Late Bloomer: How Queer Country Informs Queer Parenting
Howdy, cowpokes! So sorry for the radio silence — my dad had to undergo emergency surgery in Calgary, of all places, the night before we were supposed to fly back from vacation. I was with him this past week. All is well and he is in the air with my sister as I type, back to God’s Country (New York City.)
Mark your calendars for the next Rainbow Rodeo Live! show featuring The Locksmiths, Mylo Choy, Tami Hart, and Jackfruit at the queer country mothership, Branded Saloon, in Brooklyn on 5/25 from 8 - 10 PM!
And now, an excerpt from Rosie Tebay’s essay “Late Bloomer.” Rosie generously donated this article, and you can read the full version on our monthly Patreon.
I first started listening to Adeem the Artist (they/them/theirs) back in April of 2023 when I heard their NPR interview on the radio. I was smitten with their music and stories. Before that, I was never really into Country. It’s not what I grew up with since I originally hail from NYC. But here I am, an Alabamian for the past couple of years and change. Living in God’s Country and listening to Country music just feels right. Somehow the landscape just lends itself to it.
Adeem the Artist is one of my favorite musicians because they are so genuine and introspective and their song “ICU” is like all the unconditional love one who is queer may have missed out on in their youth. For me, as I was trying to figure out my identity and sexuality, I felt shame and insecurity. It’s noteworthy that Adeem, (like many folks who identify as queer) may not have had the unconditional love of both their parents and yet, they embody love for themselves and others. Talk about empathy.
Adeem’s latest single, “Rotations” off of their newly released “Anniversary” album is a breathtakingly beautiful song about the love between Adeem and their child Isley. It will definitely be in my rotation this Mother’s Day and the days to come, especially when I’m missing my child, Josephine.
Maybe it’s no coincidence that I’m a late bloomer. Discovering Queer Country in my 40’s is the vehicle towards me living a more authentic life that embraces all the love I have for myself, people of all gender/sexual identities, including whomever my child wishes to be as she grows up and learns more about who she is. What’s more ‘American’ and wholesome than listening and singing along to Adeem’s “Fervent for the Hunger” with your kid as you drive to Grandma’s house?
For several years now, I’ve been noticing the diversity of Josephine’s gender. Her pronouns are still “she” and purple is her favorite color. There’s something special about having music to help navigate parenting a child who sometimes likes to pretend to go potty like a boy or expresses interest in being a boy through dramatic play that was quite helpful and healing. Especially considering the dearth of age-appropriate books on these topics, not to mention access to such resources in our public libraries.
Once you’re a fan of Adeem’s then you can’t help but become a fan of all of their musician friends (If you’re like me, at least). Jessye DeSilva’s (she/her/they) beautiful voice and deeply personal songwriting is the perfect gift not only for queer folks, but parents of queer children. I know that I’m not alone in that sentiment. One time I accidentally left my phone with Josephine as it streamed, “Chim Chim Cher-ee.” When I returned, she was 90% into Jessye’s “Dysphoria.” Josephine said, “I like this song.” We would also spend countless hours together driving everywhere and listening to her music. I would tell Josephine how these artists identify and hopefully, if nothing else I’ve made her realize that gender is something that can be fluid; That you can explore your gender identity through the toys you choose to play with or how you want to dress. I have a dream that a policymaker will take Jessye’s song, “Clouds” into a hearing to help address anti-trans legislation, especially for youth.
Autonomy is underrated, especially for children. I want my child to have the freedom to be themselves, whomever they may be. So that they may live their lives with integrity. Maybe then we can end this intergenerational fear and shame and so they won’t have to be a late bloomer, like me.
Reviews
Spencer LaJoye embraces queer joy on Shadow Puppets
Rocker Sar Rudy shares her thoughts on Joh Chase’s infectious Solo
Georginia Sandoval reviews Lawrence Rothman’s groundbreaking The Plow That Brook the Plains
Interviews
Rachael Sage Returns to “Another Side”
Ana Egge Shares in the Spirit
New Music
VIDEO PREMIERE: Hannah Connolly is Damn “Tired of Trying”
Our last playlist (from 4/16) features Jada Cato, Lily Rose, Whitney Fenimore, and more!
Events
5/25 (Brooklyn) -- Rainbow Rodeo Live! at Branded Saloon with The Locksmiths, Jackfruit, Mylo Choy, and Tami Hart!
6/5 (Nashville) -- Ty Herndon's annual Concert For Love and Acceptance
6/6 (Torrey, UT) — Jaime Wyatt is playing Fort Desolation Fest
6/22 (Vienna, VA) — Storied venue the Wolf Trap is hosting an Out & About Fest, featuring Brittany Howard, Jenny Lewis, Kim Gordon, and many more artists!
Artist Resources
What's a premiere and how do you pitch it?
Got a release coming up? Add it to Country Everywhere’s newsletter! Country Everywhere is a directory of artists and news for queer, BIPOC, and disabled artists.
With Bandcamp changing hands and union busting, here are some alternative resources for selling your music online
Are you on BlueSky? Queer country artist 2 AM Wake Up Call created this feed of musicians. You can ask them to be added to the feed!
I also made a Y’alltertantive Feed on Bluesky. Let me know if you’d like your posts to appear on the feed!
We Are Moving the Needle is looking for women and non-binary audio engineers and music producers
Eli Conley is teaching Unlock the Song Inside: Beginning Songwriting Class for Queer & Trans Folks & Allies, and he also offers an online LGBTQ+ songwriter circle!
Are you on Mastodon or another part of the Fediverse? Get your music on RadioFreeFedi!
PS — If you’re thinking of joining Mastodon, make an account on musician.social and read my tips for making Mastodon work for you!
Submit your music and events to The Q LGBTQ Creative Network
This Twitter thread has a whole list of places to find jobs in the music industry
And here’s a list of resources for “women” entering the music industry — presumably they also encourage nonbinary participants
Submit your profile to the Country Everywhere which seeks to unite BIPOC, LGBTQ+, and disabled artists and professionals
Sign up to the Black Opry Revue’s interest form!
Check out the weekly Queerfolk Fest show in Nashville