Not knowing if you're doing the right thing with your time
Hi friends,
Taking time off is great at first. It's relaxing, exciting, an adventure. Then, eventually, the monkey brain anxiety kicks in. No one is telling me what to do. I'm not making enough money. I'm not getting better from burnout yet.
I start stressing about the 20 cent price increase in Taco Bell cheese and bean burritos (no cheese) and spicy potato tacos (no cheese) and second-guess myself for writing blog posts with my time. Reading a novel (Detransition, Baby) feels worthwhile and also anxiety-inducing.
Most of us are conditioned to value productivity, meaning, we should be constantly doing stuff that someone else told us was important. Then if we get to a place where we're doing stuff we, ourselves, think is important, it feels like something is missing. Perhaps the hardest part of being self-employed is being the manager, filling the role of the person we respect, appreciate, but also resent or feel distant from as the person who does the grunt work.
To be a good self-manager, you have to tell yourself you are doing the right thing. You got this. It's okay to feel anxious but it's also okay to keep doing the things you're doing. And expect the monkey brain anxiety. It comes for everyone.
This week on the blog:
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Take care,
Rey