm starting to think that part of the reason I have problems seeing these moments of progress is because they're both extremely erratic in when they happen and seemingly unimportant details in the middle of a project. Like, yesterday I got a spark plug for a piece of equipment at my mom's. It's not installed, but it's purchased, and that's one fewer step for tomorrow.
In any case, trundling along. (Oh, check HUSTLE for something new, as well!)
Second, INTERLUDE.
I will compell thee to assist me in my terrible labours. To beat
These hypocritic Selfhoods on the Anvils of bitter Death
I am inspired: I act not for myself: for Albions sake
I now am what I am: a horror and an astonishment
Shuddring the heavens to look upon me:
~ William Blake, "Jerusalem: The Emanation of the Giant Albion"
Third, CONSUMPTION.
- Progress on Moore's Jerusalem continues apace. I'm up to page 206, and so far we've covered about 150 years or so, and none of it has been in linear order. What I'm most entertained by, aside from the actual book, of course, is Goodreads reviews about the book, and how almost all the negative comments are about either how long it is or how detailed it is. I genuinely don't understand reviews like that. It's a 1200 page book. What did you expect? What other crap do you read?
- Metric put a new single out for the next part of the Formentera album. I love 'em when they get into the particularly disco mode. Emily Haines is a vital part of my life, both in the past and present.
- I'm slightly ashamed to admit it, but I started playing Diablo: Immortal on the laptop. The release of Diablo 4 has left me hankering for some demon-splattering clickies gameplay, and I figured that, since it's available on PC now, a mobile game would be pretty low-stress for the ol' lappy. That "mobile" game is 54 gigabytes on PC! It also has some mind-bogglingly stupid ideas when it comes to in-game progression, but it is a free-to-play game and it is built to be as confusing as possible to keep people pumping money into it, but I have not and have no plans to put money into it ever. My problems with Activision-Blizzard at this point are pretty well known (they suck), and I'm not planning on giving them money until the management has been sacked by Microsoft in the coming months and they clean up their act, but sometimes you just gotta click a demon and see it explode. (I also haven't put that much time into it in the aggregate. It's basically a "when I literally have nothing else to do" activity, and even sleeping usually beats it out.)
- I read the back half of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and uh. I should probably read the front half. And then read the whole thing again. It's probably obvious by now that my childhood (and young adulthood, and middle age) was pretty fraught, but woof. Capital-W Woof. My therapist is gonna be getting an earful today.
- I've been caught up in Immaculate Grid, which is some of the weirdest baseball trivia one could dream up. You learn really quickly that what you think you know about things is hilariously, immensely wrong. For example, Barry Bonds--despite being Barry Lamar Bonds, Holder of All the Records--doesn't have some very key statistical advantages. I usually manage 7 or 8 out of 9 every day, with an occasional 9-of-9, but man. It's tough, even for someone who follows the sport pretty well. I guess I gotta follow closer? ...but at what cost??
Fourth, HUSTLE.
*~New Poetry Alert~*
I have two new poems ("The Gravedigger's Poem" and "Are You Sure What Side of the Glass You Are On?") appearing in the newest edition of Sobotka Literary Magazine, which is set to ship on August 4th. You can preorder a copy here. In addition to my work, there are poems and such by friends and peers who are excellent and great writers. The only way to get these poems will be in print, as the Sobotka folks are very interested in the physical object. No online posts.
Along with the release will be two (yes, two!) readings in Chicago with other folks who have contributed. More details to come when I have them.
Plans are still afoot for my chapbook A Void and Cloudless Sky... watch this space.
If you're liking this whole project and want to support it directly, here is my Patreon. There are lots of little benefits you can get there, from access to a subscriber-only Discord to poems written to your specifications to subcriber-only limited-edition chapbooks.
Finally, THE OUTRO.
My time in North Dakota is coming to a close, but summer will still continue. I have my Fiero project waiting back in Chicago, and I want to get that at least running and moving under its own power before snow flies (which shouldn't be hard, as we are still in the hottest year on record.) Actual production of season two of the podcast will be starting up soon. Those AVaCS plans I mentioned above should be happening once I'm back home and at my desktop computer again. And I have to get some shoes for my sorta-sister-in-law's wedding, which might involve a hustle of its own, or simply some sacrifices and/or ritual magic. (Yes, for shoes. Those of us without means must do what we can, alright?)
The thing to remember is that the one constant about The Work is that The Work never ends. The applies to everything, as everything is The Work. See you again soon.
- Progress on Moore's Jerusalem continues apace. I'm up to page 206, and so far we've covered about 150 years or so, and none of it has been in linear order. What I'm most entertained by, aside from the actual book, of course, is Goodreads reviews about the book, and how almost all the negative comments are about either how long it is or how detailed it is. I genuinely don't understand reviews like that. It's a 1200 page book. What did you expect? What other crap do you read?
- Metric put a new single out for the next part of the Formentera album. I love 'em when they get into the particularly disco mode. Emily Haines is a vital part of my life, both in the past and present.
- I'm slightly ashamed to admit it, but I started playing Diablo: Immortal on the laptop. The release of Diablo 4 has left me hankering for some demon-splattering clickies gameplay, and I figured that, since it's available on PC now, a mobile game would be pretty low-stress for the ol' lappy. That "mobile" game is 54 gigabytes on PC! It also has some mind-bogglingly stupid ideas when it comes to in-game progression, but it is a free-to-play game and it is built to be as confusing as possible to keep people pumping money into it, but I have not and have no plans to put money into it ever. My problems with Activision-Blizzard at this point are pretty well known (they suck), and I'm not planning on giving them money until the management has been sacked by Microsoft in the coming months and they clean up their act, but sometimes you just gotta click a demon and see it explode. (I also haven't put that much time into it in the aggregate. It's basically a "when I literally have nothing else to do" activity, and even sleeping usually beats it out.)
- I read the back half of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and uh. I should probably read the front half. And then read the whole thing again. It's probably obvious by now that my childhood (and young adulthood, and middle age) was pretty fraught, but woof. Capital-W Woof. My therapist is gonna be getting an earful today.
- I've been caught up in Immaculate Grid, which is some of the weirdest baseball trivia one could dream up. You learn really quickly that what you think you know about things is hilariously, immensely wrong. For example, Barry Bonds--despite being Barry Lamar Bonds, Holder of All the Records--doesn't have some very key statistical advantages. I usually manage 7 or 8 out of 9 every day, with an occasional 9-of-9, but man. It's tough, even for someone who follows the sport pretty well. I guess I gotta follow closer? ...but at what cost??
Fourth, HUSTLE.
*~New Poetry Alert~*
I have two new poems ("The Gravedigger's Poem" and "Are You Sure What Side of the Glass You Are On?") appearing in the newest edition of Sobotka Literary Magazine, which is set to ship on August 4th. You can preorder a copy here. In addition to my work, there are poems and such by friends and peers who are excellent and great writers. The only way to get these poems will be in print, as the Sobotka folks are very interested in the physical object. No online posts.
Along with the release will be two (yes, two!) readings in Chicago with other folks who have contributed. More details to come when I have them.
Plans are still afoot for my chapbook A Void and Cloudless Sky... watch this space.
If you're liking this whole project and want to support it directly, here is my Patreon. There are lots of little benefits you can get there, from access to a subscriber-only Discord to poems written to your specifications to subcriber-only limited-edition chapbooks.
Finally, THE OUTRO.
My time in North Dakota is coming to a close, but summer will still continue. I have my Fiero project waiting back in Chicago, and I want to get that at least running and moving under its own power before snow flies (which shouldn't be hard, as we are still in the hottest year on record.) Actual production of season two of the podcast will be starting up soon. Those AVaCS plans I mentioned above should be happening once I'm back home and at my desktop computer again. And I have to get some shoes for my sorta-sister-in-law's wedding, which might involve a hustle of its own, or simply some sacrifices and/or ritual magic. (Yes, for shoes. Those of us without means must do what we can, alright?)
The thing to remember is that the one constant about The Work is that The Work never ends. The applies to everything, as everything is The Work. See you again soon.
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