Listen, I will hold up this comic to speak for myself:

Hello dears, 

A lot is happening and a lot isn’t happening and it’s within this fog of time that I operate.

THINGS I HAVE DONE

I went to AWP and had a few migraines. I also hugged dear friends (and my mom), and met many people I have only seen online and I was again awash in inspiration for DOING THE THING that can sometimes get diminished among all the other things in my life.

I celebrated Lisa’s debut book as it takes off in the world. I went to the Walters Art Museum, Lexington Market, and Westminster Hall & Burying Ground. Places away from the brutalist walls of the convention center, which was being monitored by Tactical Protective Services, people in tactical vests and guns roaming the aisles of the book fair. THE BOOK FAIR! 

I went as a Solstice alum, as a member of CavanKerry Press (I love my new job at CKP because it is a press with heart and that makes my heart happy), as the co-director of TNC and as a poet on my own. So many different connections with so many different orbits.

Still, I honestly walked away from AWP a little depressed, sore, and tired. If I examine my feelings, it is envy because of all these poets with all their books and friendships and popularity, which is what I want. There is always going to be the FOMO, or the FOBTL (fear of being too late). The doing too much for others and not enough for myself. It’s a fine line because I so enjoy making things happen – it’s just easier to do it for other people.

AWP is problematic and exhausting and confuses me. Still I smiled a lot.

I got back just in time for Community Broadcast week at WAVM. I did two radio shows and it’s such a thrill to be able to broadcast songs and ideas and words in conversation with good friends. Patrick was a diligent DJ — much respect for his organization. To be fair, I did a run of show for the night before, so we are equal parts nerd. As Patrick said, it’s so cool that our kid gets this experience.

THINGS I WILL DO

Thursday March 19, join me for some Emily Dickinson at the Poetry Appreciation Society at the library. We’ll talk about her life and work and how much I hate that Billy Collins poem.

Saturday, March 21, it’s the 7th Annual Bow Market Book Fair. I will be in Bow Market typing poems on demand from 2-4. Please if you are in the area, come say hi! I will write you a poem! 

Tuesday, March 24, join me online as The Notebooks Collective launches Lisa’s book, It’s What I’ve Got Left, with poet Melissa Fite Johnson. 

[[Saturday, March 28, we’ll be screaming in Memorial Park as part of No Kings — and you should be screaming at any of the 3,000 events across the country.]]

April 7-11, it’s the Maynard Book Festival:

• Thursday, April 9, at 6 PM I am curating a poetry reading with Lowell poet Meg Smith. We will be reading at Felixology Bookshop.

• Friday, April 10, at 7 PM, Luke O’Neil will be reading at the library. I will be introducing him and then doing a Q&A with him after his reading. 

And then Tuesday, April 14, Gabrielle Calvocoressi and Sasha Waters will be in conversation at The Notebooks Collective, talking about Mary Oliver! OMG.

SPRING WILL COME

Somewhere there is spring and some sense of stability and new growth in the ground. I can see the tips of the daffodils emerging in the bed I made last spring. The snow has melted, the grass is flat and brown. It might snow today and Tuesday it will be 65. This yo-yo-ing of the weather is as confused as I am. There are birds again, which gives me hope.

One does the best that one can, while fearing for loved ones, vulnerable folks, and my own family’s health. We need a Rebel base (and Diego Luna), a safe space where we can work together to take care of each other and get ready to fight back. I realize this sounds like some survivalist compound, which in a way it is, just without all the white supremacy and conspiracy theories. 

All I can say is keep making art and sabotaging the gears of fascism. 

All I can say is I love you and hope you are well. 

I want to return to the shore.

Take care,

B